Ancient stuff about cheating How far your mind stretch?
Posted Tue Apr 06, 2010 08:40 PM
I will rant and talk about stuff you might have never heard before. So this is a long ride of reading and many of you may flame me because of things written. If you clearly have time to read, open mind to accept things and patience to see my way, then here it is... take your time and read through it all... if you agree or disagree with me drop a comment. Thanks!
Chapter One: Ancient stuff about cheating (its the only chapter =D )
Cheating. Society's way into telling you that your violating the marriage, agreement of mutual chemical interest (or commonly known as love) through series of finding, dating, going out with other partners and having deep intimate bonding, either on just physical or psychological level.
Society has gone long way from the agricultural past, we advanced in everything and even in cheating. At first, wars were on the line because of three things: 1. Gold/Silver 2. Spices 3. Women
Men kept women to themselves. And they satisfied their urges "mostly" with the one chosen woman who sits home, does the dishes, takes care of the kids and holds her individuality because she is owned by a man. In other words - she is a slave. But even as a slave, the usual girl at that point in time is exactly same as this girl in point in time (and I mean the modern 21st century girl)... she had no control over her emotions. Urges repressed, chemical dynamite ready to explode... and shes holding this all to herself. Guess what happens after a while? B O O M!
And who is mostly responsible?
The church! Well, back then it wasn't still the church, just one guy!
I will try to not seriously mutilate religion, sorry to those who are deeply involved. Religion has a cure for the cancer called cheating - YOUR SOUL WILL BURN IN HELL! And to make it even worse, you hear this from your mother, father, siblings and friends who are involved into religion. You hide your urges, repress them and hope in sadness that they won't last... long.
Historically its even worse. How did it all began?
One man ( we will name him Gussy the Wussy ) had absolutely no balls millions of years ago, and when all men and women were enjoying an utopia of endless pleasures, when women were free to whore around and reproduce... Our friend Gussy, couldn't get laid! No matter what he did, he couldn't get some of that ancient fine fucking. He tried and tried and tried... and snapped. He had no balls to "take" women and he got frustrated why he couldn't get any. But he thought of something really really cool. He thought of creating a super-natural deity that has already created an after-life or pure envy and peace; that the only ticket in was to be *cough* religiously one with God. So Gussy being a politically important or at least a rich person with influence decided to give it a go. He suggested this to be a LAW given by the all-mighty ( and of course, God even today is a white-bearded guy in the clouds - a man )... and in some lucky events such as his, lets say that he puts his speech of misery in front of the whole world in those moments of existence. And when he says the word "God" a thunder bolt hits a nearby tree. Nobody knew about weather then, nor about electrical discharge... so they all witness the power of God and the LAW of Gussy the Wussy. From then, its all fear-based respect towards the one with more power than us. The Law was elected, and it became religion. And in it, said that one woman for one man, and it was a man's job and ultimate burden to take care of the woman. A man will work, woman will cook. And having Gussy having all the gold or the spices, he now became eligibly "Fine catch" for women.
Crazy huh? You have full right to say "No, no... cmon this can't be right!" to this. But can you fully confirm its not true?
So what does this have to do with my topic?
Cheating is a state of mind forced upon the stupid undeveloped human-mind by a bitter but smart wussy guy in the past. And through those millions of years, this law was a binding circle to each individual. And those who didn't accepted - suffered. Some didn't care ( like me, I dare ask the taboo questions ) but some were exiled, named impure, unholy, witches, demons, and my personal favorite - THE DEVIL. WHO THE FUCK INVENTED THIS FORSAKEN WORD!?
All the way today, we live and obey this law. Even people like me have serious mind battle from the things that grew natural since ancient times. I bet you do as well, at least those of you who know the feeling. And I guess many of you do.
You sit home and fight a battle against many undesired emotions, many from which you already KNEW they were gonna hit you hard bottom. Emotions like:
4. Social Pressure
I am here to save you all and tell you that this IS NOT normal. And when you read this rant of mine over and over again, you will see that emotionally and logically I atleast have right about a part if not all of it. Yes? Really yes? No? Anyway, its cool.
Then again, if this is not normal for us, then its okay to cheat right?
Now the part where even I haven't swallowed yet, this is the reason why this post is up and I wrote many lines of text for all of you to read and think about. And this is it.
IF CHEATING IS NOT NORMAL, AND WE ARE BORN TO REPRODUCE AND HAVE MANY MEN/WOMEN WITHOUT ANY KIND OF EMOTIONAL OR PHYSICAL TORMENT, THEN IS IT OKAY TO ESCAPE SOCIETY, RELIGION, BELIEFS ABOUT LOVE AND ROMANCE AND GO BACK TO THE UTOPIA WE CAME FROM?
And as an additional few things I like to point out a few bits and pieces about myself; I won't go into details, just scratch the surface.
- In relationship, when everything is going really really well and I feel confident to the edge of my soul, I pretty much think how would it be to have more than one girl. Maybe not for all the time; but a play girl or girls, one two three that will entertain me and the girl I'm with. And nobody will think this as being a bastard, a douche, a jackass jerk that nobody wants around. Cheating is my way out or a need for my ancient life - sex with as many women as I want. And to care and give them security, freedom as myself. So cheating in relationships to me is either:
1. Way out from an unfulfilled need
2. Beastly Manly Aphrodisiac
-When I masturbate I find myself excited in fucking a woman I am not supposed to fuck, in place that would be deemed immoral in a time that it surely isn't the right one. I have done this before, and the women were just not happy with the way they were treated ( read the reason above ) and needed my manly beast to ravish them out of the social and religious conditioning they were forced upon. And strangely - they loved it. I bet many of you had moments like these and you were hooked like junkies on heroin to the danger, excitement and fear all in one cocktail. You drank it all, loved its fiery pleasure with burning feedback. Nice!
-I sometimes want a girl's friends more than I want her. This is simple - many of you know that the forbidden apple, tastes sweeter than any apple that you can have. In other words, we want what we don't have. Its not the thing we really want, its the ROAD till we get the thing that we like so much. Its the excitement, anxiety and fear that we desperately crave for the thing we don't know much about, we don't know how to have that and wish for it in our mental ways.
-Sometimes evil kicks in and I love hurting other guys ( wussies ) by banging their woman the right way because they really don't deserve her. Its like a payback for that Gussy, you know. Happened to me lots of times, I am not a guy that would fuck a girl just to hurt a friend of mine. But with a guy that doesn't deserve a girl like her and doesn't treat her right, simply said doesn't need the miracle her pussy and raw feminine spirit gives.
There it is. I do not expect positive comments, but if you just read through this atleast once, I know you have found something that sparkles your lust to tell me stuff. So don't be shy and don't fear sharing your thoughts. Will wait to see who writes what.
Posted Wed Apr 07, 2010 12:21 AM
Posted Wed Apr 07, 2010 02:20 PM
Anyway, no thoughts about cheating inside it?
Play girls? Booty call? Secret-10-minute-shags?
Has your woman admit she thought about cheating?
Your life is private and thank you for sharing whatever it is you want about it.
Posted Sat Apr 10, 2010 12:14 PM
Good luck with that.
Posted Sat Apr 10, 2010 03:03 PM
Historically speaking, I think that some of our negative feelings related to cheating (and the possibility that our partners may cheat us) have their root in natural instincts of reproductive behaviour, mate selection and mate control. Basically, cheating carries the risk that males will invest their energy and sources into offsprings which do not carry their genes. From this perspective of evolutionary psychology it seems logical that some males will try to prevent their partners from cheating and these males will possibly try to have sex with females outside their primary relationship. Metaphorically speaking "I hate the idea of my wife´s infidelity but I love the idea of my neighbour´s wife´s infidelity if she decides to cheat on her husband, preferrably with me" - males with this "strategy" were probably quite successful in spreading their genes into the gene-pool of human race...
Anyway, these aspects have been elaborated by evolutionary biologists/psychologists into many details, so it depends on the readers whether they agree with this scientific explanation or not.
But if you would like to get really depressed, I suggest reading the book Sperm Wars by Robin Baker:)
OK, in our everyday life and our decisions we usually do not keep in (conscious) mind the perspective of human gene-pool, so it may be quite irrelevant here.
As for practical aspects of cheating I do not advocate any firm position in general. As for me personal feelings and experience, it depends on different circumstances and mainly on the value which I attribute to the relationship in which I participate. It can be a matter of costs and benefits. However appealing the idea of having sex with other girls may be (let´s be unrealistic and suppose that I have the opportunities:), I wouldn´t go for it if the possible costs are bigger than possible benefits.
The possible costs are not just being caught and probably losing the relationship which is more valuable than the sexual encounter outside this relationship, but the costs include also potential deterioration of the quality of the primary relationship as a result of unpredictable changes which may occur within me as a result of cheating (even if it was kept secret). I mean emotional changes in me, but also some unpredictable reactions and actions done by the new girl -which may or may not be the result of such experience.
Anyway, even if we forget about so called "moral principles" (which may be fake or which we may not believe in), it is not so easy. There is also some degree of risk factors and unpredictability. So also from the standpoint of a total "egoist" it can be useful to think twice and act just after you are sure that you have taken into consideration all the possible outcomes of cheating, all its costs and benefits and the probability that these costs and benefits will occur as a result of your actions.
OK, I must admit that this calculation may take some time and it is possible that while you are absorbed in balancing the costs and benefits, the opportunity may escape from you:) But at least some instinctive calculation can be helpful in order to avoid future negative impacts on your well-being...
Posted Sat Apr 10, 2010 04:06 PM
I absolutely loved that book! It changed my perspective on female sexuality.
Posted Sun Apr 11, 2010 06:53 AM
I loved that book too. It opened new perspectives for me as well. Reading it was a great experience for me, we read it together with my girlfriend, so it was mutually very enriching and inspiring source of discussions for us.
By saying that remark about "getting depressed" I meant that while reading it I got slightly paranoid about the cheating issues in the book and by the high number of children whose biological father was different from the partner who thinks that these children are his.
But undoubtedly it is a great book. By the way, do you know any internet sites where I could find more studies or articles written by R.Baker? I would love to know more about his work and theories...
Posted Sun Apr 11, 2010 07:55 AM
Apparently Baker also wrote an academic version of the book. You could try looking for that.
There is a new book coming out that I'm excited to read. It's called "Sex at Dawn", which promises to shed further light on sexuality.
Paternal uncertainty is indeed scary and depressing, especially in a patrilineal society because wealth and status (the family name, etc) passes generally from husband to wife to children.
A lot of countries now are in a transition though. Some see it as breakdown of society; but it might be the next transition of family structure as we shift from an industrial/agricultural age to an information age, especially now that the industrial/agrarian/patrilineal lifestyle is becoming unsustainable (unchecked & exponential population growth, environmental degradation, huge wealth gaps within and between societies).
I think that the information age will probably allow for the return of some degree of fluid sexuality like was present for most of human history before agriculture. For example, today paternity tests (information) are becoming increasingly cheaper and available.
just my 2 cents though.
Posted Sun Apr 11, 2010 12:41 PM
Use of the word "ancient" implies that your justification has at least some degree of historical truth. What you've done in Chapter 1 is make up a conspiracy theory, a fairy tale, and some untruths. The way it reads is that you threw that all into a blender and picked out sentences at random to create an incoherent argument to justify being an opportunist in your sex life.
Not cheating requires discipline - not commitment to ideologies made up by "the church." It takes good and strong character - not conformity to some establishment. By your justification, atheists would have no reason not to cheat. Yet, they decide not to without anyone forcing them to.We all have urges.
What separates us from the primates at the zoo is having the mental capacity to understand that we must moderate our urges for the betterment of ourselves and our society. That's discipline - a quality you don't seem to put much stock in thereby earning your place as bottom-feeder on the societal ladder.
To be clear, I believe that our primal nature is part of what make a man; denying that it exists is, in fact, conformity. But it is only one of the characteristics that makes a man strong. Men who possess additional characteristics like strength and discipline are the ones that are responsible for society's progression and are the glue that hold it all together. They possess qualities that have been demonstrated in the original post to not be held in high regard....I like a well thought out argument.
Even if someone is being the Devil's advocate, I'm inclined to listen and may even come down on your side of it. What you've presented sounds hastily put together and meant only to spark reaction to what you must know are outrageous proclamations. If however, what you've written is truly what you believe, then my statements implying that this type of attitude constitutes poor character - are directed at you or anyone who thinks that this attitude makes them more of a man.
This post has been edited by High-T: Sun Apr 11, 2010 12:42 PM
Posted Mon Apr 12, 2010 01:06 AM
Posted Mon Apr 12, 2010 07:57 AM