My Dilema Spark is there
Posted Thu May 20, 2010 11:25 PM
Now before we got back together I had a 1 niter with this chick that was living in the next flat, if I knew she was a nutcase wouldn't of even gone there but didn't know til later. So anyways she' gets jealous of me and my gf, while I am at work she tells her I am cheating on her, and then tells me she's cheating on me. So in the end we broke up. So cut to nine years later I am sitting at home thinking about her and whats she doing etc. Decided to see if I can find her, well I went to this site oldfriends don't know why only been there once and low and behold I find her so I emailed her added her to my msn. A few days later she messages me. Now I didn't get in contact to get back with her just to find out how she was doing etc.
She had a boyfriend we talked and it seemed like the spark was there, so she came up to visit for the weekend and no we didn't do anything. Anyways they broke up was it cause of me I think part of it was, but he was a controlling type was always putting her down calling her fat, and a slut etc. So we are now back together but not living with each other I visit her in public holidays as I don't have a car, will do soon so plan on visiting every weekend well almost every weekend. Do I love her I think i never stopped have I told her no. Why cause still worried that we won't work out but I am wanting it to work.
So my question is am I setting myself up for another fall, to me she's beautiful bit chubby but I like that and she makes me smile.
Posted Sun May 23, 2010 08:19 AM
Nobody can tell you if you love her or not?
Posted Sun May 23, 2010 09:44 AM
Posted Wed May 26, 2010 09:26 AM
Posted Fri May 28, 2010 05:45 PM
Posted Fri May 28, 2010 06:51 PM
Posted Fri May 28, 2010 07:51 PM
Cognitive behavior is going to play a very important role in this situation as well. That being:
THOUGHT -> FEELING -> ACTION
Where as she does something that triggers a thought, which causes you to feel a certain way, and then your behavior reflects that. If she, as an example, is seen by you talking to another guy in a manner which seems to you as very flirtatious, you're going to think "What the fuck, not again", then feel angry probably, then react as if the old scenario is playing itself out. In order to get over these past issues with this girl, you're going to have to change the way your cognitive behavior is.
It's extremely complicated, and going to take a lot of work and communication on both of your parts. Do I think you're setting yourself up for another fall? It's hard to say, but if you love her what does it matter? Not experiencing love is much worse than letting it pass you by. I'd personally rather get my heart torn out a million times, and feel truly loved once. But hell, I'm a sap.
Good luck, let us know how things progress.
Posted Thu Jun 10, 2010 09:26 AM
Posted Fri Jul 09, 2010 02:35 AM