Still love my wife but...
Posted Fri Aug 23, 2013 04:27 PM
Posted Fri Aug 23, 2013 07:54 PM
Posted Fri Aug 23, 2013 08:05 PM
That's my thought anyway.
Posted Fri Aug 23, 2013 09:08 PM
Posted Fri Aug 23, 2013 10:17 PM
Point is, take care of the relationship or it could go down the road mine went down. It was not fun, it was expensive, my career perished, and I make literally less than half what I used to. Think long and hard before acting on that urg.
Posted Fri Aug 23, 2013 11:39 PM
Posted Sat Aug 24, 2013 09:23 AM
Posted Tue Aug 27, 2013 06:25 PM
i definitely agree with your comments and i you're definitely pointing out something valuable that a lot of people on this site seem to forget.
Posted Fri Aug 30, 2013 09:03 PM
Posted Sat Aug 31, 2013 01:24 PM
Posted Thu Sep 05, 2013 05:41 AM
this is gross and bad advice.
Posted Fri Sep 06, 2013 11:44 PM
Posted Sat Sep 07, 2013 02:09 AM
Posted Sat Sep 07, 2013 04:23 AM
I'm in a very open relationship. It means my beloved husband can fuck, flirt, bring home, whatever, any woman (or man) he wants. He's under no demand from my part to ask my permission beforehand, nor to tell me things after they happen if he doesn't feel like. And I may do the same. We're also happy to share our love with others, so, one of our most present partners is my ex-SO, a man I love very much. There is also a woman (my piano guru) we see as often as we can and she's a lot more than just a fuck for both of us.
If the relationship is really open, and if your wife has a good sex drive, she'll be meeting more partners and fucking more than you. Unless the man is into having sex with prostitutes, it is much easier for a woman to find men who wanna fuck her than for men to find women who wanna fuck him. Therefore, before embarking on it, you should learn to be self-sufficient in the house and good at baby sitting your child, so that your wife can have her "me-and-another/other man/men" time without worrying about household and child caring chores.
If you can picture yourself and your wife being happy enjoying this kind of lifestyle, and if you think she's also wishing for it, talk to her.
Open relationships work well for people who lack the jealousy-gene.
People who claim you would only go for it if you didn't love your partner and/or if your sex life at home wasn't good are generalizing and all generalizations are, by definition, side effect of ignorance. I have no prejudice towards monogamous/exclusive relationships. They're just not for me, as I am sure our type of relationship isn't for everybody.
There are also other kinds of open relationships, the ones with limits. I'll leave that to be discussed by people who have more experience with limits.
Posted Thu Oct 03, 2013 04:42 PM
I think you need to look more closely at the OP's profile!
Terry, as a married man (to a woman) who also happens to be gay, I can understand being in a relationship that by all outward signs might appear perfect, yet leaves you with needs that are unfulfilled. All I can do is wish you and your wife the very best as you confront this difficult road.
Posted Sat Oct 05, 2013 05:08 PM
... I think you need to look more closely at the OP's profile!...
Oops, thanks Nicky for pointing that out and my apologies to the OP. I saw wife and son and jumped to the wrong conclusion. I'll hold to the essence of my thought though in that if we say we love someone and they are not interested in open relationships we should stay true to them. If we decide to cheat or leave I question how deep that love really is. I suggest that if we decide to cheat or bail the one we are really loving is our self which is fine but we should at least be honest with our self and stop with the delusion that we love our family so deeply that we would be so willing to hurt them.
This post has been edited by dine69: Sat Oct 05, 2013 05:17 PM
Posted Sat Oct 05, 2013 05:57 PM
I agree with this completely. Some people get offended by this kind of honesty. Call a spade and a spade and stop demanding that others believe that it's not a pursuit of self-interest and that it's not going to hurt people who've done nothing wrong (like children we bring into this world) in order to attain it.
If you're willing to hurt others to gain the experience of having sex with different chicks, do as you see fit...come what may. Only you can decide for yourself if banging other chicks is worth being the kind of guy who would do that. As for why we make the promise to love and honor someone "for better or worse" and reneging on it because "dammit, that woman has a nice pair of tits!" Is just part of the faulty human condition... Good luck, OP...it's gonna be a struggle for you either choice you make.
Posted Sun Oct 13, 2013 11:27 PM
You didn't say anything about the physical side of your marriage - are your needs being met? Is this just a wandering eye, a need for variety or maybe a polyamorous nature peeking out? Do you know why you are having these ideas?
With the little information you gave it's hard to give good advice, any advice people give is going to be mostly projection of their own situations.
For example: I was in a sexless marriage with someone I loved, the first few years was infrequent sex and after our child was born the sex dropped to zero. I did a lot of soul searching and after 6 years of forced and unwilling celibacy I opted to end the marriage. My personal experience was that my whole life opened up, my job took off, my child's emotional and school problems remedied and I'm now with a woman who is way more compatible with me on all levels, emotional, physical and spiritual. It's been an amazing couple of years, I so wish I had of left way sooner. You can't force something to be what it isn't - I tried everything in my power to keep my marriage happy and connected, but it takes two people working on things and even then sometimes you are with the wrong person and you don't know it until you've been married to them for years.