Sex has become kind of boring
Posted Wed Dec 09, 2009 12:56 AM
So sex with my girlfriend has become kind of boring. We are both 20 and have been dating for a little over 2 years. Everything besides the sex is great, shes fun to hang out with and I love her. But when we have sex its me on top or occasionaly her on top. Every so often we will do different positions but that is very rare. I know that me on top is her favorite position because she gets off almost every time, which is the reason why thats always the position we end up in.
We do talk about sex sometimes. Mostly when im gone for the summer, I thinks its only to keep me interested though. She does say she wants to be tied up/ tie me up, she even bought handcuffs but they have never been used. She says she wants to roleplay but it never happens either. When I suggest things we should try she will mostly be ok with the ideas but then never really want to do it. When we first started dating I would always suggest thing we should try or that I wanted to try and I would get responses like it doesnt matter, we can if you want, i dont care which is a real turn off so I just stoped trying. I think part of the reason is that she never says what she wants. It took me over a year to find out she likes to have her nipples lightly bit and the only reason I found that out is because she bit mine so I bit her back and she liked it. I asked her why she never told me and all she said was I dont know. I got her to tell me some of her fantasys and things she wants to try. They all sounded like fun so I told her I want to do them but she has to be the one to say hey lets do this! and it has never happened.
I have tried the sex toys a bit. I bought her flavored lube and 1001 sex games as part of her birthday present. The lube was used once she decided it wasnt that good and I havent seen it since. The sex games I was really excited for. I opened it up and looked at it before I gave it to her. It has those sex dice, the ones that are like kiss face those kind, and a bunch of different card games and stuff like that you can build your own games it was pretty cool. I decided seeing as it was her present I will let her choose when to use it. Her birthday was in early may, the first time she even opened it was late august she chose to use the sex dice then wondered why I didnt seem into it.
Sorry this is so long I just wanted to get some ideas on how to make things more interesting. What is the best way to bring it up ? She is taking me on a little 3 day vacation on the weekend as part of a christmas gift so we will have a hotel room to ourselves. I figured this would be a good time to try some stuff out.
Posted Wed Dec 09, 2009 04:40 AM
you guys need to try different environments. like public places.
Posted Wed Dec 09, 2009 04:59 AM
Fun thing to do.
Try sex in the living room. Dim the lights. Turn on a seductive movie that you both picked out...throw a sheet on the couch and get semi-naked. Maybe put a sheet over both of you. Try to hold off for a long time...cuddling, laughing,eating snacks, drinking a little wine with a little foreplay here and there. It is better because you are not focused entirely on sex until finally you both get so hot you just have to break loose.If you boil over quick, go back for more. Because you are watching scenes that turn you BOTH on.. it becomes memorable and fun to talk about later. Gregorio
This post has been edited by Gregorio: Wed Dec 09, 2009 05:01 AM
Posted Wed Dec 09, 2009 07:23 AM
Posted Wed Dec 09, 2009 01:37 PM
Work this in to my last post.
Posted Wed Dec 09, 2009 05:49 PM
Posted Wed Dec 09, 2009 09:21 PM
I agree with making it last. I have become pretty good at lasting longer, I can usually last until she comes. But I really have to concentrate on it. Sometimes that does take away the fun for me. Sex in the living room would be fun, but hard because we both live at home. We dont get the house to ourselves very often which could be part of the problem.
I have tried suggesting things. I dont get a no but I dont really get a yes. It's more like "If you want", "It doesnt matter to me", "I dont care". It never seems like she is into it at all. I havent actually tried much without asking her because im not really sure if she is into it. Also what are some good ways to tie her up when both our beds dont have anything to tie someone up to ? I agree, I dont think she is the dominant type. But all the roleplays she said she wants to try have her in the dominant role.
We have watched porn together. She usually enjoys it and gets turned on by it. The sex is still pretty much the same except she is horny so she is more into it. I have suggested she should pick out a porno and we could try acting it out, but no luck there. She does need a foreplay training video though, inless she is really horny I dont get much foreplay.
I was thinking of maybe trying to talk to her about it ? See what her thoughts are. One thing she has said is she would like to makeout more. Which I would like too, but if she isnt really horny her making out is just quick little pecks no mouth movement or tongue. I find that really boring and its not even really making out. I have tried making out with her more but its hard when her mouth is closed and not moving at all.
Posted Thu Dec 10, 2009 06:26 AM
Sex in public places can come with a stiff fine and character labels that I'm sure neither of you need.
What seems rather randy, thrilling and mischievous can turn sour and actually hurt sex in the future. If a younger, say for example under 12 person, gets an eyeful and tells their parents, you can almost be sure real trouble will follow..not necessarily legal either.
Posted Thu Dec 10, 2009 06:55 AM
one thing ive learnt from my girl is being spontanious can definately go a LONG Way in the bedroom.
treat her to a romantic meal, possibly cooked by yourself if you can cook. treat her like a princess. Then using some sort of witchcraft (this is your night, not mine ) get her into the bedroom..
blindfold her, and then you can let any of yours, or her, fantasies.
from what i can tell, she is shy about sex (i may be completely wrong), so the blindfold works wonders, as does being spontanious.
hope i helped
Posted Thu Dec 10, 2009 01:22 PM
Posted Thu Dec 10, 2009 05:14 PM
Posted Mon May 10, 2010 10:19 AM
Hope this helps.
Posted Mon May 10, 2010 10:32 AM
We do talk about sex sometimes. . She does say she wants to be tied up/ tie me up, she even bought handcuffs but they have never been used. She says she wants to roleplay but it never happens either. When I suggest things we should try she will mostly be ok with the ideas but then never really want to do it. . I got her to tell me some of her fantasys and things she wants to try. They all sounded like fun so I told her I want to do them but she has to be the one to say hey lets do this! and it has never happened.
No offense...but sounds like a lotta talk talk talk....with no follow through. Take the bold first step and get this party stated! Maybe thats exactly what she's waitin for!