Funny things she didn't know about sex
Posted Sat Nov 17, 2012 05:25 PM
The other night, wife says to me "great, I'm 39 and I didn't know shit like this was possible or existed".
What am I referring to? Well, two things actually.
First, we were watching a porn clip (she never watches or has watched porn) on our laptop laying in bed when the girl in the clip began squirting like crazy (yes, I picked this particular clip because I've been trying to get her to squirt). Her reaction was: "That's fucked up. That's not even real....(pause for effect before looking at me)...is it?". I said yes it was real and while not all can do it, many can.
The second instance was the same night. She was on top of me sliding my dick between her ass cheeks. I was just laying there expressionless when she asked what was wrong. I said "I really wish you'd let me slide it in your ass" and she replied "oh, but you are in my ass baby". Clearly I wasn't. I was between her ass cheeks and not in her ass. When we were done and laying in bed with her cuddled up to me, I found a short clip of a girl riding her man with his cock inside her ass. Her expressions was "holy fuck, how does she get that in there?". I asked what she meant...her reply was "I like a cock in the ass too but to have it actually inside you must hurt a lot".
So...at 39 she had no idea women could squirt and thought anal sex was a guy sliding his pole between her ass cheeks.
I wonder what I'll find out in the coming months and years. She is not a fan of porn and the only ones she has watched up to this point are the two short clips I mentioned above. I've rented and we've started watching a couple of full length ones (Red Shoe Diaries was one of them) but she never made it past the 2 minute mark before saying "let's just skip this and watch something else or I'm going to fall asleep".
Anyone else have any funny examples of your spouse not knowing something about sex until an older age?
Posted Sat Nov 17, 2012 06:17 PM
Posted Sat Nov 17, 2012 06:26 PM
Have you never even discussed it?
Posted Sat Nov 17, 2012 06:45 PM
Posted Sat Nov 17, 2012 08:21 PM
Posted Sat Nov 17, 2012 08:36 PM
anal sex - cracking up - sounds like a real good pun lol
Posted Sat Nov 17, 2012 11:40 PM
Nope. Been married for five years now. I never paid much attention to the anal thing figuring if she wanted it she would slide on and do it. Since she hadn't, I figured there was no way she wanted it. The night I asked if she was going to let me in, so to speak, she said "you already are babe" when I clearly was only between her cheeks and rubbing it from the outside.
Posted Sun Nov 18, 2012 08:18 AM
Posted Sun Nov 18, 2012 10:40 AM
One thing to be naive but another thing to be so sheltered. It's not like she never had plenty of sex before me but it must've been pretty meaningless quickies and one nighters with not much in the way of foreplay, experimentation. She is a control freak in bed so that would explain a lot of it I suppose.
Posted Sun Nov 18, 2012 11:35 AM
Posted Sun Nov 18, 2012 03:56 PM
Posted Sat Nov 24, 2012 07:13 AM
lol I used to think that when I was about 5. I remember 'finding it' when I was in the bath and telling my mum I was a boy but my willy was really tiny!
I don't remember her putting me right either, but she was always embarrassed about things like that.
Posted Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:26 PM
A few seconds later she blurts out "what the fuck is that? holy shit...that's sick! i've never seen or heard of that before! where did you come up with this one?"
Clearly, she leads a sheltered and somewhat sexually ignorant life. Getting her a Cosmo Magazine subscription for Christmas for starters and work my way up the risque chain as we go.
Thought I'd share...maybe I'll write a book about it! LOL
Posted Sun Nov 25, 2012 03:30 PM
Posted Sun Nov 25, 2012 11:28 PM
Posted Mon Nov 26, 2012 05:25 AM
Here are some others you can tell her about..
Posted Mon Nov 26, 2012 05:48 AM
You guys need to talk. Communication is really important to keep sex interesting.
Posted Mon Nov 26, 2012 07:53 AM
Here are some others you can tell her about.. ;)alt="">
Been there done that with the Pearl Necklace with her. She let me cum on her tits one time and I "accidentally" aimed a little too high and got her neck with the first couple of shots. She grimaced and I thought she was going to hyperventilate. Afterwards, I told her it was just a Pearl Necklace and she looked at me kind of weird until I googled it for her a few days later. Since then she has shook her head at the idea of another one.
She continues to amaze me when it comes to lack of terminology or even the fact that sex is supposed to be about adventure and fun instead of the same old thing every time.