Confusing situation here
Posted Fri Nov 07, 2008 03:53 AM
My g/f, or now ex-g/f, and i were together for 4 years. We got together in high school even though we went to separate schools. We were 17 at the time. We are both now 21 and we broke up about 2 months ago. At first she said its because she didnt love me anymore, and that i have changed too much since high school, and that i work too much.
So about a month after we broke up i found out that she had hooked up with this guy on our indoor soccer team at a party that i had to leave early from because i had to work early the next day. I got so mad that i almost fought the guy and nearly runied my chances of pursuing my career in law enforcement. After that i came on here and saw that most ppl were telling others that no contact was the best policy of solving problems or getting her back. So thats what i did. At first i thought i wouldnt be happy without her and wanted to die. but time went by and i got better ad started going out and partying with friends and forgetting about her.
About a week ago she came to my house crying and tells me that she does love me and she does want to be with me but right now isnt the right time for us to be together and wants a break for us to both see other ppl. So i agree and then one thing leads to another and we have sex. i talked to her the next day about it and she said it was just cuz we were both horny and shed rather have sex with me since she trusts me and its better than her going to random guys. I, of course, agree. So we agreed to basically be each others "booty call" so that way niether of us have sex with some random other person just because we were horny that night. But the rules are that if we do meet we do not talk about other ppl we are seeing or partying with or dating or anything like that. And also on the das we do meet we cant spend the day together or do anything togther before or after since that is what people do when they are in relationships. we plan on keeping it this way until one of us finds another person or we decide that we want to be back together. Ive told friends about this and they all say that im stupid. i can see why they would be concerend about this since they know how hurt i was when we first broke up. but now that we are both on the same page this should be fine right?
let me know if we are making a big mistake or not or if anyone has any experience with this. As long as both of us follow the rules this should work shouldnt it?
Posted Fri Nov 07, 2008 03:55 AM
Posted Fri Nov 07, 2008 04:07 AM
That aint what love is about. Does that pass the smell test?
By the say, she could be cheating on some other guy with you.
Posted Fri Nov 07, 2008 04:23 AM
Posted Fri Nov 07, 2008 04:34 AM
But you also say "But the rules are that if we do meet we do not talk about other ppl we are seeing."
I don't think you're thinking this through.
Posted Fri Nov 07, 2008 04:46 AM
Posted Fri Nov 07, 2008 05:08 AM
Posted Fri Nov 07, 2008 05:15 AM
Posted Tue Nov 11, 2008 08:23 PM
Posted Sun Oct 31, 2010 12:46 AM
So in 09 I was at a party and as the result of a beer pong loss I had to kiss one of my friend/coworkers sister in law.(horrible punishment I know right. Lol). She was cute ad we ended up talking all night.....literally. This went on for a few weeks and my ex found out about it somehow and flipped out. She came to te house where we were at ad after arguing and me trying to force her to leave and almost having to ca the cops on her, she tries to RUN ME OVER WITH HER CAR. Thn shows up at my grandparents the next day causing drama as well. That was the end of it for me. I cut off all ties with her because things got serious with the new girl.
So what I am basically trying to say is that these situations DO NOT WORK most times. Especially when one or two of the people have tempers. People are hard pressed to not wantto let something go when they are young like I was. They think that they are meant to be simply because they were already together once for so long that it must be right. Or that no one else could be better for them.
I am happy to say that I just a couple weeks ago married "the new girl". I will admit that I still think about my ex and the times we had, after all she was my first love. But I have also realized that good times in the past do not replace a healthy meaningful relationship. My (now) wife isn't someone I thought I'd be with in my youth but I am a happier and better man now because of her.
So if anyone out there is searching this topic an comes across my post, all I have to say is LISTEN to these people here onthis forum. They know what they're talkig about. Haha. These types of situations hardly work and I learned the hard way, though not as hard as some of you others.
So in conclusion, thank you all for the words of advice. It tooktime but it all worked out in the end. I ended up with the girl that deserves me an loves me FOR me. Not for what she could have changed me into.
Posted Mon Nov 01, 2010 05:34 PM
This post has been edited by ♪♫Lyrical♫♪: Mon Nov 01, 2010 05:35 PM