Wife not turning me on anymore. I feel bad.
Posted Mon May 04, 2009 03:02 PM
I'm having trouble getting turned on by her. I've turned down sex a few times with excuses just because I wasn't into her at the time and twice I've gone soft like 10 minutes into sex because it feels more like work than pleasure.
Here is the problem: She is still pretty, but she doesn't seem to care if she is "hot" or "sexy" when it counts anymore. She spends an hour a day, everyday, on her hair and makeup so she looks like a model when she leaves the house, but she has completely stopped shaving her privates, goes longer between shaving her legs, and goes longer between shaving her arms.
Also, I never get to spend time with her or "have" her when she is all dolled up. Every opportunity she gives me to have sex has her with freshly showered with wet hair, no makeup, and stark naked and damp hopping into bed.
Finally, the sex. Oh god...the horrible sex!
- There is no oral foreplay, no manual foreplay. (The crazy bush). She just lays there and invites me to suck her tits...then tells me to get on top of her. She likes it hard too. So...it is really like work.
I've talked about most of this with her, but it just makes her feel bad. She says she is too "Tired" to keep up with grooming...or to have exciting sex. And I know it is true. We moved and she has a longer commute. She works a stressful job. We have a 18month old. So, I can't really fault her for any of this....
But even when she rides me, she gets so tired so quickly that I feel like if I dont cum in 2 minutes she will have to quit and she will feel bad and start cry. So, I'm trying so hard...that it is like work again and there is zero chance of cumming.
None of it is really her fault but I still can't help but be unable to perform because she has lost the attraction.
I've tried many things to get her excited about sex again. Excited enough to make it a priority. I'm sure we can all remember a time when there was no day long enough to stop us from wanting sex.
I told her that if she would keep up the grooming, that she could demand oral from me anytime she wanted it and wouldn't have to return the favor. I told her I would go down on her 7 days a week and then she could just lay there and relax afterwards and not need to return the favor or even have sex. No luck. I could see she liked the idea, but in the end it just slipped by and didn't happen.
I really don't know what to do. Any ideas???
Posted Mon May 04, 2009 03:11 PM
a) do not mention sex, unless right on position to do it
make her feel loved no matter what, compliments etc
c) no foreplay out of pitch, I mean, do not touch her ass on the kitchen, do not say you're horny watching TV, etc
d) once in bed try to rule the show, it's important that she thinks you do desire her immensely
e) good luck, women mood is tough for us, we never really understand what's on
Posted Wed Jun 17, 2009 06:42 AM
It's natural that people have hair. I remember when I was young and sneaking looking at porn books and movies, the chicks were all bushy. I just don't get why guys get so about that: " Mommmyyyy!! my wife, she's got pubic hair, what am I gonna dooo? bwuaaahhhh!!"
And if you really can't stand the bush, why don't you suggest to trim or shave it yourself? That's a very erotic thing to do.
Posted Sun Aug 02, 2009 12:32 PM
I dont know what to do, ive tried talking. But she gets bothered by it or just says " i know. im sorry" and walks away
Posted Wed Aug 05, 2009 12:43 AM
Posted Wed Aug 05, 2009 01:10 AM
Posted Wed Aug 05, 2009 10:20 AM
but you have an 18 month old. just dont have another one and wait for it to get older, she won't be as stressed maybe.
i commute over an hour and a half to two hours a day. i work a very stressful job and then i run a side business. im fucking shot most of the time, but i want to satisfy my girl and i get er done!
Posted Sun Aug 09, 2009 11:46 AM
Look forward to get together with longer foreplay or manual play on weekends.
Get somebody to take care your 18 months old baby for 1 night or 2, spend time just the two of you watching erotic movies, bathing and rubbing each other or volunteer yourself to massage her if she is tired. Let the blood flows to any of the sensitive part. So does you. Lead her hands to massage your body and whisper to her that you love her for doing this. These feeling and flowing is an appreciation of love and good sex.
Posted Sun Aug 09, 2009 12:12 PM
2. Tell her you are getting attracted to other woman becase she doesn't care about you sexually anymore.
3. Scare her and stay at a hotel for the night
It doesn't seem like she is thinking of your feelings, but try to think of stress issues she may have because of baby. Take her on a cruise, a trip that requires a bathing suit. I dont think she would let strangers see the hairy buldge in a suit lol
Posted Tue Oct 13, 2009 08:44 PM
buddy don't scare your wife.
that's how someone ends up getting killed because they assumed you were fucking their best friend or some off the wall shit
be delicate ok, take the other advice posts in here... but ignore the one just above me if you're a passerby
Posted Wed Oct 14, 2009 05:52 AM
Talk to her and don't let her write you off or make you feel bad for bringing it up.
Posted Mon Jan 18, 2010 11:04 PM
Posted Tue Jan 19, 2010 12:01 AM
Posted Tue Jan 19, 2010 02:55 AM
This post has been edited by Olive: Tue Jan 19, 2010 02:56 AM
Posted Sat Jan 23, 2010 04:18 PM