Why cant I talk?
Posted Thu Aug 29, 2013 10:46 PM
Not sure if this is the right place to post this or not.
But i've had it. Why cant I speak to people? Whether on the streets or if anyone tried to start a conversation with me. I was at a bar. My close friend intorduced me to his other friends and all of a sudden its like i am unable to speak. Why do I freeze like this. I spend 30 minutes thinking if there is anything to say or not. Usually its like i dont know anything AT ALL and i cant join in conversations or start them.
This is really bothering me.
Posted Fri Aug 30, 2013 12:32 AM
Posted Fri Aug 30, 2013 11:31 PM
Posted Fri Aug 30, 2013 11:52 PM
sometimes i'll find myself doing that. though i've pretty much came to the realization that most questions don't need an answer and most statements don't need a reply.
This post has been edited by naturalcolors: Fri Aug 30, 2013 11:56 PM
Posted Sat Aug 31, 2013 08:06 AM
When you are first meeting someone, it's best to keep the talk light. Don't get into the serious stuff at first. Ask about the other person, but don't forget to share a few things about yourself as well. If you do nothing but ask questions, it can start to feel like an interrogation.
Posted Sat Aug 31, 2013 08:51 AM
I like people that are watchers as they are the ones that usually get the most rounded impression of new people that they meet and when they feel ready to join in, then they do.
Don't beat yourself up about it, its not a bad thing, i'd say it gives you the tools to be a really good judge of character. People are often more interested in the group member that doesn't say as much as they will want to ask more to get you to speak. Thats good as they'll be genuinely interested in what you have to say.
Posted Sat Aug 31, 2013 12:03 PM
Until one guy had the strength to talk to me first and during the talk I found myself comfortable and opening up.
My close friend intorduced me to his other friends and all of a sudden its like i am unable to speak. Why do I freeze like this. I spend 30 minutes thinking if there is anything to say or not. Usually its like i dont know anything AT ALL and i cant join in conversations or start them.
Don't let that bother you. You have close friend, too. And I'm sure you talk most of the times... We just need to feel some connection with the person we are talking with. If not, don't push yourself too much.
Have a nice day.
Posted Sat Aug 31, 2013 01:43 PM
But when it comes to being interestrd in someone. Not being able to say anything is a porblem lol.
Posted Mon Sep 09, 2013 06:52 PM
why cant ya talk? i know when i hesitate its becuz in my head i worry what someone will think of me (mainly that im stupid) but really what is the worse that can happen.. i would ratha a conversation that halts than one that doesnt start. i agree with the above, it can be simple, silly not serious .. keep it light and listen to pick up on whats in the present moment, dont dwell on whats next.
this doesnt sound uncommon but maybe i can offah a bit of advice if this is botherin ya. talk to yaself.. try talkin 2 minutes about one topic to get comfortable holdin a conversation, record yaself.. at a bar play pool or darts where ya dont hafta say alot but mix it with action, music is good - talk about the song playin or band.. etc.
topics that often cum up for me: what great/bad weatha were havin, have ya seen this latest movie, what are ya plans for the weekend, how is work, what do ya do, comment on clothes, smile, eyes .. what are ya drinkin (if its a beer dont ask becuz that is obvious lol).
fwiw (if ya want) discuss it with ya close friend and say idk why but sometimes i feel on the spot when we meet new people, be cool if ya could help me out so i dont seem so shy and can join in the fun. if had a friend who i knew froze like ya, id make the extra effort to include stories and stuff givin ya an openin to jump onboard. and if its with a girl, he should be willin to be a wingman.
Posted Mon Sep 09, 2013 10:13 PM
Men are easy to talk to... It's women I have the biggest problem with... Lol. But I know how most women are... They can be scary as hell!
I also suffer from extreme low self-esteem. But I'm working on it.... SF helps with the kind words they leave me on my pictures.
Just know you aren't alone... Sorry I don't have any good advice to give to stop suffering from this problem... I'm trying to work on it too.
This post has been edited by KateO: Mon Sep 09, 2013 10:15 PM
Posted Sat Sep 21, 2013 07:43 PM