Never Have Had Sex With Any Other Person
Posted Wed Oct 10, 2012 02:24 PM
But the central issue here is that I feel like there's something wrong with me in that I've never experienced sex with anyone else other than my wife. I think I'm pretty good at pleasuring a woman; at least my wife seemed to have pretty strong orgasms when we made love. It's not been all missionary or stiff in any way. In fact, there have been many, many times I gave her oral and orgasms while I had none. I'm on medication that causes ED. But lately, I've been able to overcome that. I'm no expert at sex or giant when it comes to penis size. I'm average sized. But, as I said, I do know how to pleasure a woman. But we haven't had sex for about 2 years now. She's mad at me for my masturbating and lost all desire for sex. We've been married 37 years. In all that time and before I've been monogamous. In one way I feel proud for having done that. But in a very different way, I feel I'm a freak and have missed something special in life. That isn't the only thing I think I have missed in life, but it is the thing that seems to be the most important. I just don't want to feel anymore like a freak and not capable of being wanted by any other woman on earth. I don't think I'm ugly, unloveable, or monstrous in any way. I try to be as clean, courteous and personable as I can. But I can't shake this feeling there's something wrong with me.
Am I totally crazy? Thanks, folks, for any advice you can give.
Posted Wed Oct 10, 2012 02:27 PM
Posted Wed Oct 10, 2012 05:25 PM
Posted Wed Oct 10, 2012 07:44 PM
Women and life-partners aren't cars. I am inclined towards your logic, BC...but I also don't think it's reasonable for everyone to develop the same way or to the same end. It's interesting to note that the OP hasn't mentioned much regarding curiosity about other women, which I think makes his case remarkable. He's more concerned that there's something wrong with him than having "missing out" on something. His overriding theme here is whether or not he's a freak or if there's something wrong with how he ended up choosing to lead his sex life.
^^^ This...I agree, but with some caveats.
^^^ Also agree
Burton, if I'm right in interpreting your overall concern as you potentially being a freak or having done something wrong, I would be reticent to listen to anyone who says they believe you're wrong. They're not you...you're not them. They did what they believed served them best. You, I'm assuming, did the same.
You didn't mention any dissatisfaction with your wife in your entire post. If you're happy with your wife, there is literally ZERO reason you should be concerned about this....I mean, what do you think you'll find by having nailed some other chick? How would this alter your life in any meaningful way? These are questions only you can answer, guy.
I would encourage you to give a lot of thought before making a move that can lose someone that, going by your post, you have little to complain about. Instead, you should invest your efforts into having sex with wifey again so she knows you're into her. (If you are)
I think I'm missing something, here....what is it you're looking to accomplish? Just not wanting to be a freak? I can tell you that you're not a freak just because you had sex with the one woman you married. Aint shit wrong with that if that's how you wanted to do it. Anyone who tells you there is I would strongly disagree with.
Posted Wed Oct 10, 2012 07:55 PM
I married my first & I have no regrets at all .
Quality always surpasses Quantity .
It doesn't always work out that way for everyone these day , but for those blessed few of us that it does
It is & I am >:]
Posted Wed Oct 10, 2012 09:02 PM
Posted Thu Oct 11, 2012 08:46 AM
Same here. Been married 50 years.
No - there is nothing wrong with you. I don't regret never having sex with someone else but since we have not had sex in over 2 years I do miss it and the intimacy.
Posted Thu Oct 11, 2012 09:15 AM
Wow. Whoever the jerk is fucking is a very, very lucky girl............NOT!
I read this post and thought the guy was to be admired for having only ever been with one woman. And then he gets some stupid, very sexist ramblings from some fool that would have the NERVE to compare a woman to a damn CAR! Let me guess, he also probably thinks that a man owns his woman.
Absolutely absurd........... To the original post, dear man you are to be commented. And if your wife no longer desires sex from you then I personally think it would be totally appropriate for you to look for sex outside of the marital bonds. Sad, but this happens as couple age. Usually both partners lose the desire at around the same time and it doesn't become an issue.
Posted Thu Oct 11, 2012 09:26 AM
Posted Thu Oct 11, 2012 09:37 AM
Posted Thu Oct 11, 2012 09:40 AM
Sorry, that just set me off............
Posted Thu Oct 11, 2012 09:59 AM
I would try and get over the only been with one woman thing, and the use of the phrase of it being a freak thing. Sounds like you are trying to justify going outside the marraige for an affair. Having been with only one woman does not make you a freak, inexperienced but not a freak.
When talking to your make it clear to her that if she is not going to make a change that there is a strong chance that the relationship will not continue. Try not to make the talk solely about sex, tell her your relationship is missing something that is important to you. At least at that point you have given her a chance and then you can seperate prior to having another relationship. Trust me you don't want her to tell your children (no matter what their age) that you had an affair after 37 years, or walked out without giving her a chance.
I am 41 and have been married 23 years, and if I have learned anything it is that communication is key, if she is unwilling to have the conversation, tell her that you can put it off for one week to give her time to think about it, but that after a week you are going to have to discuss it.
Posted Sat Oct 13, 2012 05:39 PM
I know you miss sex, but this is your wife. Why not talk to her and explain how much you miss making love to her. See if she is willing to give a little.
Marriage means so much more than sex.