Stopped having sex relationship problemo
Posted Wed Mar 27, 2013 03:41 PM
Posted Wed Mar 27, 2013 04:11 PM
1.) Communicate about it. This is the most popular advice, though not the one I'd choose. Sadly, it can sometimes lead to indirect and aimless answers responses from women who might feel like you're attacking them or probing them, thus the potential for what may or may not be a constructive conversation becoming a point of conflict. Some chicks don't mind telling you why they really don't want to have sex with you...some chicks don't like talking about it and prefer to avoid the heavy and awkward topic. (conflict aversion, and whatnot)
2.) Deal with it. She doesn't want to have sex. You do. Accept that she doesn't want to have sex and live your life with her as is. Sucks for you, works for her...and that does works for some people.
3.) Agree to an open relationship. Kind of pointless to have an S.O. that you don't have sex with while having sex with others. Traditional types have a name for that : Being friends. But then again, that also works for some people.
4.) Dump her and find a chick that wants to have sex with you. This is my personal preference. Skip the BS and the brain damage of trying to get someone to tell you something they don't want to tell you and you probably don't want to hear. By dumping her and getting another chick, you satisfy all parties involved. The chick who doesn't want to have sex with you doesn't have to deal with you trying to have sex with or and then asking why she wont...you don't have to deal with being with a chick that doesn't want to have sex with you...it's win-win. And if the same sex-stopping pattern emerges with the new chick, do it again. Wash, rinse, repeat. It's literally win-win.
This post has been edited by ilyushin: Wed Mar 27, 2013 04:13 PM
Posted Fri Mar 29, 2013 01:32 AM
Posted Fri Mar 29, 2013 10:54 AM
Could it be that your sex life just too routine? Try romancing her like you did when you first met, taking her out somewhere nice, as if on date night without the expectation that you are going to get laid immediately after. Everyday make sure you are attentive to her needs - non-sexual - honestly listening to her, doing your share of the household chores including cooking. When you try initiating sex - chg it up from your normal - make sure she is the center of the world right then and you are there to make her happy (because you should be). Don't get caught up in your needs - make sure you are fulfilling all of hers as a priority (but not just checking the boxes down a list of what-to-do's).
Let us know how things go for you two.
Posted Sun Mar 31, 2013 06:27 PM
I really do wish that us women were as simple as men.
Posted Sun Mar 31, 2013 06:50 PM
Posted Tue Apr 02, 2013 01:21 PM
Posted Tue Apr 02, 2013 01:45 PM
Posted Sun Apr 14, 2013 08:48 AM
For all the people who suggest spicing things up or other lighthearted ideas that's great but you're missing the point. Communication is the problem here you either fix it or move on.
Posted Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:15 PM
Posted Fri Apr 26, 2013 04:34 AM
When you have everything clear and know what you want; then it's time to discuss it with her. When you do don't just spring it on her out of the blue; it would probably be best to tell her that you need to talk to her, and set up a time when you are both rested and have nothing pressing to do. Try to keep the conversation calm and don't attack her. Tell her how you feel about her and the relationship, and really listen to what she has to say. If things start getting heated take a step back, and don't fall into the argument trap. Don't expect to resolve everything in one sit down. You should probably let her digest and think about what has been said, but you do need to set a time to return to the discussion. You will need to come to a mutually acceptable solution. I don't mean setting up a schedule for sex; because then it just becomes a job.
Good luck to you both.
Posted Mon May 06, 2013 11:07 AM
If for some reason nothing works, my advice is to re-asses how important sex is to you in a relationship.
I am in a sexless marriage, it happened slowly over time and I tried everything mentioned in these posts plus more. If I had gazed into a crystal ball after our first date, there would never have been a second. I did not realise how important sex and physical intimacy was to me until I lost it. Friends tell me I am no longer the fun, happy, self confident, sexy woman I used to be. It is amazing just how much the sense of daily rejection and lack of any affection, can affect how I feel.
Now, you may be a stronger person than I and able to cope with a sexless relationship without it affecting who you are. Therefore able to find happiness in a relationship and find many other pleasures that will surpass physical needs. There are many out there that can. But if you doubt this and you're unable to discover what the problem is and resolve it with your partner - consider leaving, parting as good friends while you can, before you make a bigger commitment you may feel obliged to remain in or unwilling to break. Instead, find someone that is not only the great friend and partner, but is also better sexually compatible.
But like I said, if you feel she is the one for you, don't give up too easily, sometimes things do work, if you work for them.
Best of luck.
Posted Wed Jul 10, 2013 09:01 AM
Posted Fri Jul 12, 2013 11:21 PM
Posted Fri Aug 30, 2013 07:29 AM
Also find what ignites her desires.