Would you have left by now?
Posted Mon Aug 01, 2016 02:46 AM
Anyway, up until we stopped having a sex life I would always be the one to instigate, but I grew tired of the rejections and excuses that I stopped initiating anything. We did start off our relationahip hot and heavy, but then we got married. When I've tried to talk to her on the past about the lack of sex she just says "dont put any pressure on me". The conversation basically doesnt happen.
We've both put on a lot of weight since we got together, we are quite large. She's said in the past she doesnt feel sexy so is not in the mood, but in the next conversation she'll say how much she enjoys being large as she feels cuddly. I personally have never felt sexy in my life, but that doesnt stop me getting horny. She has no interest on going on a diet or even trying to get a bit active and doesnt really support me when i try to do just that.
What i actually miss these days is not the sex life that we once had, but I miss being able to masturbate every night for as long as I wanted to. Nowadays i tend to have a quick one once a week and I'm left unfulfilled. I look forward to having a day off during the week occassionally when she is at work and i can wank as much as i like. Before we met my sex life was pretty non-existant and mainly consisted of masturbating and watching porn. I loved it. When i met my wife we did have porn style sex and i was so happy. But it never lasts.
We dont have much of a social life which i dont mind. She is self confessed lazy and i just like our own company.
Around the home i do everything. I cook, do the dishes, vacuum, clean the house and I never ask for a thing. I know if I dont do something then it wont get done. If my wife does anything around the home she tells me as if she's done good and wants a medal. If one the rare occassion she cooks dinner then by the time shes dished up shes huffing and puffing like shes run a marathon.
I keep thinking there are a million other people out there who would have left or have had an affair or something by now. But i love her, or an i just kidding myself? Aside from the above, we really do get on well. We never argue or fight, we do everything together (apart from the above).
So my question to you is would you have hung around if you were in this situation?
Posted Mon Aug 01, 2016 02:47 AM
Posted Mon Aug 01, 2016 04:02 AM
No one wants to live in misery , but cheating is a bad thing to do IMO .
Maybe you just need to put you cards on the table , tell her how you feel & respond accordingly .
You may be better apart than you are together .
Might be time to cut your losses , end it honestly , & see what else life has to offer .
Posted Mon Aug 01, 2016 04:29 AM
Posted Mon Aug 01, 2016 06:44 AM
But I do have one suggestion, how about getting yourself fit and lose some weight to set an example. Even if it only helps your self esteem at least you will feel better. Even losing 5 kilos which I have done will make you feel better. You will feel more energized and even if your wife doesn't appreciate you doing that, you will feel more confident and maybe you will be then inclined to push for your marriage be improved all end it all together.
Posted Mon Aug 01, 2016 07:20 AM
You mention you've tried to get healthy and she doesn't join you. It's OK for her to choose to be lazy. But do you find she undermines your efforts to improve your own physical health? If she's holding you back in your efforts to better yourself, this is a big issue. A spouse should support your effort to be healthy, not squash it. If she's not supporting you, this could be an indication of insecurity on her part. That is, she feels she may lose you as you are moving ahead of her. Something to think about.
The second is when you say you miss masturbating. Why are you unable to masturbate? It's your body and you have every right to do with it as you please as long as you're not breaking any laws. Has she restricted you from masturbation? Because that's just plain abusive. Or do you feel uncomfortable masturbating when she's home?
Posted Sat Aug 20, 2016 06:15 AM
Posted Mon Aug 22, 2016 02:01 PM
Posted Tue Aug 23, 2016 02:14 AM
This post has been edited by photog: Tue Aug 23, 2016 02:18 AM
Posted Wed Aug 24, 2016 03:58 AM
Then you can start talking about your sexual issues, which is the only way to resolve them. Start by thinking about what sex is. Penetration is only a small part of it. You say you haven't had sex, but then say she's given you handjobs. So what are handjobs if they aren't a sexual act between two people? Don't measure sex with penetration, because other stuff is often more satisfying and intimate.
In the meantime, try wanking whenever you feel like it, rather than waiting until she's not there. It will help to send her the message that you need relief, but also take pressure off. She might even want to join in, which is always fun!
The rut you are in sounds self-inflicted, and it's up to you to do something, but leaving her is a loser's way out.
Posted Fri Oct 14, 2016 02:31 PM
meet some of your couple friends... who are happy together.... just to make her jealous...
n frequently go for holidays....