Cannot be the only one? New feeling and desires
Posted Mon Aug 05, 2013 08:24 AM
Posted Mon Aug 05, 2013 10:02 AM
There are plenty of good stories involved with guys in our boat. Read some posts or ask more questions.
Have you tried, what have you considered?
Posted Mon Aug 05, 2013 04:35 PM
Posted Mon Aug 05, 2013 05:33 PM
I can certainly relate to where you are. I've known I was gay, or at least way toward the gay end of the sexual spectrum, since I was a boy. After a few brief encounters and relationships with men, I "did the right thing" and got married. I love my wife and family dearly, and will never leave them, but after decades of loneliness and lack of fulfillment, I decided I wasn't going to continue to live without a man.
I met my boyfriend three years ago, and I could not be happier. Yes, he's married, too, with a family. And he loves his wife and family dearly, too. But gay men have to have men in their lives, to be happy, to be fulfilled, and, oh yeah, to have sex with! I'm not one of the type you might see here - "I love the cock, but nothing else." No, I love everything about him - his handsome face, his furry chest, his strong thighs, his great ass that I love to grope while I blow him, the way he kisses, the way his tongue explores my mouth, his big hands on my ass as he takes aim at my prize, the way his big, thick cock opens me, fills me, and drives me to ecstasy, the way his sweat drips off his face onto my back as he fucks me in the ass, the way he holds me close after making love to me...
I'm madly in love with him, and he's madly in love with me. We both know we're incredibly lucky to have found each other, and we know, without a doubt, that we were made for each other, that we were made to be together.
He brings me a comfort, a peace, a sense of belonging, a profound and deep fulfillment, and I bring the same to his life. Yes, I'm his complete, total, and utter cockslut, and he knows it, but that's okay. I have him completely and totally pussy-whipped, and he happily admits it.
As I've told him on many occasions, because of him, I'm finally happy I'm gay.
It was a long, lonely road, but because of where I've wound up, I'm happy I've traveled it. If I can answer any questions or concerns you might have, I'd be more than happy to.
This post has been edited by Nicky60: Mon Aug 05, 2013 05:34 PM
Posted Tue Aug 06, 2013 08:32 AM
Posted Tue Aug 06, 2013 12:51 PM
Posted Tue Aug 06, 2013 02:40 PM
I'd like to suggest that you might not know quite what you're capable of, or quite what stimulates and fulfills you, until you wind up in that situation. Don't do yourself the disfavor of "putting up walls" before even starting. I can offer that you never know who you might fall in love with - ask me how I know! If you found yourself in the arms of the right man, the one who arouses you physically and emotionally, you just may not be able to keep yourself from kissing him!
A real cock, attached to a real man, is far more enjoyable than a dong or dildo. The reasons are many: warm, aroused flesh and blood; hands on the sides of your head, caressing you, as you blow him; a dildo can't say, "Oh, yeah, babe, suck my dick!", and many, many more.
But take note of your own hard cock - when stiff, yes, the shaft and root are relatively unyielding. But the head, or about the first inch or so of overall length, is soft, spongy, and a true delight to suck on. When a real cock slips past the back of your tongue, that spongy head nudges the back of your mouth, and it slips down your throat quite easily, if you've mastered your gag reflex.
Posted Tue Aug 06, 2013 11:19 PM
Posted Wed Aug 07, 2013 07:52 AM
Does she know the extent of your desires and use of toys on yourself, or does she just think you jerk off.
Having her as willing or encouraging partner will ease your apprehensions and make your experience better. Finding someone who feels the same is a tough call. Do you have another older married or single friend who Might be sharing similar feelings? You can touch on the subject indirectly , which could lead to some mature conversation. Even approach the subject as a male health matter. "How do you maintain sexual health and satifaction in a non sexual marraige?" Discuss suggestions and alternatives to a life of jerking off.
Do you have any gay or openly bi friends who you could have a conversation with?
Posted Wed Aug 07, 2013 09:09 AM
No friends, I am honest with no bull shit so I say things to piss off guys. I have known gay guys and have been sexually approached by a few but that was years ago. (If my opened up feelings were there at those times, than yes I would have become BI.) Wife does the shopping while I do my best to keep our home from falling apart so the opportunities to meet just aren't there. I take nightly walks around the area but only meet dogs. Our dog is a female Saint Bernard so even the stray dogs do not approach and talk to me. "Top", about sixteen years ago when my wife went through her change she became a doctor and a cop all at once. She went from a horny, screw at every chance best friend to a stone wall overnight. Her announcement was as follows: "I do not want sex anymore and you do need sex either"! No doubt she feels that if I find someone just for sex she will loose me for good. Hell guys, who would want an old man to stay with them? I look in the mirror and scare myself. I have told her many times that I will not fizzle out and not desire sex without getting something to remember. Something will be done, it has been too long and I refuse to sit back and wait for me to go senile. She just stares at me with those daggers in her eyes. She is not like your wife at all. She will do anything for me except sex. I am sure it is because of the oral she got. Not bragging, but most women do not receive that so she thinks if I was with another woman the woman would take me for her own. As far as men, do not think that has entered her mind. But that would still be sex of course. Yes she knows I have toys and she just wants me to keep it to myself. When she was active a couple were used on her and it was fine. But now they are terrible things to her?
Well lets see what else. After I have enjoyed an anal toy and have completely cleaned it of any extra material and any germs I have used it orally. Germs, germs, germs, I will get sick and die. Not yet. After all they are my own germs. Because of cost and having lube arrive by mail I have gone a different route. I thought about household items and settled on a product that works fine for me. I have used it for years with no bad results. Of course it is used anally only.
Posted Wed Aug 07, 2013 10:13 AM
Regarding safe sex, there are offices in every city that do confidential, no-names-asked, HIV and STD screening. You could, as a first step, get yourself tested, and keep that paper with you showing you're clean. When you meet a man who excites you, ask him to get tested, or go in and get tested together.
Before I met my boyfriend, I was petrified at the thought of anonymous, no-strings sex - the fear of being discovered, the fear of STD's, the fear that all these fears might cause a "failure to launch," if you know what I mean...
But when I met him, all those fears melted away. We were both instantly at ease and comfortable with each other, and of course found each other wonderfully handsome and sexually attractive. After meeting in person for a casual lunch, and spending a half-hour away from the crowds to talk candidly about desires, needs, etc., we talked on the phone like giddy teenagers every day for over a week until we were able to meet at his home. I had warned him in advance of my shy, rather unassuming nature when it came to sex, and that my apprehensions and inhibitions might lead me to try to back out at the last - and worst - possible moment.
"Don't worry," he told me on the phone. "I'm a very assertive, maybe even aggressive, and when I see what I want, I take it. And I know I want you. You won't even have time to think about backing out!"
He was right! His assertive, aggressive, all-masculine alpha-male nature in bed meshes perfectly with my shy, submissive, feminine nature. That first meeting at his house was a blur! He led me by the hand upstairs to the bedroom as soon as I walked in the door, and he was stripping before I even sat down on the bed. In seconds, he was naked, and that big, hard cock of his - oh, fuck, that's a big cock! - was inches from my face! Inhibitions, apprehensions, gone! My hands were all over his big cock and balls, and before I had a chance to ask myself if I was doing the right thing, I was sucking his gorgeous dick.
After sucking his cock for a moment or two, he had an urgent need to get me naked. My clothes joined his on the floor, and, after taking a minute to admire my rather small, bikini underwear, my dick was in his mouth.
We sucked each other off that day, but, mindful of safe sex, and mindful that we were just getting to know each other, we didn't cum in each others' mouths. But after that first sexual encounter, we both knew we wanted and needed more. We met a few more times for sex and to have dinner together, and, only two weeks after our first encounter, we began to realize, and we told each other honestly, that we were falling in love.
I was falling in love with him, and he was falling in love with me. He hadn't fucked me yet - that was something I hadn't offered, yet - but he wanted to desperately, and after a few weeks, I told him I was ready. His cock was so big! I'll admit to some lingering apprehension! That first time, it was a struggle, for him and for me, to get that thick cock into my tight ass. But he was gentle, loving, and careful, and when he was inside me, I knew: this is where I was meant to be; this is what I had dreamed of and longed for in all those years of loneliness; this is what I needed to complete me, to bring me the peace and comfort I desperately craved; this is who I am.
I know, it all sounds mushy and metaphysical, but it's true!
After that, we had anal sex every time we'd meet, sometimes twice, and my tight ass, thanks to my lover's unwavering commitment and the yeoman's work of his magnificent dick, slowly became a more willing point of entry, so to speak. His greatest love, the act which brings him the most pleasure and fulfillment, by far, is fucking me in the ass. He always used a condom, and we still had not swallowed each others' semen. We were still practicing "safe sex." But after another month or so, we knew we were in love, we knew we were now a couple, we were committed to each other, and we knew we would never violate each others' trust. We were ready to devote ourselves to each other, to do away with anything that came between us that impeded total and complete intimacy. It was time to get tested.
We both got tested at a confidential testing office, of the type I mentioned earlier. After we both received our test results, we arranged to meet at a discreet hotel, to have an enjoyable evening of sex. Once in the room together, we showed each other our papers - we both were clean! As each of us knew and expected, but it was important to show that trust between us. I was already stripped down to my purple lace panties, and he was beautifully naked.
We stood there together and kissed deeply, and let the papers fall to the floor. He broke our kiss first, grabbed the lube, and began lubing up that big, bare dick. And that vision of him lubing up his bare dick was not lost on me. One more apprehension was about to fall. He turned me around to face the wall, and spread my legs by pushing my ankles apart with his feet the way a cop would do to a suspect (remember that assertive and aggressive nature of his?) There I was, standing against the wall, hands and feet spread like a common perp, as he tugged my panties aside. I felt the lubed head of his cock nuzzle wetly between my cheeks, searching for my opening. He's only one inch taller than I, so his legs were slightly bent as he took aim at my prize. As his hard dick nudged against my hole, I turned my head around toward him.
"Are you going to use a condom, babe?" I whispered.
My best friend, my handsome man, my boyfriend, my lover, wrapped one big arm around my chest as his other hand reached underneath, cupping my own hard cock and balls in my panties. I felt his breath on my neck as he embraced me tightly against that wall.
"No," he whispered in reply as he straightened his legs, driving upward and forward, sinking eight inches of two-inch-thick penis into me in one powerful, glorious thrust.
We left condoms behind, and in the three years since, he has fucked me well over a hundred times, cumming in my ass freely, and I take his sweet loads willingly and eagerly. Further, we both love the taste, warmth, and feel of semen in our mouths, and when we suck each others' dicks, we always suck to delightful, mouth-filling completion, and we always swallow!
Posted Wed Aug 07, 2013 10:16 AM
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Posted Thu Aug 08, 2013 07:56 AM
Posted Fri Aug 09, 2013 07:53 AM
Posted Sat Aug 10, 2013 07:13 AM
Sounds like you are well adjusted in life. Good for you and enjoy what you can when you can. It's a huge shock when it comes to a halt.
Posted Sat Aug 10, 2013 10:18 AM
If you're looking to complete your sexual and emotional life with a man, there are men out there in your situation. Before I met my boyfriend, I was one of those men, and he was, too. If you PM me, I can suggest a place to go look.
All the best.
Posted Tue Sep 03, 2013 11:40 AM
From mostly the straight side of the spectrum, but thinking about men from time to time. I haven't had any sort of experience with another male since my teen years.
I haven't read the other posts yet, I'll just share my thinking. I don't think that I am at all interested in anonymous encounters. I would really have to know the man, and feel that I like him at least as a friend. The feeling must be mutual. I think that if we both had some good feelings toward each other, and both felt like we should act on it, then we should. I would hope that our sex would be more based upon our friendship and feelings than on just "getting off."
The real rough stuff turns me off. I really like romantic sex with women, erotic and fun. So I guess that I would have to go that way with a man too. None of this "pounding each other stuff." A lot of touching and holding and pleasing each other.
The fact that I know and care for my friend well also deals with the other issues, such as STD's, expectations, feelings and so on. We would have a good sense of each others sexual history to know if we needed to have testing, use a lot of protection and so on. We would also know and hopefully have talked about what our expectations are of each other, and how our other partners (female and male) fit into the picture.
I guess I wouldn't mind if my friend was on the far gay side of the spectrum. But I would expect that he would respect my feelings and the direction that I lean and not try and force or demand some sort of commitment or identification on me other than what I am. I have met a number of gay men and became friends, only to have a sort of desperation emerge from them - "do you really truly think that you are straight, Nice guy, or maybe you really are gay and just haven't admitted it to yourself yet." That one's a friendship deal-breaker for me. I really think that I am comfortable with my sexuality right where it is. I learned long ago that we exist on a sexual identity spectrum. And that a lot more of us ARE bisexual than we care to admit. I suspect that the truly purely gay and truly purely straight is actually a very small proportion of the population.
I know that this sounds high-minded and maybe an unrealistic ideal. But I have to be true to my feelings. I think that's all that anyone can do.
Posted Tue Sep 03, 2013 12:09 PM
I'm really thinking out loud here, and my thoughts on the sexuality spectrum (a lot more of us are bi than we are willing to admit), leads me to think that a lot of us have feelings toward both genders. But we as a society have made it intolerable for anyone to express or act on those feelings.
Perhaps your wife has a lot of repressed feelings toward women, but it comes out as sexual rejection of you, hidden behind all of the excuses that she mentioned.
Long-distance psychoanalysis of you and your wife concluded. I'm really not a psychiatrist, I only play one on television.