I'm writing this to ask your opinion, coz I really cant understand, and I'm afraid to get sick if i cant get out and watch things from the outside.
I'm on SF from 2012, on and off, and 2 years ago I started to chat with a girl, she was a single mom and she was broking with her partner, I was just looking for online fun on here; we became close friends, shared IM, and of course we started to have fun, then we shared phone number and we began a lovely and really hot online relationship.
After a month cybering, making crazy and hot videos and pics collections, cam, we decide to meet; she's from England, and I'm often there for work, so I booked a room in a fancy hotel and we spent a lovely long week end.
We had a damn good time, in bed and hanging out in the city. Then when we've back to our lifes we decided to see each other again, taking a flight once a month to spend a week end together (mostly I moved) when I couldnt stay in England for work.
We planned to begin a life together, but I wasnt enough mature, and I lied to her, I was to scared to leave my life in Italy, my house, my job.
We've been together for 18 months, until she pushed me to choose between her and my past life. We broke last january. After some weeks I realized on her FB that she was dating with someone, and I found out she had an account in a dating site, with loads of pic I took her, during our trips.
Yes I stalked her, but it has been quite easy coz this guy she was dating had a profile in a half dozen dating site in England. We had a quite aggressive chat, she insulted me and I deleted her contact, FB, phone, and all the socials networks we were sharing.
But I couldnt forget her, even if I was resigned, I couldnt contact her coz I knew she still hated me so much and that feeling keep corroding me.
Then 10 days ago she called me in tears, saying that she wanted her life with me back, how hard she was missing me. we chatted for an hour about the plans we had together, and I said i didnt wanted to give up. In that moment I realized what she was the most important thing of my life, and I was ready to risk everything I have for her. So the same day I started to look for a job in England, sent my CV to companies, recruiting websites, I booked a couple of interviews, willing to repair to all mistakes I made.
We chatted sometimes last week, I updated her about job opportunities, but I would have grabbed the first job I could find. But some days ago she changed her mind, and when I called her she replied, aloof, saying that it was too late.
I feel really bad, and I dont really know what to do. I need to look over but I'm struggeling coz my feelings never changed since we broken.
I've always thought that everyone deserve a second opportunity, but I hadnt.
I would like your true opinion coz friends and parents just say just the same things, things that are easy to say.
PM if you dont want to post a reply here.
This post has been edited by gonewild: Wed Jul 15, 2015 07:33 PM