Question about stamina as it relates to experience
Posted Fri Oct 12, 2012 01:38 PM
I have a question that pertains to sexual stamina, and how it changes with your experience. I am 22 (quick note: when I turned 18, this SF account was "handed down" to me as a playful gift from a slightly older friend. but I came to love it here! So that's why my account is 6 years old but I'm only 22). Anyway, I am a 22 year-old male who has not had a lot of sex. This is not for lack of opportunity or beliefs or anything, I'm just pretty picky and am not that interested unless I have a good connection with someone. I've messed around with a lot of people, but haven't actually had that much intercourse.
I lost my virginity when I was 20. didn't have sex for another year and a half, then had one night stands with friends 3 times over 6 or so months. I settled into a comfortable sexual relationship with someone who was in my area for a short term, but it was only for a week. So all in all, I've only had sex about 10 times, spread out over 2+ years, with my only steady streak being every night for a week.
My question is, is that minimal amount of time still leaving me in the "virgin stage" of sexual stamina? With the exception of one time (when I had a lot of alcohol in my system), I've only ever lasted 1-2 minutes of penetration. Now I know I can last a little longer, because to this point it's usually been very quick-paced and single-position, and, for whatever reason, the foreplay progression seems to be such that the sex immediately follows a blowjob, so I'm already well stimulated without much come down time. So when I settle into a comfortable sexual relationship with someone, I'm sure that it will be 5-10 minutes rather than 1-2. But I'm just curious as to whether my sexual stamina will grow once sex is no longer a rarity in my life. I know I'll never have great stamina (I'm very easily aroused, and I don't last incredibly long masturbating or getting head), but I wonder how much it will change.
I'm not looking for reassurance that it's fine to not last long. I'm quite comfortable with where I'm at, and I love giving oral, and have had comfortable enough sexual partners to know that I'm quite talented in that department. And I'd be happy to orgasm, please a girl orally while I get it back up, and then settle into a longer round two. So I'm not looking for reassurance or advise, I'm just wondering whether I have very poor stamina, or whether I just am still pretty virginous due to my inexperience and irregularity.
Any and all viewpoints and opinions would be wonderful.
Posted Fri Oct 12, 2012 05:09 PM
Posted Mon Oct 15, 2012 08:53 AM
Posted Mon Oct 15, 2012 10:06 AM
For starters, I have never really understood this notion of sexual stamina in men. If I can put it in the most simplistic terms, I'd say that lasting longer simply comes with age. Then, obviously, if you have sex more often, then you'd also last longer as well, and this is regardless of age. I couldn't tell you for sure, since I'm not a man, but some people claim that doing kegels or edging while masturbating can help you last longer, so you may want to experiment with that to see if that helps you increase your times. Of course, there are always exceptions... Young guys who for some reason take a longer time, and older fellows who still cum like teenagers within 2 or 3 minutes.
On the other hand, as a woman, I can tell you that I think this idea of going on marathon fucks of an hour or so per round is simply ridiculous, and that I have no idea why some men convey this as some kind of sexual achievement. You don't read threads from women here saying how much they like to have non stop sex for hours in a row. Vaginas aren't made to stand that kind for rubbing whether there's a female orgasm or not. You can do a search, and read responses to questions like this, and you'll see that most women start getting irritated after 30 minutes of sex, so I fail to see what the point of lasting hours is.
You also raised a very interesting point regarding how foreplay progresses from kissing and touching directly to the girl giving you a blowjob, which is really not helping you to last longer when it comes to the actual sex. If I may, I'd say that this thing with blowjobs is nothing more than copycat porn. If I were you, I'd avoid blowjobs and would actually give her oral instead so that she can be at least as stimulated as you are if not more. Personally, I seem to be more ready to give blowjobs to help gaining erections for the most part. I like penetration, so I'm not too keen on wasting erections with my mouth, but there are times when I indulge a guy and give him a blowjob to ejaculation, then swallow. For me, this is more like an act of gratitude though, and I'll generally do it with men I like a lot... I fuck with a condom, but I give bareback blowjobs if that makes sense.
In terms of stamina, I can tell you what my experience has been... Yes, that of one woman, with many men... And I have a good sample of men, not just one. Let me just say that it's okay if you finish in one or two minutes. Most men your age are like that... It's called youth, and it's got absolutely nothing to do with inexperience or any type of sexual sophistication... Or lack of it thereof. What I have noticed is that if you can recover fast enough as most young guys do, then she'd be able to continue having sex, you'd be able to last a little longer the second time, and hopefully, she'll be able to gain satisfaction. Besides, it's fun to see a guy losing control, and act apologetic with another erection.
Posted Mon Oct 15, 2012 11:41 AM
This is a wonderful point, so thanks for bringing it up. No one that I've had sex with has expressed any disappointment in the length of time (and again, i've had pretty open sexual relationships), and all have seemed pretty happy to be performed on orally until well pleasured, and then penetrated for a few minutes. So this is a good reminder that more is not always better!
I agree with you here, definitely. To be honest, the reason for this thus far has been that the people I'm with have either really liked giving head (in the case of the woman I had sex with multiple times), or, in the case of the isolated events, things have escalated such that when the oral began we didn't know whether or not we were going to have sex. I certainly enjoy blowjobs, but, especially given my short leash with stamina, they seem superfluous and a little wasteful when sex is an option.
There is comfort for me that in the one time I lasted on the 15 minute side rather than the 2 minute side, was when I didn't get a blowjob, and we mixed up the positions with better frequency (though again, I also had a lot of alcohol in my system which probably contributed).
works for me! thanks again, one and all, especially you, Olive; I always like reading your opinions on SF and this was certainly no exception!
This post has been edited by burb: Mon Oct 15, 2012 11:42 AM
Posted Tue Oct 16, 2012 07:35 PM
Posted Mon Dec 24, 2012 07:17 PM