Concerned Father... Children discovering Porn
Posted Sat Apr 26, 2014 10:54 PM
Recently, I caught my 8 year old daughter watching some video clips she shouldn't have been watching. She normally uses my laptop (the only computer in the house) for kids games found on "Friv" (or Loola)... websites of that nature. To further convince me that this wasn't something I left open in a browser history or something...it wasn't even a porn sight that I had ever been to. My single-mother raised me on the premise that if I was old enough to ask the questions, I was old enough for an honest answer...so I never got the 'stork theory', or the 'magic baby' bullshit or anything like that. Obviously I don't want my 8 year old to think that looking at naked people online is OK, but I don't want to make her think that she's in trouble, or that it's "bad", because that would only make it that much more appealing. I basically just said, "please stick to the websites you're supposed to be on" and left it at that.
I guess my question for you readers out there... Should I wait for her to ask questions? or Should I try to confront her in some-sort of non-threatening way. Obviously a girl might feel weird discussing things like this with her Dad, but I too am I single parent. So, its not like she can just 'go ask mom'.
Posted Sat Apr 26, 2014 11:11 PM
I too taught him at an early age how babies were made. The real story. I am sure he came across some things that were certainly at the least questionable and at the most, YIKES!! He was not allowed to go online for a long time. Any games were on CD. However, TV was another matter. I blocked certain channels so that they were not seen.
Eventually things were seen. I did not make a big deal of it and neither did he. He was a bit older than eight, I think 10 years old.
I am not sure how I would have handled should he have been eight years old. I think you handled it fairly well. If you had made a big deal of it she would may have felt that she did something really bad or you might have fueled her curiosity. At eight she might not have realized exactly what she was seeing. If she asks questions, answer them. Beyond a few questions from you as to what she think she saw, I would not push it beyond that..
Of course I am not an expert and my advise may just have borne out my utter and total ignorance. But that is what being a parent is sometimes.
Posted Sat Apr 26, 2014 11:51 PM
Posted Sat Apr 26, 2014 11:54 PM
This post has been edited by Caramel55: Sat Apr 26, 2014 11:54 PM
Posted Sun Apr 27, 2014 02:57 AM
One simple old school approach is to let her surf thru an AOL.com account that is restricted to young child access. that would work well UNLESS a friend came over with an adult aol account password!
A kid should be using a computer in an open space, like the Kitchen or TV room, where other family members frequent.
Good luck dad.
Posted Sun Apr 27, 2014 11:24 AM
w our son i set up a seperate user account (on pc, presume same can be done on mac) on that u can limit age range, time of use n also there is a log of what they r viewing. did the same on TV re age limit n pin number restriction, also means your viewing can not be mistakly viewed, also if using google chrome go incognito, does not remember ur history.
find out at school if they have recently been covering the subject of sex or also if she has mates who have older siblings who have covered it as it translates downwards n outwards. this was how our son first discovered it!
8 seems young but....be open w her, say if there is anything u want to talk about or worried about then know u can talk bout anything n leave it at that
our son asked all sorts of question of me, not just sex but relationships, love etc, i answered honestly, but leaving the penis ones to dad!
is there an Aunt or other female that cover the girlie bits that will ne coming to the fore in next few years if u dont think u can cover it?
good luck n as one who thought that dealing w finding playboy under the pillow n then found out what can be viewed, think u will need it xxx
Posted Sun Apr 27, 2014 01:22 PM
Seriously though 8 might be a little young to get too far into the subject, hopefully you can avoid those questions until she gets a little bit more older. I would get those computers set up on safe mode on a startup for her use and password your startup.
Posted Mon Apr 28, 2014 08:19 AM
Posted Mon Apr 28, 2014 12:56 PM
Posted Mon Apr 28, 2014 01:10 PM
The second best answer, is to approach the child in a non threatening way, and appeal to the little girls sense of right or wrong. Explain to them not everything on the net should be viewed, some websites especially porn sites can actually get your computer sick by giving your computer a virus, which is a truth, porn sites are high value targets for viruses because of traffic. Explain to them if that happens, it will harm the computer in such a way that it will likely cause it to be unable to get on the internet, and may even kill the computer which translates to them getting off or on. such a talk should stop the child from going back on. Assuming the kid has braincells, I've watched 8 year olds that would get lost in a paper bag.
Posted Mon Apr 28, 2014 03:32 PM
then punish her as you see fit maybe no more non child save browsing for a month and clean the toilet!
i believe that kids should be treated as people and not a long term pets! so get and give information freely between you and her! its better then having jonny or jimmy or cindy or sally on the playground teaching your kid for you cause they will find out weather you tell her or her friends do!
Posted Mon Apr 28, 2014 10:34 PM
Just to clarify a rather incorrect notion of how SF.com is operated .
If we get a "confirmed" minor , we ban .
If we get one who admits it to another user who can give me proof , we ban .
If we get someone really young looking who refuses to confirm their age, we ................
Thing is , we DO care , & we bust our asses to keep kids out of here , of course I'm sure you were speaking of other sites & I cant speak for their pollicies involving this matter >:]
Posted Mon Apr 28, 2014 11:51 PM
Posted Thu May 01, 2014 08:52 PM
I tell my kids sex is rad, but it also can come with *very* serious life-altering consequences, both physical, psychological, and emotional. It tell them the honest truth, all of it, including what it does to men, women, children, societies, etc. my kids are not taught that its just something fun....so they know that when I restrict their access to viewing it, they know it isn't to keep them from knowing about it. They understand I do it because it's something they will be experiencing when they're grown and will have to contend with the ramifications thereof at that time.
So that somewhere, at any given time, fake-tittied chick taking a 12" pole in the ass is something my kids probably know does happen, and I don't try to put them under the impression it doesn't exist (I mean, if they've seen it, it's too late to try that)....but they also know that what they see is fictitious in nature and isn't something that belongs in their thought process in this stage of their development.
In a nutshell: "ok kid, I see that you saw it. You know it exists. Im not going to tell you it doesn't. But unless you're willing to do all the *other* shit adults have to do on a daily basis like go to work, pay bills, plan for retirement, buy clothes/food/school supplies, pay taxes, and find a place to live and be able to afford it, you're not going to immerse yourself in this, either."
That's how I handled my kids bumping into porn... And since then, they've asked questions here and there, and have chosen to stay away from porn and overtly sexual minutia at school and w/ friends.