Realizing that we're not sexually compatible
Posted Sat Sep 15, 2012 11:39 PM
Posted Sun Sep 16, 2012 01:10 AM
This post has been edited by Saysoon: Sun Sep 16, 2012 01:15 AM
Posted Sun Sep 16, 2012 02:48 AM
And if he's getting angry at you during sex for not being able to perform unrealistic things to accommodate his expectations, then I am really concerned for you.
14 months into marriage, you are still meant to be in the "honeymoon" loving, enthralled in each other phase, if that's how he's treating you now, what's he going to be like after years of marriage or when there's downs in life that you have to cope with?
Regardless of how HE feels about counselling, I suggest YOU get some on your own, to help you work out what is important to you. Because by the sounds of it, you won't change him, so the only person you can change is you. And do you really want to be the person you would need to be, to make that marriage work? Only you know what is best, but you do have a lot of thinking to do.
Posted Mon Sep 17, 2012 07:34 AM
This happens in countless relationships -- sex starts to go stale, people become complacent, they stop doing the things they did before, etc.
If it's not talked about or correct, it becomes an enormous problem in a relationship because let's face it, the only thing that separates marriage from solely being roommates is the affection and SEX.
I read an article once that if you don't do something to get out of a rut within x amount of time (I think it's something like 3 weeks) then it becomes almost impossible to fix the problem.
The only real advice I can give is to make him communicate-- don't really care how hard it is, you gotta make it happen. Without that, you're lost.
But don't get down on yourself or the relationship simply because the sex isn't great right now. If it was great in the past, it will be great again. People go through phases and ruts. It happens.
Posted Mon Sep 17, 2012 01:56 PM
I agree. The mrs & I dated for 2 years then lived together for another 2 before we got engaged to make sure it would work. Been great ever since. "you can't base a marriage on sex, but bad sex can ruin a marriage" too many people get hung by the euphoria of getting married.
Posted Tue Sep 18, 2012 06:05 AM