issues with GF please advice... I'm desperate
Posted Sat Feb 21, 2009 01:50 AM
tell what u would have done? I'm a being an asshole trying to control her? or are there boundaries when you have a boyfriend you don't go around sending letters, okay maybe at least telling the other person what u wrote, not to hear this things from the third person... or if I did the same thing with a girl, would it be okay? I asked her today, and she told me its different... now I don't understand what difference it makes...
I couldn't sleep all night, so here I'm writing this... anyone, please share light on this aspect / dynamics of relationship, I seem to be missing out something or not understanding...
Posted Sat Feb 21, 2009 03:08 AM
I'm think it could be 2 reasons why you girlfriend is doing this stuff. She flirts with the barman to get cheap/free drinks, always has and always will, or she gets really flirty when she's drunk.
How long have you been with her? Have you been out drinking with her often and in different situations to see if it's just the alcohol?
Maybe if you sit her down and have a serious conversation and tell her exactly how much you don't like her being flirty with other guys etc, if she really likes you she'll respect the way you feel.
Posted Sat Feb 21, 2009 05:54 AM
Posted Sat Feb 21, 2009 09:37 AM
The most important thing is to break the cycle of going to the bar, etc. etc. so look for alternative things to do.
Posted Sat Feb 21, 2009 01:01 PM
I agree with Oliveskin, you should sit down with your GF, and tell her that you dont really enjoy going to bars with her, and that you want to do things with her that do not include her drinking. See what she says. If she makes a big deal out of it, I would prepare yourself internally for a life change...
Many women will tell you "your making a big deal out of nothing! He is just my friend." Then if you ever duplicate the exact same thing that she was doing, with a female friend of yours, you will see her scream bloody murder. That is the double standard that clearly screams disfunctional relationship. Some people just have higher standards of conduct than others. It is just important to remember nobody is right or wrong, it is just that your two personality styles and expectations might be uncompatible with each other.
Posted Sat Feb 21, 2009 01:59 PM
Posted Sat Feb 21, 2009 06:26 PM
Posted Sat Feb 21, 2009 07:09 PM
I don't really see 'drunk' as a good reason to skate around that. If you can't control yourself, stay home and drink.
Posted Sat Feb 21, 2009 08:01 PM
Posted Mon Feb 23, 2009 05:16 PM
i can understand the gettinf drunk and touchy feely thing, it happens...but telling you if you did it it would be different, how is that??? and what if you were on the reciving end, would it be different then??? you need to ask her these questions and find out what the story is!!!
Posted Mon Feb 23, 2009 07:24 PM