Need some dating 101 advice
Posted Sun May 23, 2010 10:41 PM
Posted Sun May 23, 2010 10:46 PM
Posted Sun May 23, 2010 10:54 PM
This post has been edited by Bodhisattva: Sun May 23, 2010 10:55 PM
Posted Sun May 23, 2010 11:02 PM
Posted Sun May 23, 2010 11:10 PM
So, I'll offer my two cents not because I'm weird (I just burned myself here), but so that you can see that people need to match their personal situation to meeting other people for romantic or sexual purposes. You can read more on my ASSet thread about the different "dates" I've had, but generally, I don't even try to date anymore. That seems to be just a game IMHO, especially when it comes to people who are mature. Normally, I just meet once to see if the person seems relatively well put together. I go with NO expectations except courtesy, respect and cleanliness. I don't date to get to know people or for romance; unfortunately, I have no time for that nor do I wish to get involved in a full-fledge relationship. It's not that I reject the idea, it's simply that I can't commit given my personal situation. Then, if things go relatively well, and if I feel attracted to the guy, I negotiate terms and if everyone is in agreement, I go for it. I know it sounds a little cold, but so far it's worked.
So my advice for you would be to figure out the things that you're not willing to change in your life, that is, the absolute non-negotiables... In my case, I don't bring men at home, so if they don't have a place of their own, everything stops there. I meet men mostly for sexual purposes, so whether they work, have money, and all the financial stuff is irrelevant to me... It might be different in your case. I have a busy schedule, so if they're hot shots at work or heavy on the social scene, more likely they're no score with me... I don't mind booty calls, but it has to go both ways. Then, I make it crystal clear what I expect sexually, and more so what my dislikes are... and this is non-negotiable. Of course, everyone should have their own checklist, so all I'm suggesting here, is that you evaluate what you need, what you're willing to give, your expectations and your non-negotiables.
This post has been edited by Olive: Sun May 23, 2010 11:11 PM
Posted Sun May 23, 2010 11:25 PM
Going by what You've always talked about wanting, you've only every wanted a man thats honest, loving, caring, sharing, courteous, respectful and one that gives as much as takes, sexually. So you want someone open minded too (so you can bring them here!)
Now, if you are looking for a fuck buddy, you know how to go about that, you don't need pointers as you won't find it hard to find a fuck buddy at all, he'll they'd be queuing for you!
If you are looking for romance and a relationship, then you know that you need to be honest from the outset. I would be mortified if I found out a guy I was dating, was dating other girls.......although its never happened to me, i've made it clear from the outset that it wasnt acceptable! lol, it was all about me or nothing.
I would be happy to date several guys but I wouldnt like them to do it so i'd say, meet up with both and you'll know from speaking to them online etc, which one you'll gel with most.
Dating in your neck of the woods is different to the UK though as when you go out with someone, its pretty much taken for granted that you are "exclusively dating" as you are supposed to like each other enough for the 2nd, 3rd dates, by that stage, you are getting to know each other and building something.
I would go with what Olive says if you are looking for a more casual thing though, as that is more how I would treat a fuck buddy, laying down the rules and my expectations at the outset. I wouldnt do that with a potential relationship though as it never works and is too demanding. You can make demands of a fuck buddy as feelings don't come into it and you can demand what you like (thats why fuck buddies are great!)
Oh I'm rambling arent I! Anyway, you know what you want, and you know how to get it, any guy you want, will be all over you once they meet you! You're stunning, hypnotic and I don't know how they would have a chance to mess you around! lol
the no1 rule of dating though is to go with your first instinct. If you don't like him, then don't bother with a 2nd date, its just a waste of makeup!
good luck gorgeous, oh how i wish I was a male in Canada right now!
Posted Sun May 23, 2010 11:43 PM
Communicate openly and honestly. Find out what makes him tick. Be open about what makes you tick and be confident!!!!!
Relax, be warm and effusive without being overpowering. Let your own feminine charm shine through. You have plenty of it from what I hear!!!
If you are having fun let him know it.
Use any opportunity to touch him not in a fawning way but in a matter of fact expression of connection. A warm hand can melt a heart.
Oh did I say communicate openly!!!!!! Then communicate some more.
Keep in mind that you are looking for a best friend ! If you are lucky as I was maybe you will find a best friend and a fuck buddy on the same night ...and they just might be the same person.
Posted Tue May 25, 2010 12:50 PM
So I guess we'll see what happens...technically I'm not seeing both at the same time, which I felt funny about doing if it happened that way...so one down one to go...and go from there I guess.
Posted Wed Nov 03, 2010 10:15 PM