Monogamy or Polyamory?
Posted Sun Dec 23, 2012 12:06 AM
So is sex better with a single committed partner who you make love to over and over again or is it better as a serial sequence of ONSs with a new partner every time?
Posted Sun Dec 23, 2012 12:18 AM
Posted Sun Dec 23, 2012 12:33 AM
Posted Sun Dec 23, 2012 02:05 AM
Well you're probably in the absolute best position to answer the question then! Can you elaborate on why you feel that way?
Posted Sun Dec 23, 2012 04:20 AM
with one night stands you don't know what to expect. you can end up with really bad sex or if you end up with really good sex it's still bittersweet because you're not gonna get it again. also i can't have "true" one night stands where i don't know the person beforehand because i just don't feel safe doing that and i don't think i'd get much out of it even if the guy was a great fuck. there's more to sex than just the bodies for me :)alt="">
also with one person you can improve on your sex life as it progresses but you can't really do that with a one time thing.
This post has been edited by saintnailpolish: Sun Dec 23, 2012 04:22 AM
Posted Sun Dec 23, 2012 04:49 AM
Posted Sun Dec 23, 2012 05:06 AM
I have no desire to run around having sex with as many people as possible. Sex is more than just sex to me, there is also a huge emotional part if it, I can't imagine getting that with a ONS.
Posted Sun Dec 23, 2012 07:58 AM
Posted Sun Dec 23, 2012 08:16 AM
Posted Sun Dec 23, 2012 08:27 AM
Posted Mon Dec 24, 2012 06:44 PM
Posted Mon Dec 24, 2012 06:44 PM
Posted Mon Dec 24, 2012 10:41 PM
Posted Thu Dec 27, 2012 05:11 PM
The anxiety of meeting her, making small talk, making the suggestion, overcoming her concerns about morning-after respect, health concerns, etc., choosing the place, deciding whether to dominate or surrender- all these and several other things swirl around the brain before we even get undressed.
For people who enjoy the chase, the newness, the act of seducing, of selling oneself (not literally- or maybe so)- one night stands have a specific appeal.
For those with a regular partner, who probably were relieved that they aren't still pushing their shopping cart down the aisles of bars, malls or their workplace, they have a dozen ways to say 'you wanna?' - maybe more - and seem to keep it fresh and interesting.
So, if it's a choice of shopping for sex repeatedly before getting sex, or just having sex repeatedly, a steady relationship seems preferable. But understand, a steady thing has its share of options and negotiations- you will never have sex-on-demand between two people who have their own lives, their own choices. Sex is what we get when all other parts of the relationship are in good working order. When there are problems, sex will be difficult, absent or with someone else.
Even with a prostitute, The seller thinks "I'm willing to put my feelings and my thoughts aside to make this money"; the buyer thinks "I'm willing to give this money in the hopes that I'll have a good time sexually", but they rarely have the same goal: the seller wants money, the buyer wants sex. Eventually, the buyer will try to get sex for less or no money, while the seller will try to get more money for less or no sex.
Having said all this, I'd prefer a friend-with-benefits, or fuck buddy, or whichever term you find comfortable. I don't see monogamy as a viable solution, and polyamory is fiction: think of what you perceive 'love' to be, outside of sex, and imagine giving that love to more than one person.
Then try rowing the English Channel with one arm...
This post has been edited by Scotty Wright: Thu Dec 27, 2012 05:15 PM
Posted Thu Dec 27, 2012 05:26 PM
and with different people, everyone is different, so you dont know what to expect.
Posted Thu Dec 27, 2012 08:59 PM
I enjoyed promiscuity in college, but much better now.
This post has been edited by Darth_Nam: Thu Dec 27, 2012 09:02 PM
Posted Sat Dec 29, 2012 10:26 AM
Posted Sat Dec 29, 2012 10:45 AM
Posted Sat Dec 29, 2012 11:07 AM
i agree with this comment bout ONS. the rush of ragin hormones on a regular basis with someone new every time would not enhance my sex life as much as somethin i can build on to last longah. i do like flirts and flings with a guy i can explore a bit furtha without introducin anotha in the mix. id probly go with one but theyd hafta be pretty damn special - not just sexually cuz i need more than sex alone.