But are there other ways to have sex, so that having sex for a very long time (say much more than an hour) is possible, very enjoyable and intensely pleasurable? There are, and when I was younger I was, I guess, lucky enough to have been taught by a woman how to do that. She called it something else, but I just think of it as "slow sex" and it's really a great way to do it with the right person from time to time. If you are interested than I'll share something about it, but I'm not saying this is the best way, or it's for everybody, or anything like that - that's up to you.
Since I'm a man, I'll start with that perspective. One way to have sex for a very long time is for both partners to really slow down. If you slow down too much, then there is not enough stimulation to stay hard, but it's possible to slow way down so that there is just enough stimulation to stay very hard, and to give and receive a lot of pleasure at the same time. The trick to slowing way down is to learn to control your breathing while you are having sex. When you're feeling like you're getting too excited, just slow down and breathe through it. Sounds real easy, but it's not, and it takes practice to learn how to control your breathing in order to control your natural urge to speed up. But once you get the hang of it, and you will if you practice, trust me it's really worth it.
I'll share the woman's perspective as best as I can, and maybe there are other women on here that can comment more on it. When a man slows down, a woman's vagina lubricates faster than the friction depleting it. She gets wetter and wetter, and completely naturally. Not only does that make sex a lot more comfortable for her, making her vagina stretch and relax, but it also allows the man to speed up whenever he want too without generating more friction. When the man speeds up, a relaxed vagina has a natural reflex to squeeze itself around the man's penis, which feels really great for both him and her. This will eventually make her come, over and over, but without creating enough friction on his penis to make him come right away.
The other thing she taught me is that it's not just about thrusting in and out, which creates a ton of friction and depletes lubrication, but more about tightly joining your sexes together. Learning how to do that, and how to really feel each other deep inside like that, virtually eliminates the need to thrust at all. At that point sex becomes less physical and a lot more in your head, which is where it really lives to begin with. When you're joined tightly that way, the man's pubic bone is also pressing and gently grinding against a well lubricated clitoris, which will also make her come, over and over, but again without creating enough friction on his penis to make him come right away.
So you might ask yourself why doesn't everybody have sex this way if it's so great? Well for one thing, it's not as exciting to watch this kind of sex in a porn movie as it is to watch fast and deep thrusting sex, which seems to have become the "standard" for what good sex should be. For another, it does take a lot more intimacy to have the care and patience to do it this way, for both him and her, and I guess maybe that's not for everybody.
Would love to hear from anyone that has tried slow sex, or from anyone that decides to give it a try.
This post has been edited by jim4pleasure: Wed Oct 17, 2012 01:25 AM