Little to no sex life!
Posted Mon Jan 20, 2014 02:48 PM
Just signed up here for some general advice.
We are a young couple, 21 & 23 and have been together three years. At the start of the relationship we had a great sex life, like many people should at that age but as time has gone on it has gradually got worse.
At the moment we might have sex once a month and it's basically because of the sake of it, nothing really to it.
The problem seems to be the tablets my girlfriend has to take on a regular basis, one side effect is a reduced sex drive. Not saying we cant have sex ever again but we need to find something what gets it going again rather than the same old.
We are fairly open in our relationship and never really have arguments or have broke up etc, quite a solid relationship. We have had a couple of threesomes with another guy which she loves and it really turns her on but we cant do this every time we want to have sex!
We are at the point now where we cant really think of anything else to spice the relationship up and get her sex drive back, nothing really turns her on so she has no intention of having sex. When we first met both our sex drive was excellent but hers has just decreased massively and we need to get it back.
Any advice please?
Posted Mon Jan 20, 2014 04:25 PM
However the fact that she. as you put it Loves the 3sum with another guy would seem to indicate the the problem may be more to do with your bedroom activities lacking excitement, try doing something different, make love outside, on the kitchen table, in the toilets of a restaurant.
Or try some role playing, live out her fantasy.
Posted Tue Jan 21, 2014 05:53 AM
I did initially think the problem was with me but she has said it's not, she just doesn't want to do it all all with anyone!
She likes male attention whether it be from pics, videos or threesomes and I think having a threesome was a big jump from both of us doing it so it really got her going again.
It's like nothing really turns her on any more and we need to find what does so that it hopefully kicks it off again..
Thanks for getting back.
Posted Tue Jan 21, 2014 06:29 AM
Sounds as if her equipment is working fine, but her libido is just suppressed enough so that she does not initiate any sexual acts. Since she likes threesomes...but not normal married sex.....try some stuff, like role play, porn, light bondage, dressing up, sex toys, etc. Maybe she is just bored? Experiment around and see if you CAN turn her on.
Doc can check her hormones...maybe the drugs she takes is suppressing them, and they can accurately test for that, and either adjust her meds, or add hormone pills or pellets.
Posted Tue Jan 21, 2014 07:08 AM
Doctor confirmed that the tablets she takes have this side effect but did not offer any change or additional medication unfortunately.
We both know what things typically turn her on (or used to!), will see how things go this week after we have had another talk..
Posted Tue Jan 21, 2014 07:49 AM
Posted Tue Jan 21, 2014 08:00 AM
Posted Tue Jan 21, 2014 10:51 AM
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Posted Tue Jan 21, 2014 12:16 PM
Posted Wed Jan 22, 2014 08:14 AM
We have had a talk and we think its basically due to stress and not having enough time to really enjoy each other.
We are moving abroad for good in 7 weeks and think this is a fresh start. We are at current living with my parents as we only moved home last year to keep on top of business. Obviously not an ideal situation, probably why most of our threesomes or sex has been when travelling or in hotels for meets etc..
I THINK we may have managed to get things sorted now and are going to write a list out this evening off things to try before we leave. We have discussed a few things from having days out to having another threesome or going to a swingers club.
It appears things got on top of us both and we did not have time to enjoy each other and have time together. Hopefully now we can and it will get better.
Will keep you all updated
Posted Wed Jan 29, 2014 06:46 AM
This post has been edited by spud14: Wed Jan 29, 2014 06:50 AM
Posted Wed Jan 29, 2014 11:13 AM
The thing I've taken the liberty to make red: my guess is that she finds the sex between the two of you boring. I'd work on that.
Though is perfectly find for a couple to enjoy group sex, if that's the only way they can light the fire, my guess is that sex between them (only the two of them) is boring.
Posted Thu Jan 30, 2014 12:35 AM
You look fantastic.
This post has been edited by ilyushin: Thu Jan 30, 2014 12:36 AM
Posted Thu Jan 30, 2014 05:57 AM
Posted Thu Jan 30, 2014 06:15 PM
Posted Mon Feb 03, 2014 07:49 PM
The only thing I can suggest is toys, lotions, massages, etc. Every time he buys me a new toy, it's like our relationship has started over.
Trust me, I know sex can seem like a chore, especially if you guys have been together a long time. Just try to work on it.
Also, I have been reading some AWESOME sexual books. Gets me in the mood without even having to touch me. LOL! If she is a reader and has spare time, tell her to start reading!
Posted Thu Feb 06, 2014 04:53 PM
I am hoping that for you folks once you have your own place it will help you folks out.
Posted Thu Feb 06, 2014 05:23 PM