What exactly is a date?
Posted Wed Mar 06, 2013 05:42 PM
What exactly is a date? And what makes it so scary? I have a bit of an idea after reading forums, books and watching American movies, but I'm not sure I really understand. Because the idea I have in my mind of what a date is, it isn't scary.
The thing I know from experience is just going out with people. But a date seems to be something different. What is it?
Posted Wed Mar 06, 2013 09:50 PM
American dating culture is really kind of funny. I'm not so sure it's smart, but it's not without its redeeming qualities.
To answer your question, and perhaps to over simplify it, a date is rendezvous with someone at a pre-arranged place at a pre-arranged time for the principal purpose of developing a long term romantic relationship if the date is mutually enjoyable and both parties feel they are compatible. It is generally not anticipated that the long term serious relationship begins at the conclusion of the first date...it is usually something that develops over time and a span of a multitude of dates.
Do not take this info as infallible, as many different approaches to "dating" exist. Many people are "serial" daters, meaning they never enter into a long term exclusive relationship or even a serious "open" relationship...they just keep things superficial and easy. Likewise, there are a few who get uber-serious very quickly....so there is a broad interpretation to dating and how it is done.
Posted Thu Mar 07, 2013 03:04 AM
to me a date should be fun and free. it is an easy way to test the waters how much ya have in common with somebody. also imo a 'bad' date isnt necessarily a bad thing. in my experience i generally go out with a bunch of people in groups and from there if somethin develops i may begin to spend more time alone with a guy which just naturally ends up us 'datin' but not in formal fashion.
Posted Thu Mar 07, 2013 08:06 AM
The reason it's traumatic is that it is essentially like having a relationship interview/interrogation. For guys, if they say/do the right things, then they may get sex, for some women (the type who put a lot of pressure into a date) they're looking for a soul mate/husband. Whichever they want more.
Personally, I consider the dating ritual to be a waste of time, you either like someone or you don't, and the game playing is pointless. I can't remember the last time I went on a "date" with a guy, because I would rather take the pressure off and just enjoy each other's company and what comes of it, comes of it.
Posted Thu Mar 07, 2013 09:03 AM
I wonder if a man has ever been nervous about going out with me. My husband surely wasn't, since I've asked him to move in with me the day we met.
Posted Thu Mar 14, 2013 10:09 AM
Posted Sat Mar 16, 2013 05:20 PM