Docter says I have cancer. FUCK
Posted Sun Feb 07, 2010 12:48 PM
I thought that my life was turned around, that now I could actually live, but no. Maybe my past life I was a jerk, maybe I was hitler. Seems like the way my life was it was the right punishment. As a child abused, father forching me drugs for his entertainment, and resulting in my drug addiction that I got out of. but the light at the end of the tunnel turns out to be a train. I just cant take it anymore. And if I survive this, will I be free from all this shit or will there be more down the road lined up for me? After all the shit I been through in my life, which was pretty all my life, I would of thought that after finally getting things right I might have a chance at a normal life. Guess I was wrong. I AM SICK OF THIS!!!
just need to vent.
Posted Sun Feb 07, 2010 12:51 PM
Posted Sun Feb 07, 2010 01:03 PM
you can pm me if you like, I have had a very recent experience with Breast cancer (not me) and it is the most curable cancer nowadays.
you sweetheart there is no knowing when these things are going to strike but the positive side is that you have been diagnosed.
keep heart my love, you know that we are here for you here, if you want to talk or if you just want to sit and say nothing.
I wish I could wave a wand and take this away from you.
its no-where near enough but I hope you know that we really are here and we really do care
Posted Sun Feb 07, 2010 01:07 PM
How cruel life can be foxy x
and what Duches says
Posted Sun Feb 07, 2010 01:31 PM
Some would say that my hatred for my father is what keeps me strong, and that in a way he is helping me, but I wont give him that credit.
I am not going to let this kill me. I wont let my father the honor of out living me, I am the one that will dance on his grave.
Well if this girl I am seeing wont run after I tell her about my past and this, maybe things wont be so bad after all. Just hope she doesnt run, only girl I have met in a long time that I actually felt trust with.
Still pretty fucking pissed off. Wont go back into my old habbits though, took too fucking long to get out of and it controled most of my life.
Posted Sun Feb 07, 2010 01:40 PM
good luck and we are all here for you
take care xxxx and hugs
Posted Sun Feb 07, 2010 01:49 PM
Good luck Liquid - vent all you need to here and feel free to send all the pm's you want.
Posted Sun Feb 07, 2010 02:09 PM
Thoughts and prayers.
Posted Sun Feb 07, 2010 02:56 PM
If I may offer some advice is to continue your life as usual and carry on with your hopes and projects. I agree with Easy that you shouldn't be having negative thoughts of any kind at this moment... I understand that your will to better yourself in life is very strong and that you draw a lot of courage and pride for having overcome your dark past, and that's very understandable. However, that's in the past. At this moment you have to focus in overcoming the present so that you can strive to have a happy future, and just by reading your posts, I have no doubts that that is what's going to happen.
I agree that strength and courage can come from very strange places, but don't make it an objective, just draw from the fact that you vanquished whatever obstacles in your life so that now you can start trusting others again. Thinking that we're alone in life is bull shit... We're never alone, and whatever we do can affect others in a substancial way, and for that you just need to look around at the people who appreciate you as a person, a friend, or a loved one. In my case, I've made it a priority to take care of my health so I can be there for my children who are still young. I am a single mother, and I have no backup, so if ever something happens to me, that's it... my children won't have any one to take care of them. God forbids that, and God forbid that someone with your potential should suffer anymore. Be brave...
Posted Sun Feb 07, 2010 06:08 PM
I used the wrong "here" last time, but I think you know what I meant.
This post has been edited by Morgan: Sun Feb 07, 2010 06:13 PM
Posted Sun Feb 07, 2010 09:36 PM