is not getting off normal?
Posted Tue Mar 17, 2009 12:49 PM
Im sure this type of thread has been started 50 billion times but here i go any way.
i wasnt a virgin when i met my bf but i only had a few one night stands before him, so technically this is my first sexuall relationship with someone. i dont get off during sex nor can my bf get me off from oral or fingering me. i know i can get off because i masturbate so tahts not the problem.
my question is how many women out there cant get off when someone else is in control. i dont know any female (and i am very open about sex and talk to everyone about it) who doesnt get off from sex.
ive had a couple of people tell me it didnt happen with htere first bf (one case was that her ex didnt really care if she got off or not) but once they 'opened up', i guess you could say, they had no problem getting off. i know its not my bf because he has tried everything under the sun to get me off (not to mention his 2 ex's were virgins when they started going out and he had no problem what so ever getting them off from sex, oral, and fingering)
ive read articles and stuff like that saying its normal but, just like i said earlier, i dont know anyone who cant get off from their sexuall encounters. i am the only one i know.
Posted Tue Mar 17, 2009 06:55 PM
Posted Tue Mar 17, 2009 08:06 PM
What I'm trying to say is that some women feel funny admitting that they aren't completely satisfied and they fake it in the bedroom and fake it when their friends ask them.
You guys are in a knew relationship and it can sometimes take years before you know your partner's body... whilst exploring your partners body you are going to do things that they hate/love/like/tolerate etc etc
It took us a few years to be sexually honest with each other my hubby will tell me if the position that we are in does nothing for him... he used to pound away assuming it felt good for me and I would put up with the bad position assuming it was good for him etc......
Our mind is our greatest aphrodisiac, if you are thinking that your boyfriend hasn't gotten you off, but you would really like it if he did, oh why can't he get me off, I can get myself off, I just wish he could get me off etc etc etc then you body will refuse to cooperate.
Maybe you can make a game of it... cut up some little pieces of paper, say 10 each and write down what you would like him to do to you, and he writes what he would like you to do to him (eg: kiss your thighs/legs but don't touch your pussy or run your fingers all over your body but don't touch your breasts/pussy/arse - only lick/nibble the outer lips and when the timer goes of have a quick suck of the clit etc etc) put a time limit on it (2min) then you can both work out what you like and learn about each other's bodies in a fun and non pressuring way....... the whole aim is NOT to ejaculate/orgasm but just to explore....
Posted Wed Mar 18, 2009 06:38 AM
Posted Wed Mar 18, 2009 07:50 AM
if i play with myself i can sometimes get off...but it takes me like 20 mins. but i cant get off if he is playing with me. and we have tried the ass thing...i like it but it doesnt get me off.
we are both very open with each other and we tell each other what we like and what we dont like...i hate the fact that i dont get off and i think about it all the time....its driving me crazy. maybe thats my problem.
Posted Wed Mar 18, 2009 09:26 AM
If I may suggest, physical exercise may help your disposition. You need some physical stamina to be able to get off... in particular when your muscles start to tense up in your pelvis and thighs. I'm not sure if you know where you have your G-spot... you need to know where it is or try to find it with your partner. Do a google search on the net and you will find plenty of sites explaining how to find it.
Posted Wed Mar 18, 2009 07:06 PM