Sex position help :(
Posted Wed May 12, 2010 03:23 PM
I just registered for some advice.
I've been dating someone for about 12 months, I'm 21 and he's 25, I'm a virgin, he's not and I'm ready to have my first time with him but the problem is I was born with a disabilty, I have spinabifida which causes a curvature of the spine and I slight swelling in middle of my back and he's scared of hurting me.
Which would be the best position so he wouldn't hurt me and I wouldn't strain my back. I'm kinda really scared in a way, not more of him but more of my apperance because of the disabilty and how he'll react
Posted Wed May 12, 2010 06:51 PM
there realy isnt any positions other then missionary that dont work the back muscles..and with missionary I would be afraid of his weight bearing down on you..the only place where I dont think it would be hard on your back is maybe in a pool.
Has your Dr ever said there would be a issue with straining your back?
Posted Thu May 13, 2010 06:42 AM
I did discuss this with my Dr when I was 18 and I asked him which would be the safest way and he mentioned missionary as you said but my partner (didn't have a boyfriend then) would try and not but his weight on me or if that wasn't possible, try spooning as he said it's more gentle.
It wouldn't cause serious damage but more really sharp pains if to much preassure is applied. I kinda feel useless towards my bf that I can't do half of the positions
This post has been edited by Rainbow1989: Thu May 13, 2010 06:45 AM
Posted Thu May 13, 2010 09:43 AM
Definitely run it by a doctor again. Don't be scared to try things, just move slow and be gentle. If it doesn't hurt, go with it!
Me and my girlfriend always try new odd positions. Sometimes I fall on my face because it doesn't work. Some things hurt her, or me, and its an accident, just remember that it doesn't work next time.
Sex is supposed to be fun, enjoyable and the ultimate bond between two people. Don't stress yourself about it, it's not a fashion show deciding the fate of your life.
Is it comfortable for you to lay on your back? You could maybe lay towards the edge of the bed, he could stand up and enter you off the bed. You could either curl your legs up on him, extend them out towards his neck, or down towards the floor. Find something comfortable and go with it!
you could lay on your side, and he could enter you from behind spooning position maybe. trying to think of things that are easy on the back (although i'm not the one on my back much so I could be horribly wrong lol)
Posted Thu May 13, 2010 10:34 AM
i think also it might be worthwhile talking to your bf about it. sometimes we don't want to say things, especially if they are insecurities, but sex is about sharing so be bold and talk about how you feel; get it out and then get on to having some lovely shags.
and remember, you're not stopping him from having something because of your back and what you may or may not be able to do - you're giving him something, and that includes yourself, your back, and all the experiences he can share only with you.
This post has been edited by Pandora: Thu May 13, 2010 10:37 AM
Posted Thu May 13, 2010 10:48 AM
Some people are hesitant for some reason, but oral sex is amazing and any position that's comfortable works! for both of you.
Posted Thu May 13, 2010 11:52 AM
As I said my boyfriend has has sex before but the only experience I've had with him alone is foreplay, fingering, blow jobs etc which we enjoy.
Posted Fri May 14, 2010 10:00 AM