Posted Wed May 24, 2017 07:38 PM
Posted Wed May 24, 2017 10:51 PM
First, I'd offer that I knew a woman with much the same problem once. At the time, she and her husband were in their mid 30's, and her husband had an enormous, nearly insatiable sex drive. He was almost literally wearing her out! And she had an acute gag reflex, and hated giving blowjobs. They had tried to invite another woman into their relationship, but it didn't last - she found herself becoming jealous, and worried that her husband might fall in love with the other woman. So that was ended.
They arrived at a rather unique solution. She reasoned that if they invited another MAN into their relationship, her husband would never become emotionally attached. And the right man would be expected to keep the husband's strong libido in check, while enjoying time with both, and with her alone. Her husband agreed that the arrangement just might work. They placed a personal ad in an alternative newspaper, and I answered. After a get-acquainted meeting over dinner, she invited me to spend a weekend evening with them. We had a delightful night together, but the real test occurred the next morning, when she watched approvingly as I sucked her husband's cock. I didn't leave until late the following afternoon. Soon after that, they invited me to move into an upstairs bedroom. I lived with them for almost a year.
First things first - a lot of this is mind over matter. Your brain and willpower is strong - use them to change how you talk to yourself. Often, if you expect a particular outcome from experience or programming, that outcome will continue to occur. Change how you perceive oral sex, and talk to yourself in positive ways about performing the act. There isn't anything about the male semen that causes gagging or nausea of its own; those ways of perceiving it are coming from your (still powerful) mind. Begin a concerted effort to change how you think of it. I absolutely adore sucking my boyfriend's big cock, I love everything about his warm, sweet semen (and my own!), and when he spurts his load in my mouth it is a delightful and rare (yes, rare - ask me if you'd like to know why) treat! You, too, can learn to adore sucking your man's cock.
Second, not everyone can deepthroat, and not every cock can be deepthroated. My boyfriend is eight inches, and a bit over two inches thick! It took me a while, I'll admit, but now I can easily take him to the balls, again and again. A lot of being able to deepthroat is practice, practice, practice! And your man won't mind - that is, as long as you don't vomit on him!
But deepthroat, too, involves a lot of mind-over-matter thinking. What is the gag reflex? It is an involuntary spasm of the throat when sensory nerves at the back of the tongue think you're about to choke to death. It's an automatic response the body has developed to try to save your life. But - mind over matter time - your love is NOT going to let you choke to death on his dick. (Current headline-news story about exactly that notwithstanding.) You have to enable your self-talk here, too - tell yourself that you are safe, that nothing bad will happen to you, and use your will to convince yourself that the penis slipping across the back of your tongue is a wonderful thing to be loved, not a dangerous thing to be rid of.
Yes, if your man is long enough, and thick enough, when his cockhead turns downward into your throat, you probably won't be able to breathe. Don't panic! He's not going to suffocate you! (Again, current news story notwithstanding.) You'll be able to breathe again when he pulls back out. With practice, you'll time your breaths with his thrusts (especially if you both build the confidence together to explore the world of throat fucking), and you'll build a delightful rhythm, quite like the rhythm of a wonderful, back-and-forth, lusty fuck.
Again, practice, practice, practice. The first few, or even several times, might not go well. But don't get discouraged. Keep after it, and keep up your positive self-talk. Something you might try to get started is a spritz of Chloraseptic spray. Yes that same spray that numbs down a sore throat can calm and control a gag reflex, and help you take a dick to the balls! The downside (or maybe it's an upside?) is the presence of that topical anesthetic in your mouth and throat will also numb his penis somewhat.
Posted Fri May 26, 2017 07:11 PM
But as for the gag reflex, I keep trying to work on it. I mean even brushing my teeth makes me gag. I am extremely thankful I have a wonderful husband who has never pressured me or pushed me to let him cum in my mouth (never even asked), has helped me figure out how to give him a blow job that is pleasing to him utilizing my hands/toungue/etc while down there.
As terrible and selfish as it sounds, if he was pushing me I wouldn't even be trying to "fix" my issues, but this is something I WANT to do. I love giving him a blowjob, and would love to be able to take it to another level. That is why this is so frustrating for me. (if that makes any sense)
Posted Sat May 27, 2017 09:12 AM
And though my boyfriend and I do adore oral sex, our greatest love by far is anal - he's my handsome, hung top, and I'm his adoring, eager bottom! So I have quite a bit of experience with anal sex, and am happy to offer advice!
Posted Sat May 27, 2017 11:38 PM
Posted Sun May 28, 2017 09:04 AM
Thanks for those kind words, Q! Yeah, I LOVE swallowing my boyfriend's lightsaber! That's his thick, handsome, veiny, half-hard sword resting across mine!
Posted Sun May 28, 2017 08:05 PM
And talking of swallowing Lightsabers to a Star Wars geek makes me very excited for some reason. LOL