heartbroken and confused
Posted Thu Nov 20, 2008 08:53 AM
Reasons for break up , lots of fighting on a daily basis , shouting , she then wanted to stop having sex with me for religious reasons and because she said she wasnt feeling right , and this caused more issues..She is also looking for a long term commitment where i am only 21 yrs old and do not know what to do , i do not want to kill my life over my first love.
SO I saw her and we have been spending time just spking and kissing , however she has made it very clear to me that she does not want me back now , cos i can not give her what she is looking for in the near future.
She said if we were to get back tog we would not have sex untill marriage.
I love this girl , but she is my first and this is hard.
When i see her now there is no fighting , but his could just be cos we miss each other , and i probably know that if we were to get back tog , the same issues of religoin would come back.
The truth is im a really nice guy who makes a bg effort , sex to me is healthy and good within boundaries ,and being with some1 who views the world so differently always makes me doubt myself , y cant i just be loved for the way i am and not consistently try be changed into some1 else..
For example , i just like she wants me to be more religious and come to synagoug, i have the right then to ask her to be less religious and ask her to be more supportive of my likings if she loves me , but i suppose to ask some1 to compramise religioun maybe isnt fair.
Y is marraige so importnant she is only 22 turning 23 , i mean , surely being with the right person is more important than being with some1 who can marry you tomooroow ?
Posted Thu Nov 20, 2008 08:56 AM
Posted Thu Nov 20, 2008 02:58 PM
Kind of seems like you two are looking for different things out of life right now, and since those things are kind of the two extremes of Religiousness and 21 year old experimentation/love..... I might agree with you that in order for it to work, one person will have to give entirely to the other. When that is the only option, it makes things kind of temporary (atleast in my experience).
As a guy who loved every second of his 21 year old experiences- I simply could not be in an exclusive relationship where my only partner did not give me any sexual outlet.
And if I was trying to be more focused on my religion, and my partner was simply not interested because of the place in life that he/she was in.... I would have to understand that maybe we were looking for different things.
Bottom line is you can totally postpone the seperation, but it will just hurt more in the end. Wish I could spin that in a more optimistic way. Good Luck
Posted Thu Nov 20, 2008 03:05 PM
Posted Thu Nov 20, 2008 04:00 PM
Posted Thu Nov 20, 2008 06:01 PM