About cougarism Is anyone here feeling bad for this?
Posted Thu Feb 18, 2010 04:52 PM
Posted Sat Feb 20, 2010 09:38 AM
I always thought of it as an insult, personally. Of course i'm only 23 so i never had the word directed at me. I've never thought of it in terms that you described. I just see a Cougar as a LOT older woman with a very young man. I am one of the many people, for whatever reason, who does not think that's cool. However, older men with younger women don't bother me all that much. I know it's wrong, just how i see things. One rubs me wrong, one doesn't. *shrug*
Posted Sun Feb 21, 2010 09:31 PM
I don't understand the term "cougar"... I guess it implies some measure of desperation in the older woman who sees herself forced to go out and prey on younger men because she doesn't stand a chance on her own.
I don't know if that is the case for every single older woman, but it is definitely not my case. I go out often with younger men, this is really not difficult, and I always make sure that it's the guy (of any age) making the move. The last thing I'd want is to feel like if I'm pushing things... I suppose I'm old fashioned that way. Believe me, I am NOT a hunter...
Having said that, I'm old enough not to care about stigmas or stupid preconceptions of what is right and wrong. There's nothing wrong in an older woman/younger man relationship if they're of legal age and in full consent. Personally, I wouldn't entertain a relationship with an 18 year old... I believe young people should figure out the basics amongst themselves, and this goes also for girls.
Now, why so many people think OW/YM relationships are wrong? I'd have to say, it's because it shakes the status quo a little bit. My ex-husband would feel a lot more comfortable thinking that I'm at home cooking for the children instead of being on a date with a hot young man. Maybe some of the younger women may find this a little untasteful, but fortunately, noone has to live on somebody else's terms.
As for the word "cougar", it also has some ridicule built into it. I don't know if the person who coined it was thinking of an older woman like Edith Bunker as opposed to someone like Demi Moore... so, I figure it must've been a man with outdated ideas of how women look when they age. The truth is that a lot of women are taking care of themselves quite well these days, and they definitely don't look like their mothers at the same age.
In my humble opinion, older woman/young men relationships are a good social change... It signals more equality between the sexes.
This post has been edited by Olive: Sun Feb 21, 2010 09:32 PM
Posted Sun Feb 21, 2010 09:43 PM
She was 37 and married a 21 year old. She was and still is a stunning woman, she doesnt look her age at all and my step dad is 5 years older than my husband!
I don't think Cougar was ever meant as any more demeaning a term than milf but I suppose it depends how you look at it.
My brother called my mum a Cougar one day when the term became popular and she was delighted, she's in her 60's now with a 45 year old husband and she thinks the phrase is hilarious.
She said she liked being likened to such a graceful feline.
Posted Sun Feb 21, 2010 09:52 PM
I couldn't tell you for sure how it is in Ontario, but I guess I'll find out at some point or another...
Posted Sun Feb 21, 2010 10:56 PM
Posted Mon Feb 22, 2010 12:12 PM
Posted Mon Feb 22, 2010 12:20 PM
Posted Mon Feb 22, 2010 01:54 PM
LOL, I guess the victims of these two types of predators (cougars and gold diggers) are always men... Poor little things, they're so vulnerable and defenseless...
Posted Tue Feb 23, 2010 03:00 AM
This is true Mlle. Olive, but I'd still be your vulnerable and defenseless victim any day! Please use the claws sparingly...