i need help attracting my ex girl
Posted Sun May 17, 2009 07:03 PM
I am 19 years old and so is the girl I am talking about. We had been going out for a year and a half (broke up now) up until a few weeks ago. We never lived together. When we started dating, we didn’t have sex for a couple months. Then we started to do it pretty frequently. Probably like a sexual activity at least twice a week. Then after a while that slowed down, to I think a more a natural rate. This continued until the past couple months when sex became scarce. As well as hanging out together. She is very busy in school and it is hard for her to make time now. A few weeks ago she told me told me that she doesn't feel as strong romantically and sexually with me anymore. She also said, she feels like I deserve someone who is dedicated to me. She loves me a lot as a person. She still calls me sweetie, babe etc. Also she will do things like show me her new underwear, kiss me back when I kiss her, touch me, etc.
Throughout our relationship(5+ times) she has gotten insecure and accused me of not loving her, showing it etc. And I have done anything to show her I love her and save our relationship. When she broke up with me I told her that I feel very strongly for her still. Then last night I told her I don’t think she cares about me because she isn’t trying to understand what I am going through. And that after all her shit I have put up with (insecurities) she isn’t doing the same for me.
I guess I got what I wanted when she came over to my house at 1:30 last night. We talked and then we got in my bed and she started to get on me and act sexy and stuff. She had no intention to go any farther. Given the circumstances it wouldn’t be appropriate. She said sometimes she feels romantic towards me and sometimes not. After this we talked more. Then out of the blue we were lying there she asked me, “what would you do if I asked you to bang me?” This would be a more appropriate time after talking. So thinking this was a queue. I showed her and told her what I would do up until I tried to put my hand into her pants. She told me no, and I asked what that was about… She said she didn’t really want to have sex with me, she just wanted to know. And while she didn’t say this she wanted me to put my dick against her butt and proceed to foreplay. She was into it which made me go further; she was just not all the way into it apparently.
Throughout our relationship, I have been really open and she has been crazy about me however I act. I call her and want her to hang with me a lot, I always want to have sex with her, be close to, her kiss her.
I am really a dummy when it comes to hitting on girls and the rules of attraction.
Although she wouldn’t admit it, I feel like if I show her too much attention it makes her not want me. I feel like when she asked me what I do if she asked me to bang her, she just satisfying some something (I duno)?
So here are my questions…
I want her back; I want her to be in love with me again. I think that with the combination of her being stressed out, me not understanding the rules of attraction, and other stuff; it is just a bad time. If I give it sometime she might come around.
Also she said that she doesn’t have feelings for anyone else, but she feels like she could move on if someone came along. That she is 19 and should move on but then she said, she could be making a big mistake, that I am a perfect bf and perfect for her.
What do I do to get her to like me more? She is a great person and any of these games I feel she’s playing are subconscious for her. I am good looking, very weird, very very affectionate, very nice, and not afraid to act silly. I dunno that might help… So advice on any of this would be greatly appreciated.
Posted Sun May 17, 2009 07:28 PM
Posted Sun May 17, 2009 07:34 PM
Posted Sun May 17, 2009 08:22 PM
Posted Sun May 17, 2009 08:43 PM
The poor girl is just young... Please go about your business and leave her to hers.. It is hard..... I could imagine..
Unfortunately... if you find you are having trouble moving on, the problem is no longer hers... it is yours...
My advice would be find a girl who will give you a wonderful...... I believe this will work wonders for you... I'm sure Mr CBD would agree...
Posted Sun May 17, 2009 09:14 PM
Posted Sun May 17, 2009 09:39 PM
Posted Sun May 17, 2009 10:09 PM
Posted Sun May 17, 2009 10:35 PM
You will probably have sex with her because you will allow yourself to have sex with her... Time to meet the challenge... move on Mr Likeshelikes... Men need to be men....on occassion....
btw.. She is not TOO young... just simply..young...
Posted Mon May 18, 2009 12:51 AM
I really don't think she is consciously playing games with me. She came to my house last night at 130 becuz i was upset. She really cares for me.
what are you trying to say... she young. I am suppossed to figure it out?
I know i should be a man but you see i think i still have a chance for a strong relationship again. I know, i know... i needa move on. But i just want HER. i guess i am a stage 5 clinger.
And by the way jaz, your picture is pretty amazing.
thanks for all the help ladies
Posted Tue May 19, 2009 01:23 AM
BUT... if u really want the girl back and really do think you are in love with her, then give her tons of space.
don't have any kind of contact with her. ignore her when she calls/texts/etc.
either that is going to make her realize what she had and get back with you, or you are both going to realize that you are better off without each other.
either way, not talking to her would be good for you. trust me. i know its hard, but it really does make for a good outcome.
Posted Tue May 19, 2009 02:36 AM
Posted Tue May 19, 2009 05:09 PM
You seem as if you want people to back up an opinion that you already have, if so there is no changing your mind.
Personally speaking, I would try to ignore this girl, or not be with her on an intimate level. Maybe in a year or 2 she will have matured and you can have a relationship, but at the moment it seems unlikely it can happen.
Posted Wed May 20, 2009 04:22 PM
You need to have some fun with plenty of girls and quit putting he on a pedestal. It makes you look like a lower value person in her eyes by trying to get her back after you're broken up. If you leave her alone, if she truly wants to be with you, she'll let you know.
I know it doesn't seem like now, but there are other women that are more compatible for you.
You need a girl who is mature and knows what she wants and doesn't play with a guy's emotions.