We have been dating for over 7 years. I shower regularly and am completely shaved. I know that I have no problems down there because I've tasted myself multiple times. I even suck his and my cum off of his dick after we have sex. During the first 6 years I never came when we were together. After a huge argument 1.5 years ago, in which i told him how used and ugly he made me feel, he agreed to give renewed effort to our sex life. Since then I've received oral a handful of times and he has made me orgasm once. He always apologizes after I express my unhappiness and promises to change.
During a typical sexual encounter we take off our clothes. I go down on him or jack him off while he plays with my tits and sucks on them. He nudges me with his dick or pushes at my opening; 5 minutes pass. At this point I usually realize that the foreplay has ended. Either I grab the lube or we have extremely painful dry sex. If I grab the lube then I'm able to masturbate myself to orgasm while he thrusts away and he usually waits for me to cum before he finishes (this is a new development after another big argument. Usually he would orgasm and leave me hanging). If I don't grab the lube then I lay there, holding back tears, hoping he'll finish quickly.
We actually had a dry encounter like this last month. I made little noises to encourage him to finish (tried not to cry etc.) but he caught on to my distress and asked if he was hurting me. I feel that at this point any normal man would put some effort into foreplay so that he could get back to the sex. But my boyfriend just pulled out and got dressed. I got quiet after that and he asked what was wrong. I told him that he knew exactly what was wrong as we've had this argument before, and the conversation ended. Later he remarked that it wouldn't happen again. A few weeks later we had sex again and the foreplay was pretty much the same, which is to say nonexistent. I grabbed the lube to prevent any pain this time.
I don't know if I should feel happy that I'm able to cum so easily during sex by masturbating myself (many women can't), or upset that he doesn't touch me. I literally can not remember the last time he has fingered me or touched my clit. It's probably been twice in the last year. I get that some people can't do oral, he says he doesn't enjoy the taste, but is touching my clit to much to ask for? (And believe me I've asked MULTIPLE times, I've even showed him what I enjoy). I actually asked him why he doesn't touch my pussy and he said that during sex he just never thinks to touch me. It's gotten to the point where I've gone from being a sexually uninhibited nympho to feeling too self conscious to have sex in any positions besides missionary and cowgirl, I resent giving him any oral sex, and we now have sex once a month instead of a few times a week. I feel disgusting, used, and dirty. I keep wondering what is wrong with me, why doesn't he love me. I'm tired of begging to be touched.
So I guess I have two questions...
1) Am I expecting to much?
2) Anyone in similar situations have any coping mechanisms? Breaking up is not an option right now.
This post has been edited by Bella1009: Tue Feb 11, 2014 01:04 AM