Personality is what counts, isn't it? How true is it?
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 12:58 PM
whenever one asks the question about how appearance/looks/beauty is important, most folks will answer that what counts is the personality, the beauty inside, I mean, the character of the person, her/his kindness, etc. There are very few I've seen acknowledging that looks are important. Most are the politically correct type: what counts is personality, beauty of their minds, etc.
However, being a veteran of SF pms and chatbar, I find myself wondering how true those claims are. Because the thing men (must be the same with women, but I only chat with men, even though I'd love to chat with women) ask the most are for pictures, then how I look like, etc. It is all about appearance/looks. Only a handful care to know anything about my personality.
Mind you, I'm not being negative about any of this. I, myself, prefer to look at images of people who look nice (to my definition of "nice"), than people who I think are ugly (to what "ugly" means to me). Since the probability the guy behind the keyboard across the ocean looks "nice" to my taste is thin anyway, I just imagine him the way I want. They all look like my friend, or Daniel Craig, or Shlomo Mintz. Sometimes I'm feeling adventurous and they look like Brad Pitt. I've even tried Conan, the Barbarian, with nice results!!!
Could you guys help me understand this paradox. So, to make it simple, how does "I don't care about appearance, personality is what counts" go together with "how do you look like? Send me a picture" ?
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 01:38 PM
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 01:54 PM
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 02:06 PM
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 02:10 PM
If someone looked like Conan the Barbarian - as well as typed like a Barbarian - would you continue chatting on a regular basis?
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 02:21 PM
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 02:27 PM
I have asked for one photo before, but believe it or not it wasn't for my own gratification. The whole point of chat fun for me is to make the object of my attention feel a little bit more naughty and hopefully give them some more pleasure from the experience. Having a woman take a photo can enhance that if done properly.
For me personally I'm not going to even consider playing with the world's most beautiful woman if she's able to hold a good conversation with some wit, humour and intelligence. I might as well just peruse some porn.
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 02:33 PM
theres alot that dont care about the personality but all they want is to kick off their clothes and wank to a "beauty"
there is a imagine you create in your head if you havent seen them before, u work out how they look like..its nice when i can match a face to a person, and sometimes it doesnt matter because you truly like them for their personality then nothing else matters.
there has to be a little attraction. its like a fantasy.
i think people would prefer to talk to someone who looks like tara reid than dawn french anyday..but in real life,some say looks count way more than personality, you can look at someone and not like them from the start.
This post has been edited by ButtercupLocket: Sun Sep 30, 2012 02:34 PM
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 02:35 PM
But even then - I often wonder if it's really them in their pics.
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 03:17 PM
there 3 things of compatability you can make it work with just 2... just 1 is a no go, and if your lucky too find some one wich ytour conected with on all 3 then your lucky as hell
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 03:48 PM
I think generally for women, we require more of an emotional attachment to someone. This doesn't mean we're wanting to start relationships with them or something!
But some kind of attachment and spark in our minds has to come first. Men are generally all visual, ass titties ass and titties, and they're good to go.
I also think mentality and age plays a part in this as well-- I've found that mature, older men seek closer to the same type of attachment and connection that I search for while younger men tend to just want instant live porn; and there's nothing wrong with either of those things, as long as you find a partner who shares your desires.
It was quite amusing to me as a teenager. I wasn't nearly as attractive as I am now and I was shot down all the time, and now later in life the same people who shot me down come running after me.
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 05:06 PM
On this site I only look at pics of girls who i think are nice, looking at pics of girls who are unpleasant dont interest me at all.
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 05:34 PM
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 05:50 PM
So I guess I'm trying to say that personality can make an attractive person really ugly and vice versa. But regardless, to answer your question, I think most people are still curious as to know what the person they are talking to looks like even if it wont factor into them wanting to get to know your personality.
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 05:50 PM
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 06:53 PM
In all honesty, looks is the first must if I am going to be sexually attracted. I am visually dominant and derive a great deal of sexual energy from what I see. BUT, if she doesn't have the personality, I get turned off just as fast.
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 07:05 PM
Very true. If I'm just looking for a guy to hook up with/fantasize about, I'm not going to be too concerned about his personality as long as we don't completely clash. If I want a friend or more than that, then I'll get to know them better.
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 10:43 PM
Posted Mon Oct 01, 2012 01:50 AM
In a way, I keep the barbarians at the gate by giving them what they want before they even think about contacting me... I'm a bit of a solitaire anyway, so if someone wants to chat me up these days, they'd better come up with a good topic because my attention focus is very limited and my time is at a premium. Not to sound self important, but as much as I like this site, being here is not near the top of my priority list.
Something funny that happens in live chat is that men stop trying to chat up women when women are posting their nudes. Nothing like visuals to keep heads busy and mouths shut...