Boyfriend has had "easy coming" partners in the past
Posted Mon Aug 03, 2015 06:07 PM
It makes me cry. I don't know how to tell a man that he needs to be a little more educated on women. Or am I the one with the problem? I am in love with him still, but I find sex to be boring now since he's the only one getting satisfied time after time. How can I begin a conversation where you're basically telling your significant other they are not being patient enough to please you? Any advice is welcome.
Posted Mon Aug 03, 2015 06:18 PM
LISTEN UP - YOU ARE FINE - ahem .....forget about those BJ's for him - BUY HIM A BOOK - TELL HIM - READ it
an what exactly is YOUR' definition of "being in love" with this "person"
This post has been edited by the minx: Mon Aug 03, 2015 06:22 PM
Posted Mon Aug 03, 2015 06:35 PM
Some women hate oral. Some love it.
Some women love to be called dirty names, some hate it
Some love foreplay, others find it boring past 5 min
Some LOVE penetration, and some either hate it or just don't care for it-same with anal
His issue sounds like he may just be lazy+selfish and wants to to be about him, so he'll guilt trip you as being the one with the issue. it's not an issue to want satisfying sex. I would say most sexually active people do. lol And some partners take more revving up than others.
So, I would say bring it up one last time and try to sit down and have a serious discussion. Again, mentioning that you love him, and while he may have satisfied tons of other girlfriends, you're not them and need more, and/or different. If he still can't listen and shows no signs of taking your needs into consideration, you either have to stay and have unsatisfying sex, or leave. Sex may not be the main part of a good relationship, but it's still very important-unless you can both live in celibacy, or date him while giving him a green light to get his sexual desires met by other women.
Posted Mon Aug 03, 2015 06:37 PM
Posted Mon Aug 03, 2015 06:40 PM
But geez, it's really hard to talk to him about him since his ex-girlfriends must have been constant orgasmers and he thinks I am not attracted to him because I take 15-30 minutes!
Posted Mon Aug 03, 2015 06:40 PM
First I'd like to Welcome You to SF. IMO you have just joined the best Site on the net.
I can't tell you the proper percentages but I believe you will find, in most all studies, that sexual satisfaction is dependent on both the mental and the physical aspects of sex. I believe it may be more heavily weighted on the mental side. As you have described your SO is a selfish lover and seems only concerned with his satisfaction. If he continues to disregard your needs and he doesn't focus more on foreplay to enable you to become "ready" I can see the possibility that you may further resent his advances which will exacerbate the issues of you lubricating naturally.
I read where you attempted to talk with him and that failed. I think you may need to encourage him to attend couples counseling with you; this may help both of you to learn a way to "fix" this problem before it becomes too late, as he seems unable to hear you when you try and tell him how you are made to feel, maybe talking with a professional will get through to him.
Posted Mon Aug 03, 2015 06:43 PM
rittersport - READ an LEARN from SF what U IS ENTITLED TO
one orgasm - if u is lucky - GEEZ -
This post has been edited by the minx: Mon Aug 03, 2015 06:47 PM
Posted Mon Aug 03, 2015 09:05 PM
Did you get that? You are not broken. You don't need to be fixed. Your body is your body. It works the way it was meant to, regardless of whether or not it works the same as his Ex'es.
Posted Mon Aug 03, 2015 09:26 PM
If it's this bad now , it'll only get worse in time .
Posted Mon Aug 03, 2015 09:58 PM
but only you know what it's really like,and how much you are willing to put up with,
but IMO if he won't change I can't see how you could ever be happy with him,
Posted Mon Aug 03, 2015 11:40 PM
It comes down to communication. He has to accept that sex with you is not going to be mutually assured wham bam thank you ma'am and everyone goes home happy kind of thing. It doesn't mean you love him any less, it just means that more time, care, consideration and effort will have to be made on his part. If he truly loves you and cares about how you feel, then he will be amenable.
Posted Tue Aug 04, 2015 02:16 AM
Posted Tue Aug 04, 2015 03:34 AM
Posted Tue Aug 04, 2015 05:27 AM
Seconded. I've been on loads of naughty chat sites over the years, and this one is by FAR the best one. You're in good hands here.
Your boyfriend is being an arse. No one should sexually compare their partner to a previous partner - that's a horrible thing to do. Also, he's lying.
And the fact that his exes didn't want sex with him towards the end was probably because he was feeding them the same bullshit he's feeding you. Unless his cock is shaped like a rampant rabbit, there's no way his (fictional) ex-girlfriends all had vaginal orgasms during intercourse. Unless, of course, he defines ex-girlfriends as internet porn stars he's wanked to.
No one has the right to make you cry. No one. Read that again.... no one. I'm not saying you should break up with the guy, but please take some time to really consider if this relationship makes you feel better or worse as a person. Relationships like this are crushing, so whether you decide to try to fix it or leave it, please look after yourself. xx
Posted Tue Aug 04, 2015 08:33 AM
Posted Tue Aug 04, 2015 09:40 AM
Posted Tue Aug 04, 2015 12:02 PM
When my gf and I separated for about 6 months I dated a woman for a while who couldn't orgasm at all, not even through prolonged clitoral or G spot stimulation. The only way she orgasmed was from her vibrator. I had always been with women who could orgasm within minutes of intercourse. My girlfriend is so orgasmic she can actually orgasm from giving head, believe it or not. Anyways, for me not being able to get this other woman off was troublesome for me on an emotional level. I felt inadequate. I asked her what was in it for her if she wasn't climaxing and didn't seem to really enjoy it. She told me she liked getting me off, and that was satisfying enough for her. Just knowing she couldn't get off was a major turn off for me, and I felt horrible about it. I would lose my erection and sometimes pull out and fake that I came in the condom just to end the session. I was very generous and we did long sessions of foreplay, but it just wasn't enough.
That said I think he should be more willing to get you stimulated and warmed up before he just goes at it for his own gratification. Part of, if not the more important factor in myself enjoying sex is making sure my partner is satisfied and in the mood.
Communication is the key. Good luck, and welcome to SF.
Posted Tue Aug 04, 2015 04:43 PM
'We're not working out. You're selfish, inconsiderate and illogical. I deserve better. I'll get my things (or) You can get your things. Goodbye.'
Posted Tue Aug 04, 2015 05:36 PM
When he said that, you should give him those two special words of "You are..." rolls right out doesn't it? When he throws another tantrum say it with some smooth confident attitude.
What gets his ex's off is a pointless discussion, he is not with them anymore, you are not dating his ex's and this is nothing but a feeble attempt by this boy trying to say something is wrong with you, when the truth is he is just bad in bed. And the fact that his ex's were ready and willing to bone with anything that happens to breath air, isn't exactly qualities he should be raving about to prove to you that he is the sex god in his mind that he dreams he is.
You should leave him...find a man. Someone with their act together, and not going to play games with shortcoming that deflate their ego rather than actually confronting them.
Acting like a little boy, and being a selfish lover won't get it done in the bedroom.
If he wants to prove he is a great fuck in bed, he should make the effort to actually prove it, with action. Rather than being a crybaby and saying something is wrong with you.
If you feel leaving him is not an option, which would be unfortunate. The other thing you can do is sit him in the corner and give him a time out.
Posted Tue Aug 04, 2015 10:09 PM
For me I am a gentleman from the old school that believes that the ladies always come first. By hook, crook, tongue, , lips, cock, want ever it takes she will definitely get her big O before I do. She also knows that she will have to satisfy me and usually ends up sucking me off.