Male Sperm Donor ?
Posted Tue Apr 01, 2014 10:48 PM
What would you do ?
Donate so they could have a Dr use your sperm to implant her , or would you ask to do this the old fashion way ?
Then after the kid was born , how would that affect you ?
Posted Wed Apr 02, 2014 01:22 AM
I personally would be honored and would be willing to do it however they wanted. Now, I can't tell how that would affect me later on though.
Posted Wed Apr 02, 2014 04:32 AM
In an ideal world I see no problems with them asking something like that and you helping them out. But the world we live in is anything but ideal. The real people are anything but ideal, too. What comes to mind right away is an MFM 3-way which is way less complicated than this. Yet many start enthusiastically and with high hopes end up disappointed, bitter and even with their relationships going south. 3-way is relatively short encounter yet it can, and often does, have a dramatic impact.
Regardless of the way how that child would be conceived it still would be yours and you would be it's father. This inevitably raises some serious questions about the role you would have in life of that child and those friends of yours. Would they be OK with you being part of that child's life and upbringing more than other friends of theirs would be? Would you? One day all of you might have to deal with that dreaded decision of telling the child who the real father is. How that will affect the child? How that would affect you and your friends? Of course, there are many other equally important questions both you and friends of yours have to ask yourselves. No matter what, some serious and honest soul searching would be required before making any decisions. Not only about the three of you but more importantly about that child who has no say in all this. It is life-long and life changing decision for all involved; once done there will be no turning back or changing your mind.
I honestly don't know how would I feel and what would I do in such a situation. I would be inclined to take the less complicated route and financially help them achieve their dream.
This post has been edited by SirFoggy: Wed Apr 02, 2014 04:36 AM
Posted Wed Apr 02, 2014 06:30 AM
But seriously I couldnt do it. To the very best of my knowledge my late father is my biological father however if i found out that wasnt true I wouldnt take it to well. I would have so many questions that would remain unresolved and it would affect me imensely on a personal level. And as such i couldnt potentially do that do a child. Yes im sure that lots of people have discovered that their biological father isnt who they think it is and haven't been affected by it however im sure their are people who it has affected them and as such i personally can not take the risk for that to happen.
By no means do I judge people who do donate sperm or accept a sperm donation in whatever fashion, thats their decision and who am i to determine what is and isnt right in this regard.
Posted Wed Apr 02, 2014 08:48 AM
You would need to protect yourself legally. Yes, they're your good friends, but in desperate times people can change and not always for the better. A couple of months ago I read about a guy who donated to a couple - no strings attached, just a verbal agreement - and ended up getting screwed in the end. The husband left her and she couldn't afford the child on her own so she sued the donor and he had to pay support. So, it's probably safe to assume there will be strings unless you properly protect yourself.
I would say going the clinical route would be the safest. It might be more expensive than the old fashioned route, but there's already enough going on so no need to potentially complicate things even more.
For me, I don't think I could do it. Maybe that's because I'm looking at it from a female perspective. I couldn't imagine carrying a child for 9 months and handing it to someone else. Granted, the baby would be good hands, but I would always know it's a part of me. I'm sure there would always be feelings and I don't think I'd be able to keep it a secret either.
This post has been edited by Noxie: Wed Apr 02, 2014 09:01 AM
Posted Wed Apr 02, 2014 11:28 AM
But suppose the "parents" would start to neglect the child. What if? Could my man just watch, having no rights to do anything? Suppose the parents divorce and whoever keeps the child gets a new partner and said partner abuses the child. What then?
I thought about it a lot, because a friend of us has asked my man to father her child.