in love with my guitarist mixed messages
Posted Mon Apr 19, 2010 03:27 PM
Posted Mon Apr 19, 2010 06:34 PM
Posted Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:23 PM
You do realize that you set the standard by letting him keep YOUR truck while you continued to pay for it even though it left you without a vehicle, right? And now he wants you two to live together because it would be financially beneficial.... for him. And he gets blow jobs. What kind of guy wouldn't want that? But you don't want to cross the line by sticking his dick in any other orifice?
Please, please, PLEASE, run away from him as fast as you possibly can. Or better yet, take that truck back and drive away as fast as you can.
Posted Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:54 PM
so what do you think???
You know, this kind of thread is never asking for advice, it's asking for affirmation. And I'm going to give it to you:
Don't worry about anything, honey, he loves you right back. It shines through in every part of your story. And in two years he'll make an excellent father.
Posted Tue Apr 20, 2010 08:01 AM
Posted Tue Apr 20, 2010 11:04 AM
Ya know, the advice here on SF isn't always perfect but I think it's pretty solid. Don't let your ego keep you from thinking things through.
And in defense of jerry, jenny and ricki, men generally don't send mixed signals. A skittish and/or non-committal or otherwise sketchy-acting man is simply a man waiting for something better to come along or he's got someone else on the side.
And from the sound of your story can you blame him for wanting to keep you around as much as possible without having to bother about making his intentions crystal clear?
Let me ask you this: what do your friends and family think about him? What do his family and friends think about you? Their opinions are probably as close as you're going to get to the truth since you are in love.
Anyway, good luck with it.
Posted Tue Apr 20, 2010 01:52 PM
Posted Tue Apr 20, 2010 03:06 PM
that being said,
he has been very clear with you, as am i and everyone else here on this forum. we as people have an easy time lying to ourselfs at some level to protect emotions that are fear based ::tick:: (<-biological clock) pherimone based ::tick:: or fantasy based ::tick:: our minds are not always being used for rational thought, lots of time is spent, especially in females, thinking deductively.. starting with the image of father/husband/lover and working down from there rather that the image of the man himself and deducing his appropriate role in your life based on his true qualifications and how he's used to treating people.. especially you, in the past. IT IS a good indicator of how things are about to go for you, i'd personally be overjoyed that my first boo boo with this man was a a truck and not a child.
as it happens, our conscious brain has a good lot of control over our thoughts, our faces and our heads and hands, but often people have more trouble getting their bodies (torso, legs, feet) to defy their subconsious brain. this is totally my own theory here, as far as i know, but based on that knowledge, and past experience, i'm willing to wager that you are in fact a woman who has a good sense of herself and knows how she deserves to be treated, and that at a very basic subconsious level you know that something is amiss with this situation and despite your obvious attraction, something at a basic core level of you knows that you do not want to make this alliance, that it would not be healthy for you. right now is your time to regain your autonomy and maintain it. or else i believe that due to your long term teasing attraction, you guys would be screwing eachothers brains out by now.
probably you are hoping that what you are feeling is something like true love, and that if you were to actually sleep with him, that would be it.. no going back love affair of the ages, that you are standing at the flood gates of emotion and that you two bumping your genitals together will open the gates forever, distroying everything in it's wake. but in reality, the reason why you are not sleeping with him is because you are suspicious of him, the smart part of your brain is, anyway.
Posted Tue Apr 20, 2010 03:31 PM
Posted Tue Apr 20, 2010 09:18 PM
Well then, let's get to the answer--
We can't help what signals you're getting, but he's not sending you mixed signals. He's sending you consistent signals that he's using you and doesn't have the same feelings for you that you have for him.
Posted Tue Apr 20, 2010 10:10 PM
Well, maybe that's the problem... I'd suggest that you get out a little more, I mean try to meet other men that are not in your band. If you like to give head, I don't see what the problem would be giving head to other guys.
Nobody wants to live in the past, but it's not wise to ignore patterns of behaviour. Mistakes are one thing, but behaviour is another. Learn the difference plaese.
Posted Wed Apr 21, 2010 09:37 PM
listen to your instincts, your life is too short to spend it with a man you would not trust with it.
Posted Fri Apr 23, 2010 06:47 PM
I have quite a lot of experience with a man like this, who also plays music. However, i have no advice. I admit to being in love with a complete idiot. Doesn't mean i'm stupid enough to date him. Or wait for him. Mixed signals is his MO. I don't think there's anything wrong with giving him head once in awhile. If he's clean. You're probably traveling, you're both "lonely". Just don't let it go to your head, if you can keep it in perspective. I've learned to cope with my feelings, and i just run with it. He obviously doesn't want a relationship with you, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy eachother in your situation.
I'm sure i'm the only one who is going to be saying this, so i'll bare my ass so i may be flagged
Posted Mon Apr 26, 2010 05:54 AM