I would like some advice
Posted Tue Nov 03, 2009 07:27 PM
I am the age of 22 and I have never had sex, I've had dates in the past that never worked out, and quite frankly I am nervous around women. So nervous that at times I have hard times holding conversations. at a halloween party this weekend I met a woman, and I've been texting her and talking to her over the phone. We have a date set up for friday night, But I don't know what to do if the date gets off good.
I know that I'd probably be a dud in the bed as it would be my first time, that could put a bad image onto me, and also I'm worried about expectations in terms of grooming. I don't know what a woman expects in a man
I'm too embarrassed to admit this to my friends and I hope to make new friends on this forum and get advice from this forum. Please help me.
Posted Tue Nov 03, 2009 07:53 PM
As for conversation, just talk and listen to her! Ask her questions about her self, and talk about your self. Smile and be confident.
As for grooming, just be clean! If she's going on a date with you, she finds you attractive enough to go on a date with, that's a shoe in already for you! Shower, use nice smelling body wash, Trim any excess body hair, shave, brushg your teeth, do you hair nice, make sure you wear clean underwear, clean socks and clean clothes! Wear some body spay, only a little. We like it subtle. Listen to your fav music when you're getting ready, pump your self up, she likes you or she wouldn't be going on a date with you!!!!
If you really think you're going to have sex with her on the Friday, maybe masturbate before you get ready for the date. That might help you last a little longer the first time. As long as she knows it's your first time, she's not going to expect you to know all the moves!
And listen to her, ask her to tell you what she likes, get her to show you what she likes, and how to do it.
Good luck, and remember.............
CONFIDENCE CONFIDENCE CONFIDENCE!!!!!!
Posted Tue Nov 03, 2009 07:55 PM
Posted Tue Nov 03, 2009 07:59 PM
Posted Tue Nov 03, 2009 08:05 PM
Listen to her, ask her what she likes to do and talk about what you like to do.
Don't overthink anything bro. That will drive you nuts just starting out. Have fun and dont be all over her. Give her space. Don't be texting her too much or calling constantly. Girls want to be wanted but also not driven crazy by pursuing them.
Dont always be available. Text her back within a reasonable amount of time to be respectful but don't just be on standby texting back within a few minutes. Let her wait a little. Tell her you were busy but don't tell her everything you were doing. Be a little mysterious but not too much.
As far as getting to the date:
The previous posts were correct. Be clean and use a body wash, no overdosing with the cologne. As far as other grooming, if you don't know whats socially acceptable for your age group, then I would suggest a nice trim if you have too much hair. Most young girls shave everything or leave a little bit. I would suggest doing the same as far as your cock area. No young girl outside an Amish commune wants an eagles nest in ur pants.
Do something unique on your date. Go to a park for a walk or something besides a movie.
Don't jerk off before your date. That is lame. Be yourself and if it works out, it will. Good luck bro.
Posted Tue Nov 03, 2009 08:13 PM
I know it takes a lot of guts to post this, but I very much appreciate the answers. You can expect to see me around this forum a little more. I feel my questions are answered appropriately
my closest friends know about my lack of sex, however I didn't feel comfortable asking them these questions. Thanks
Posted Tue Nov 03, 2009 08:53 PM
Posted Tue Nov 03, 2009 08:59 PM
example is i worked till 3, phone died, pluged it into my car charger after work, went to a doctors appointment at 4, phone didn't charge till 5ish. but that's off topic. I find texting her kind of is loosening me up for the date on friday. I'm finding out more about what we have in common.
Posted Tue Nov 03, 2009 09:05 PM
Sorry for hijacking your thread.
Posted Tue Nov 03, 2009 09:18 PM
Thank you! As busy as I am, I will at least text back saying I'm busy or working or driving or whatever. The only time I don't respond is when I'm asleep, but even then I will respond in the morning.
Now back to the topic at hand, I agree with what the women here have said, but would just like to add that you need to use a condom when/if you decide to sleep with this (or any other) girl.
Posted Tue Nov 03, 2009 09:48 PM
Posted Tue Nov 03, 2009 10:53 PM
As far as confidence is concerned, even though you haven't had sex before...I know you've imagined it in your mind, and I'm willing to bet you've seen a porn or two. So right out of the gate you know how the equipment is suppose to work. Eye contact exudes confidence...so keep eye contact and smile when you talk. That will be enough.
Since you are going to a comedy club it doesn't give you a lot of one on one time to talk, but it's great to have something to talk about after the show. Take mental notes at what she laughs at...don't stare, just pay attention. Keep these laugh triggers in mind when you go get ice cream or coffee whatever after the show. Ask her questions about her based on those laugh points.
When you go to meet or her to pick her up. Tell her she looks great (stunning is a good word to use here) and pick something specific...like eyes, hair, or outfit...but be specific. A compliment always relaxes the other person.
Oh and if you have to stand in line, when you walk forward you can usually get away with putting your hand in the small of her back above her hips to guide her like in a dance. Women like this and it shows confidence. You'll get a read in the car before hand if she is apprehensive.
See now you're probably like I don't need pre-date advice...but you do, this will also help build your confidence and keep you relaxed. Women can smell apprehension...so don't let on beforehand.
Other compliments, like "What is that you're wearing, you smell wonderful!" Also play well when smattered randomly into the conversation. After her response say "You wear that well..." then leave it alone.
When you are talking to her and asking your questions afterwords, compliment her smile somewhere in there too.
Now as for knowing if you're going to get some - don't even think about that...the anticipation will show on your face so let it go. You may only get some tongue action and heavy petting at first, no big deal...it's a good start. But here is how you tell she is interested if she gives you great eye contact and smiles a lot. If she reaches out and touches your hand or arm when you are talking.
Finally if you do get the go ahead...as that song goes...be a man with a slow hand. Even though you want to hit that shit real bad, use some self control and tease her. Start with the breasts...no squeezing, just light touches with your fingers...it's easy just to go straight for the nipple, but remember you're taking it slow. Use your tongue and soft suction kisses. Don't forget your compliments! "Oh my, you have incredibly sexy breasts!"
Then work your way down her stomach, but leave her panties on at first...don't jump on the goods right away...warm her up by sliding your hand over the top of her pantie line then slid down her thigh and back up her inner thigh just grazing her pussy with your hand. Do that a couple times and then work your way down there with your mouth. Remember to tease with soft kisses and tongue. Remember slow...you do enough of this stuff and she'll put your cock in her pussy herself. Compliments! "Damn, you have the softest skin!" or stop look her in the eye and say..."Your skin is the best I've ever had the pleasure to put my mouth on..." smile then go back to work.
Again when you go slow, pause every once in a while and compliment as you are working the landscape it shows confidence and experience (even if you don't have much).
At this point she'll either take the reins or you'll need to stop and start stripping off your clothes (if she hasn't done so already) You can stop totally, tell her she looks so sexy and then say "Are you ready for more?" If she says yes then ask her to help you with the rest of your clothes. And this is the moment where you break out the condom. That is the go or no go point which you can read on her face or by her actions. Ask if she wants to help put it on...
When ready, go back down with your mouth for a minute or two then raise back up between her legs and use your hand to position and push it in slow. Watch her response to throttle your forward movement. You may have to back out once, which is good. Once you're in stay in for a few to 10 seconds and stall with a frank compliment "Oh my god, you feel amazing!" Then start slow pumping motions...if you get to excited, stop for a sec and make some noise of pleasure, this will distract your mind.
More than likely though if she is into you and more experienced then she will probably do a lot of the work. If you cum quick in a hot and heavy usually girls will give you a break, but don't apologize...just say "Damn, you got me way too hot that time, but I'm ready for round two whenever you are...can we take this next one slow, it's been a while since I've been with someone as ravishing as you."
Compliments and confidence.
You know what to do...don't think about it, feel it. If you really want to learn read (that's right, I said it...READ) some good erotica to understand the feeling of it instead of the visual porn of what it looks like. It will give you some great tips and help you be a much better lover. Start with most anything by Susie Bright.
Posted Wed Nov 04, 2009 03:06 AM
Posted Wed Nov 04, 2009 05:22 AM
I betcha they would sense a quality guy versus a user and loser. Woman like a guy who is neat and clean and knows where he is going in life. Get to know them a bit before you get intimate. If you hop into bed on a first date, it will leave you wondering and confused about how many others and where you go from there. G
Posted Wed Nov 04, 2009 08:50 AM
couldn't agree more!!
Posted Wed Nov 04, 2009 12:19 PM
thats what i was gonna say lol
every woman is different. you cant expect to satisfy any particular one of them if you've just met. but look+smell clean is key to success with women(vice versa too i suppose)
Posted Wed Nov 04, 2009 04:56 PM
She's right, don't play games and don't be someone you're not. She will find out if you've lied to her and it WILL backfire on you. Woman have an uncanny way of finding out the truth, trust me I know.
Be honest and be yourself, it'll go a long way. And don't expect sex on the first date, very few women will fuck a guy on the first date.
I know what I'm talking about, I've been around the block a few times.
Posted Wed Nov 04, 2009 05:56 PM
foshow. no sex on the first date. play hard to get b
dont even trip about having sex .
If you have sex on the first date and she dont like it well your pretty much F*C*D
so try not to have sex even if you know youll make her happy
Posted Thu Nov 05, 2009 06:08 AM
She seems very approachable with any subject I throw at her, and I feel that when the time comes she will understand my situation. Thank you everybody for helping me with the confidence part the confidence really paid off.