Advice Please (sexual frustration)
Posted Sat Jun 26, 2010 09:00 PM
I just wanted to let you know a bit about myself first and why I am the way I am now let's get to my current issues. since me and my GF broke up I have had sex only 3 times. Once with a girl who liked me about 14 months after the breakup and another about 7 months later which was a girl I met on the net (never saw again, I couldn't get it up for 15 minutes and then came in her in about 30 seconds) and then I had a 2.5 year drought which ended with an awkward one night stand(which I was drunk and lasted forever, I fucked her like hard but being drunk didn't improve my confidence). Now it's been 6 months and going. I need to end this streak of insecurity I taught myself so many wrong things I am trying to make things right. I have very few skills and at 26 that's embarrassing to me.
I have not had a normal life at all I have struggled so much and have had a chance for years to peel away a lot of my problems. I completely stopped watching porn and try to do productive things. But when it comes down to it im a lonely, depressed man. I am scared to death of having sex thinking there is a chance I will PE and I have so much social anxiety with Women dating wise and general conversation I cant see myself getting into a relationship. I tell you I am in trouble, I am a very understanding person because of it though and have managed to change my whole perception of life. I really need regular sex and need the touch of a women. Please give me some good advice please I am in very desperate need.
Posted Sat Jun 26, 2010 09:12 PM
I have had a chance for years to peel away a lot of my problems..
I tell you I am in trouble,
First of all, please give equal credence to whatever people type below me, don't "jump at" this reply just 'cause it's the first; I'm sure people will tell you all SORTS of things. But - - - Honest injun' opionion? You're not anywhere near in as much "trouble" as you think you are.
NOT to belittle the difficult times you have had, which you seem to have perceptively "diagnosed" as being at least partially the root of these challenges.
But - TRY to look at it with a sense of HUMOR, as WELL! - - -
You're a 26-year-old male with serious sexual frustration?
You're "suffering" from "Premature Ejaculation?"
WELCOME TO THE CLUB!!!
Seriously, you're a "kid" for crying out loud, "give yourself a chance!" ENJOY your 20s. Maybe half your 20-something acquaintances are married, but what percentage of them will be divorced by the time they're 45? And I realize this is absolute "heresy" in here but relationships aren't ALL about sex. And if it's all your concentrating on in terms of women - well, this is a biased opinion but THAT I feel is a problem. Or, at least, it potentially could be over the long run.
Maybe try to concentrate more, at least for a while, on making women laugh and smile; and on having fun.
"The rest comes."
This post has been edited by Ghost_Tracker: Sat Jun 26, 2010 09:15 PM
Posted Sat Jun 26, 2010 09:52 PM
From your post it sounds to me that you are always feeling rushed when your with someone. I can orgasm after a minute of sex too, but I really try and slow things down so that I can last longer and get much more pleasure from sex. When I'm feeling close I often slow down or stop thrusting, or if I'm too close during foreplay I give myself a break and work on teasing and pleasuring her.
Don't worry about your supposed lack of skills and instead try to gain as much knowledge and experience from each sexual experience that you can. Sex isn't a sprint, it's a marathon.
Posted Sat Jun 26, 2010 10:47 PM
You've gone through a very long healing process, and you might not feel completely "cured"... Still, I don't see you as that screwed up in the head... At least you've done good things for yourself in spite of your past. I understand that you have needs and crave having a girl at your side, but a lot of people around here has exactly the same problem, maybe not for the same reason, but with the invariable collective outcome. So, come here, make friends around the board... I assure you it helps. You'll be opening up about your sexual frustrations in front of people who won't judge you for being a sexual being. We all are...
So, welcome and keep talking to us...
Posted Sat Jun 26, 2010 11:21 PM
Posted Sun Jun 27, 2010 05:14 AM
Posted Mon Jun 28, 2010 01:25 AM
I noticed today I am not shy around certain chicks, if their Asian I am not as intimidated I guess because I have had an Asian EX GF the one of 2 years. I don't know what to make of it I just need more conversation material that I can just throw out there. In Buddhism they say your mind goes in circles from thinking good thoughts, being confident to slowly dwindling into hatred and suffering then around it goes again. My point being I am happy for a while somewhat content on my future and then I slowly become extremely depressed and feel I have no chance. I tell myself everytime this wont happen again but it always does. If I am alone for a whole day my brain completely shuts down I think because I have been lonely pretty much all my life and was severely mistreated. I think I just need people around me now that are actually my friends.
I understand now that my problems aren't really problems they are just my weaknesses, the real question is how I get over these problems even though I feel I am at a real disadvantage.