Advice on how to perform a specific sexual act. I'm looking for tips or advice
Posted Thu Jan 17, 2013 11:58 AM
Now my girl friend and i have been together for at least eight years now,(we are both 28) and neither one of us are very sexually active, once every other week would be more then enough for me and once ever six to eight months would be plenty for her. It will generally cross our minds but we just never were really into sex. When i feel the need i have porn and she is fine with that.
Now that the background is covered; the issue I'm having is, we stumbled onto the idea of fooling around while the other is sleeping. Which is pretty entertaining seeing as how we can go so long with out sex, we never know when it could happen. She has done it to me once so far and it was quite enjoyable and shocking as she never initiated sex before, let alone when i was asleep.
Now my real problem is that i would like to do it to her but every time i think about it, I'm just not sure how to go about it. We are both a bit over weight, which isn't so much the issue as the way she sleeps. She sleeps in joggers pants, bikini style underwear and then a bra and shirt. I have no idea how to get access through all that with out waking her up before i would even get started. We do have some cheap water based lube and a "egg" style vibrator which is what i would plan to use but i worry that the cold lube would wake her up right away too.
So short of drugging her (which would be far beyond what i am willing to do anyway) I'm not really sure what else to try. One of these days i will just have to slowly try and just see what i can get away with before she wakes up. I would want her to wake up from the toy being used, not from me trying to wrestle my way down there to use it. Who knew trying to be sexually spontaneous could be so much work lol.
Anyway thanks for any tips or advice.
Posted Thu Jan 17, 2013 02:08 PM
Posted Thu Jan 17, 2013 02:34 PM
This post has been edited by SpookshowBaby: Thu Jan 17, 2013 02:35 PM
Posted Thu Jan 17, 2013 03:03 PM
Convince her to wear a nighty with no panties. If she's on her side, spoon her from the back. I often wake my wife up this way.
Posted Thu Jan 17, 2013 03:21 PM
Unfortunately she would never wear something like that. The reason she wears the joggers pants is because skin on skin contact makes her itch and she develops a slight rash so she has always slept in either pj bottoms or the jogger pants. Its not an instant thing but over night it would happen, i could buy her a dress or something like that but she would never wear it.
Its a good idea but sadly i guess its hard to give advice on the issue with out actually knowing her. I think my only saving grace is going to be that she sleeps on her stomach alot with her face buried in her pillows. If i can some how manage to get those pants down with out waking her i might have a chance at making it work. It was so much easier for her to do it to me, i sleep in baggy shorts with nothing under, pretty much boxers with out the front slit. All she had to do is reach in and start to work, i think i slept for about 15 to 20 minutes before i woke up and was shocked to find that she was laying naked next to me. I didn't even understand what was going on until that point and then it kind of clicked.
I think if this was an old acme cartoon i would be shown trying to sneak in a car jack and jacking up her legs to get access, and then we cant forget the scope on a wire just so i could find the right part in the dark. As for the pants, i think one of those black holes would work. Ah if only lol.
Thankfully she is only jumpy when she is awake; we are both gamers so the bedroom is never with out a laptop and normally we set it on my side of the bed when we are done watching videos or what ever. The little light that is on it will alot of times cast some shadows on the wall or ceiling and man she will jump when it moves from my hands or feet. Its kind of fun lol. Or at least one other time she was talking to her dad on the phone in the bedroom with the light off and i swear she was looking right at me when i walked in but it didn't register, so when i moved she screams on the phone and jumps, thankfully her dad didn't notice.
When she is asleep she just groans and rolls over, or gets very cranky, i think i would have to do this early on in her sleep before she sets into the "let me sleep or i kill you" mode. On the bright side if she in a dead sleep and i wake her up for some reason or another, she wont remember when she does finally wake up. So that could make it interesting.
Another thing i am considering is the use of synthetic melatonin. Again since we are heavy duty gamers our sleep patterns shift like the wind. One week we are up at 6 am, the next week we could be waking up at 6pm and it flips almost weekly. So the melatonin works wonders to get our selves back on the right schedule. The nice thing is its not a drug per say. It just makes you feel sleepy and helps you get to a deeper sleep or fall asleep faster. I know i said i wouldn't drug her but if she does it herself... lol if nothing else maybe it would help keep her asleep while i remove clothing.
Which might work out in the long run anyway because we have been thing of trying to use it to help her sleep through my strange sleeping sounds. I have a nasal issue where it will try to run when i sleep and make weird gurgle or popping sounds or it will choke me and i groan in my sleep. So maybe that could give me the opening. I am going to a doctor for that part at least just because the congestion i always have is a pain in the ass, and terrible during sex. Nothing quite like having to stop kissing because i have to gasp for air every five seconds.
As for your issue maybe try talking to him about it and then seeing if he would be willing to massage you, legs and ass to gradually wake you up rather then diving right in and triggering your panic button.
Posted Thu Jan 17, 2013 07:20 PM
Having said that, I've done this before so I'm gonna throw in my 2cents worth, and hopefully it'll help a little.
First I'd like to state the VERY obvious by saying, whatever you do, do it very slowly. yeah DUH right!?! What I'm really saying is: it's all part of the game. imo THIS is what makes the whole thing exciting.
I remember taking what felt like hours in the middle of the night trying to take my then GF's pants down just under her butt. Pulling down a tiny bit then stopping and listening to her breathing, pulling down, stopping, pulling down… Anyway, by the time I finally got to feel her skin, all the blood in my body would have drained down to my boner!
But before you even get to that, I would start by caressing her body VERY gently, and see how she reacts.
This will tell you approx how far asleep she is, and if she wakes up, well it's all good anyway, you can try some other night.
Second, I'd say forget about toys, at least to start with. Use your fingers. You need to know exactly how much pressure you're using. You need to feel your way through, and also feel the warmth & softness of the body when it's asleep. Again, take your time, it's all part of the game. Enjoy her moaning, heavy breathing and changes in positions, and work with it.
Third, I thing you're right about lube: too cold.
At this point you don't want a stupid little drop of lube ruining everything. Use saliva, lot's of it. It's a great lube and already at body temp.
Also remember if she's in deep sleep, all the muscles in her body should - in theory - be relaxed. All including the ones around her genitals and anus, which should make penetration a little easier than when awake (don't quote me on that!!!)
That's all I can think of for now. I hope this helps as I've only done this a couple of times, but let me tell you, it bring back great memories.
Good luck to the 2 of you!
PS: You previously mentioned the glow of a computer in the room. I'd personally try to get the room pitch black. Adrenaline and lack of vision will make all your other senses work 110%, thus enhancing the experience.
It's also been proven that sleeping in a room clean of electronic equipment is healthier and is a better sleeping environment, which my help her get to a deeper level of sleep.
Posted Thu Jan 17, 2013 08:34 PM
Thats some good info. As far as her pants go i think i will have to go little lower then just her butt, but past that point it should be easier. Like i said we are both a lil over weight so she has kind of thick thighs but hopefully that wont be too much of an issue once the pants are down a bit. I just hope she doesn't panic and try to get up and run, as funny as it would be to watch, she would kill me lol.
However i dont think i could use saliva as a lube, we both have a kind of aversion to it. But maybe i could warm the lube some how or what about the warming lube? The lube in itself may not even be required, all I'm going for is the clit in this case. However i did get an idea that could solve most of my problems.
A while back we experimented with using lotion and just going into an extreme body massage. Her reaction wasn't so much horny as extremely relaxed, almost passing out from it. Getting her back scratched or rubbed is like giving a cat catnip with her, and i make her get naked for it so i can do the full body. So if she fell asleep from that she would already be naked, and relaxed. Plus she needs to get her sleeping habits flipped around again so if she were to talk one of these melatonin pills that would put her into a good deep sleep (hell it makes me sleepy just thinking about it.) And then even if i didn't decide to wake her, it would still be a pretty enjoyable experience, i actually really enjoy doing that, i just wish she would let me do it with body oils. Never found out why but i really like how skin looks after its been worked with oil, nice and shiny.
Anyway thanks for the tips, we will see what happens next time i stay a few days at her apartment. Which is something i would like to do this week end, I'm getting puppy on the second and i don't want to leave her here by herself for that long of a time, so i may not get another chance for a while after that. (My girlfriends apartment complex wont allow dogs.)