Posted Tue Oct 27, 2009 03:35 PM
I Have Been Married To My Wife For 2 Years Now. We Did Not Have Sex Until We Got Married (her Decision). She Has Always Been Shy About Getting Naked Or Anything Sex Related For That Fact.
As A Result We Have A Non-existant Sex Life.
We Are Rediculously In Love But She Doesnt Have Any Urge To Have Sex....ever!
She Never Masturbated, Or Even Came Close To Orgasm...she Wont Let Herself.
Recently She Has Just Been "trying" To Loosen Up So That I Can Get Her To Orgasm.
Wont Work.....she Wont Let Me Pleasure Her Orally And My Fingers Dont Do Anything...she Gets Way To Nervous To Even Feel It Let Alone Enjoy It....
What Do I Do??
Posted Tue Oct 27, 2009 03:56 PM
If she wouldn't have sex before you were married, there is probably a reason. Religion?
A lot of girls are taught that sex is bad and dirty. I really think that this is a disservice. I was raised in a very religious family, and I refused to have sex for years simply because the guilt would outweigh the pleasure.
It sounds like your wife needs education more than anything else. If she's religious, I suggest finding materials on sexuality that are specific to your religion. If it's another reason, try to find something that will validate her beliefs and feelings without overwhelming her.
The good news is that girls who are fairly extreme in this approach can turn out to be extremist in the other direction (i.e. kinky) when they start to believe that it's not a bad thing.
Posted Wed Oct 28, 2009 05:50 AM
Posted Wed Oct 28, 2009 03:28 PM
A) I am going on a limb and assuming her decision to wait till marriage was religious, as it usually is and say lik one of the previous ppl said, she has had it forced into her that sex is taboo and wrong under any circumstances except with husband, etc etc.
She was sexually abused at some time in her childhood.
Or both. Either way, it seems like something discussion and possibly couples counseling would help with.
Posted Thu Oct 29, 2009 01:25 AM
If the cause is religion, remind her that you are married and God favors sex within the context of marriage. In fact, nothing in the bible says that married sex can't or shouldn't feel good - He made sex feel great, to tell the truth, and there is no reason not to fully partake in this gift He has given you both. People don't like to think of God and sex as related concepts, but if she believes in God and accepts that He is the all-powerful and infallible Creator, then she must accept that He created her with certain sexual organs and feelings and that this is not a mistake. She is married now, so she should go for it.
If her hesitancy is caused by a lack of comfort with her own body, then constant positive reinforcement is needed. You are married, remember, so you have time to build her up and do this right - slow and steady wins the race. If it helps, take a shower or bath together first so she feels fresh and clean when you try to go down there again.
Or you could just get her drunk.
Posted Thu Oct 29, 2009 01:30 AM
Posted Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:44 PM
Posted Thu Oct 29, 2009 05:11 PM