Posted Sat Apr 04, 2009 07:10 PM
here it goes...
I had a girl that I wanted to be together with a few months ago and I got way to attached to her, we never did anything but, anyways I lost her all together now and ever since then I have been really sad.
So all the sudden I start to think and read a lot. Thinking about girls in general, then it started going towards sexual things. I have already had some good knowledge but I found out a lot more then I think i wanted to and it made me start to think about alot of different things, constantly analyzing.
I now know almost everything about a females body and how things work, sexually speaking of course. the first thing you find out when you start your searching, is that it is very complicated as they all say, and still "unknown" to this day. I started to think, wow, a girl can really experience some serious pleasure if things are done right, an endless amount of it too.
I won't go into detail on what I know, but what started to go through my head. I figured I have to go through so much work, and deal with that feeling that many guys get, that being "i will do anything to win her heart" and that can be taken literal, to just get the girl. Then do so much work to keep her, always please her, in and out of bed. There is so much pressure on me, and what do I get out of it? The nice little feeling in my dick that usually leaves me, and other guys saying "damnit" or "fuck!" i came. Does anyone know any girl that has ever said "stop im gonna cum" or seem mad or disappointed that they reached climax? I don't think so....
basically what im saying is, i have lost desire to try because i dont think its worth it...I might get emotionally attached to a girl, but no girls think that happens cus all guys want is sex right? but lets just pretend for a second that they believe thats true and i end up losing her cus i couldnt "perform" good enough, or came to early. Fact - did you know that the average male lasts between 2-7 minutes? It seems there is to much pressure on me to even enjoy anything. I don't think girls understand that most "good" guys really are willing to do anything for them. Have any of you heard of men using numbing medication to help them last longer!? WTF is that shit. Numbing you cock so you dont feel anything is a great i hear. But some guys find it worth it for their girl cus they love her way more then themselves.
As you can see just by reading, and seeing how ive worded everything that it sounds depressing even if its true or not. You know theres a problem when you prefer jacking off over sex....input is greatly appreciated thank you for reading, sorry it was so long.
Posted Sun Apr 05, 2009 12:38 AM
Well now aint that a silly thing to say. Why would it be depressing if it was not true.
How about if you relax and take a breath. It sounds like you weren't reading the right things. You still think that pleasing a woman depends on what you do with your dick. But there's a lot more to sex than that. Just cuz you cum doesn't mean it's all over. There's still your hand and mouth, and toys, and even a second round with your dick a little later if you want.
You might also try getting to know girls as people, not just sexual creatures. Get familiar with them and comfortable with them, and maybe sex will fall into place when it's time.
Posted Sun Apr 05, 2009 02:02 AM
And your thinking WAY to much.
On avg most guys last 2-7 minutes? Did you realize that some nights thats all my wife wants. Me? I want to go all night. Why? Because I love sex. I enjoy cumming but for the most part when that part hits its over. So i enjoy all the stuff before that.
Not all women want to do it for 2 hours at a time. And even some of the ones that do want a quickie every now and then.
Everyone is different. Have fun learning what she likes and letting her learn what you enjoy. Make it fun and go as long as you two can just having foreplay. You can learn a lot playing around and getting someone off without putting your dick in them.
Then when you do have sex you get to spend time learning more about them. Have fun with it. Your making something fun, stressful.
Posted Sun Apr 05, 2009 05:54 AM
Thinking about sex is a catch 22 situation.
I'd avoid as many sex video sites , sex information sites etc. Get some constructive hobbies or develop the ones you have.
As far as girls are concerned, you need to quit approaching them from a sexual only standpoint and more from a "being a friend stand point". Girls like a guy who knows where he is going in life....has a plan for the future and takes steps to get there. Girls want friendship and security. They want to tell their friends, "Hey I met this interesting guy...he's studying to be a ........!" Everything simply falls in line after that.
Posted Sun Apr 05, 2009 12:00 PM
Wanna last a long time? Try using a condom. It will allow you to last pretty much as long as you want to.
Also, jerking off before you have sex will allow you to last longer too.
Posted Sun Apr 05, 2009 01:08 PM
*hits the shock button*
No more of that. Nothing ever turns out exactly as we imagined it. And it sounds like you have all these arbitrary scenarios playing through your mind that it's freaking you the hell out.
Take a deep breath and forget all of that. Allow yourself to enjoy being with someone without expectations of how you should behave, and let things happen at their own natural pace.
Posted Sun Apr 05, 2009 01:28 PM
I don't really think its useless information, however its only relevant for about 40-45 minutes a week (if your currently sexually active) If not, well its dangerous.
That said, I have to agree with some of the other posters. I am a very sexual person. Its always on my mind.. So much so that it drives my girlfriend crazy. I cant help but always want to have sex. I just always want it (kinda sucks actually) I love sex, but its really annoying that I always want it.
I would suggest that you look at girls differently, maybe try just having some female friends, not ever going the relationship route. I would like to have more friends, but the simple fact is that I am a loner, and cant stand the drama that is associated with large groups of people (college aged people)
Also, maybe find a hobby. Or a new course of study. I have begun to research many other things and also spend a great deal of time reading non-fictional books. Hoping that something else will interest me. I have more of less redirected my focus from sexual related issues to finance issues. Something that I can use in my life, as I am in college for Finance. Had I used all my energies from the past on finance.. I might be done with school by now?
Posted Sun Apr 05, 2009 04:17 PM
Posted Sun Apr 05, 2009 07:56 PM
Posted Sun Apr 05, 2009 08:48 PM
Posted Mon Apr 06, 2009 12:49 PM
You have taken a very methoical and clinical aproach to sex!!!
Its not jus the feelings in your dick, its the connection with your partner, and that is definately as powerful as an orgasm!!!