My girlfriend can't come
Posted Wed Aug 19, 2009 07:50 AM
I've always tried to make her feel good before me, because I loved making her "orgasm" almost as much as I enjoyed it. I have no problem with giving her head, or focusing on her for long periods of time. Since she told me we've been trying together to get her to cum. She even bought a rabbit vibrator, and while she says it's the best thing she's ever felt, she still hasn't cum.
She starts to freak herself out with thoughts about her not being able to cum at all, or she thinks that if she doesn't I'll be angry with her. I've tried telling her that it doesn't matter and I love her but it doesn't seem to do much good once she's started trying again.
I'm getting desperate and feeling a bit depressed. It's important to me that she feels good and can come, but I can't pressure her because I know it will make it worse. At the same time though I don't know how to help.
at a loss,
Posted Wed Aug 19, 2009 08:12 AM
On a side note, this is why I've never faked an orgasm! You are only cheating yourself and reinforcing behavior that doesn't get you off.
Posted Wed Aug 19, 2009 08:19 AM
How common ARE medical issues?
If there's one thing I didn't want to hear, it's that we're doing all we can. I feel awful, and I'm sure she does too. I just want to figure out what's wrong and fix it so we can move past this.
Posted Wed Aug 19, 2009 08:59 AM
do a google or SF.com search on gspot simulation. i've written a few things about it in a bunch of threads. she isn't going to orgasm from only vaginal stimulation (ie penetrative sex)- you probably have to work it out with stimulating her clit as well.
do not give up!!! she will cum and you will be her divine higher being! i think the easiest way to make a girl cum is fingering her, mixed with a little clit sucking and rubbing.
maybe also look into a vibrating cock ring that will stimulate her clit while you're fucking her.
she has to learn to relax and literally clear her mind except for the 'oh god' s and 'oh fuck' 's.
and that rabbit vibrator is a good tool- that should make her cum if you find her spot. she has one. don't give up!!! and don't be upset or depressed or anything like that, it's really not your fault. it's difficult to make a girl orgasm especially when she's been faking it so you aren't sure exactly what sets her off.
just make her promise not to fake it. spend plenty of time exploring her pussy without even using your dick. its easier to reach certain spots with a finger or two than with your dick.
also, missionary with you on your knees so you can rub her clit is a good position to make her cum.
theres alot more to having an awesome orgasms than just the sex. it's the mood- not in that moment, but leading up to it. exchaning dirty text messages while at work might work her up a bit- the hornier she is, the better. don't be afraid to tease and build up some sexual tension- to the point where she WANTS you in the worst way and can't control herself.
Posted Thu Aug 20, 2009 08:02 AM
Posted Fri Aug 21, 2009 08:12 AM
There has been times where I thought it might happen but I damn near have to almost have a heart attack to get her to that point, and it seems like I can't get her there.
it use to really bother me because I felt selfish,
Those times that I think shes nearing an orgasms its so intense because her moans of extreme pleasure put me over the edge.
it does suck that she faked them with you, but just accept that its rare for some women and its not you.
Posted Fri Aug 21, 2009 09:26 AM