Guy: Wanna suck my dick? Girl: No. Guy: Probably for the best. I mean, it has a label-Warning! Choking Hazard! Girl: Isn't that the warning put on tiny objects?
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats and spits on him.
Teacher and her 3 boy students: Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.” Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.” Boy 2 laughed… Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 2: “I saw your bra straps.” Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one month.” Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class… Teacher: “Why are you leaving?” Boy 3: “I think my school days are over.”
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: "What are you shaking about, it's me she's going to eat."
My girl caught me blowing my dick with the air dryer, and asked what I was doing? Apparently "heating your dinner" wasn't a good answer.
Boy: I'll pay you 10 bucks to climb up the flagpole.
Girl: ok.(climbs the flagpole)Girl: Mommy Mommy a boy paid me 10 bucks to climb the flagpole.
Mom: He just wanted to see your underwear!...Next Day...
(Same boy): I'll pay you 20 BUCKS to climb the flagpole!
Girl: OK thanks! (climbs the flagpole)
Girl: Mommy Mommy today the boy paid me 20 BUCKS for climbing the flagpole, but today I tricked him this time I wasn't wearing underwear.
This post has been edited by Vodka: Fri Aug 14, 2015 11:12 PM