Posted Sun Oct 07, 2012 09:53 PM
I always thought that before we had broken up that the reason we were only having sex once a week was because of the issue of not being able to reach orgasm. But now, its certain she will orgasm but we still only have sex once a week at the most. Sometimes we can go 2 weeks without sex... I have a very strong sex drive, and find myself having to masturbate every day, sometimes twice a day just to control my thought space. I love this girl to bits, I plan on marrying her in the near future and would love to start a family with her. But sex is a very important to me, and I feel extremely dissatisfied in the bedroom. I am always telling her that she looks sexy, and always going for sneaky touches here and there, (not in a sleazy way!) trying to spark something, but she just does not have the desire to ever initiate sex. I get sick of being rejected for it, and We have talked about it before, and said that we would make a conscience effort to have more sex, but it just never happens! We even planned a week were we would have to have sex every night for a week. - We got to the third day, and it didnt happen, then we went about two weeks without it.
What should I do?
I love her that much, that this isnt a make or break issue, but the thought of living my life unhappy with our sex life is not very pleasant.
How many times a week is normal for a relationship? when i talk to my mates they say about 3-4 times is normal for them. When I said i sometimes go 2 weeks without they think Im crazy.... Is that crazy?
I know there is plenty of similar situations to this out there, so if anyone has been through this and their problem has been resolved, please tell me how.
Posted Sun Oct 07, 2012 10:13 PM
With my ex I got some form of sexual pleasure at least 3-4 times a week. Prior to you time apart the reason you got it more then was probably because she was looking for the climax herself...now she gets to experience that she might not want it that much...she is probably more satisfied now.
My problem goes to the next extreme were I'm luck to get a kiss or hug...they are far from daily and few and far between. My method of dealing is self reflection and acceptance because no matter how hard it might be I love her above all else
It is very natural to have a high sex drive and to want it more, let's face it; if it weren't for men the world wouldn't be populated if it weren't for women the world would be over populated.
They are the Ying to our Yang and are just as essential in the decision to have sex, you need to talk to her but in a way that doesn't make her out to be the bad person after all it is her choice.
Open and honest talking will allow for you both to mature and grow more as adults together and in turn understand more about each other. She might be bored or she might be more satisfied bit until you ask you won't know and pestering for sex or becoming insistent is only going to lower her sex drive.
Try creating the mood for her, be romantic and show that you do think of her a lot, a romantic dinner, New sexy out fit or underwear perhaps.
My problem is yet to be resolved and probably never will judging by the conversations we have had about it. It is one of the big reasons I am on this forum and while I am steal seeking answers I am confident in time they will come.....and if they don't.....well I need to be content with what I have
Posted Sun Oct 07, 2012 10:40 PM
It would be amazing if there was some sort of basic answer. A magic quick fix. But there isnt!
She makes an amazing effort with every other aspect of the relationship, so I dont want to feel ungrateful.
I suppose Ill just have another chat and temporally fix it for while.
Posted Mon Oct 08, 2012 06:06 AM
Posted Mon Oct 08, 2012 03:54 PM
I love her that much, that this isnt a make or break issue, but the thought of living my life unhappy with our sex life is not very pleasant. Then it looks like you know your choices. Stay with the woman you say you love "that much" and accept the unhappy life regarding sex if that's the greater option. Or drop her and move on the next chick, being sad about giving up the chick you love, but wont have to fret about having a life of minimal sex.
The fear of losing the girl is the greatest hang up guys have. Studies have shown men handle break ups worse than women do, despite popular perception. When men are with a woman for a length of time, they begin to associate her with the same sentiment that goes along with "home", and will have an emotional "homelessness" more prominent then the chick's after the break up for a longer period of time than the chick.
http://www.menshealt...eakup/index.php (among others I can provide if you want)
Get over that anxiety and sadness of dumping the chick you're not happy with. Get over the familiarity that breeds the level of comfort that you're accustomed to. If you're not happy with her, drop her. Get another...and there will always be another.
Posted Sat Oct 20, 2012 10:10 AM