I don't think i should be posting this, being a guy and all. But i got emailed this and thought i'd share. You girls might like this.
for the girls this is a serious giggle.........
for the guys, get a pen and paper and take notes!!!!!
Hope you like this...
Women Demerit Point System
What every man, married or otherwise, needs to know about women.
This clarifies things quite a bit! For thousands of years, men have tried to
understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this
merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:
You make the bed.....+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows...0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
You leave the toilet seat up.....-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.... -2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings...+5
In the snow ....+8
But return with beer.....-5
And no liners.....-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5
You pummel it with a six iron.....+10
It's her cat.....-40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party.....0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College
Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
With breast implants.....-18
You remember her birthday.....0
You buy a card and flowers.....0
You take her out to dinner.....0
You take her out to dinner and it's does not have Sky Sports.+1
Okay, it has Sky Sports.....-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3
It has Sky Sports, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the
colours of your favourite team ...-10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal.....0
The pal is happily married.....+1
The pal is single.....-7
He drives a Ferrari.....-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie.....+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
You take her to a movie you like.....-2
It's called Death Cop III.....-3
Which features Cyborgs that crush human skulls.....-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans..-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly....-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it.....+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....-800
THE BIG QUESTION: She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding.....-10
You reply, "Where?".....-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your @ss".....-100
Any other response.....-20
COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....0
You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience..+50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying "well, what do you think I should do?".....-100
You have fallen asleep.....-200
IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You don't talk.....-150
You spend time with her.-200
You don't spend time with her.....-500
You seem to be enjoying yourself..-1000
GAME OVER - YOU LOSE
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