thoughts of the gender confused
Posted Mon Jun 05, 2006 05:55 PM
okay my delemia some if someone can shine some light on this please do.
I'm by no means happy with my male body my maleness does bother me at times, but i've been weighing several issues and i've come to this conclusion for myself and i wanna see what you all have to say about it. I've tried to prioritize things in my life and this is the order of thier importance to me and as a result i had to make a decision on my transition.
1) getting back into school and working towards a degree.
2) paying off my bills and getting myself financially secure.
3) finding someone special and being upfront with them about my gender issues.
4) having my own children if its not possible then adopting.
5) possible transition to female.
I've decided at this time to postpone any push at a transition from male to female i decided that though my body is wrong for what i see myself as it is fairly appropriate for my goals at this time. I don't like that there for a few months the transition totally consumed me and I gave up on my present to secure an uncertain future. Though i feel i'm mostly female my personality does have several male traits that i'm not ashamed of or hate and i feel that i can express myself with my friends as a female and continue to live as a male without the stress that comes with transition. Now i'm not saying i won't eventually transition i still might but i'm gonna take my time and work through this one slowly on my own terms so i don't put myself through any complications i don't need to.
Posted Mon Jun 05, 2006 06:10 PM
maybe this is alot easier for me to do than you because i'm a strait guy and dont think about sexuality aside from when im horny because i just think of myself as normal. however, even if this is harder for you to do, maybe if you just concentrated on doing what feels right, and not worry about what or who you are, it'll at least take that burdon of indecisiveness off your chest.
Posted Mon Jun 05, 2006 08:21 PM
Posted Tue Jun 06, 2006 11:23 AM
thanks tuesday also .
i talked to a couple friends about it and they are happy with the decision and i hope this is one i can live with i don't really believe i want surgery or hormones or any permanent things to happen. I believe the only way i would be accepting of being a woman now is if it was a one step thing where i was fully female and could get the full female experience, and even then i mean who is to say that the fantasy of being a woman isn't 100times better then it really is being female.
Posted Tue Jun 06, 2006 12:50 PM
Posted Tue Jun 06, 2006 01:00 PM
Posted Tue Jun 06, 2006 02:16 PM
First off, there are some things you should know about the actual transition/surgical route. You have to begin by seeing a therapist for counseling for 6mos.-1 year or more. Then you have to live life as the opposite sex (in this case a fully dressed female) for at least one year. Then you have to get approval from the doctors that you are appropriate for such surgery. Once that is all done, you begin the hair removal process. Next there is facial bone reconstructive surgery and the shaving of the adams apple Followed by breast augmentation and finally gender re-assignment surgery. There are only a few facilities that offer such surgery. A few are in Canada which is a lot cheaper than getting it in the US.
I suggest you do some searching and speak to others that are in your situation and see what it's like for them. I realize this was the intent of the thread, but I'm not talking about one or two other people, I'm talking about entire organizations devoted to the issue. I'll try to get some links up later on or in the next few days for you. But in the mean time, search "Transexuals" and "Transgendered" sites...they are two different things, but both might help you learn more about yourself.
Having said all that, I'm curious what your true thoughts are of yourself? It your penis you dislike? Having sex with a woman? The dressing?....All of the above?
Give us some more information if possible.
Posted Tue Jun 06, 2006 03:35 PM
as for your question lietchi in my case is i feel both masculine and feminine and the desires fight from time to time but in my mind i have felt for a long time i was supposed to be a female, but when i really look at it objectively the process may not be worth it in the end for me do i wish they could make me a real girl with an easier process but with current medical science its not possible and at this point in my life i no longer feel that its the right choice for me to go through the process and with any luck i can embrace my maleness fully and deal with it and live a healthy successful life and just maybe make one of the ladies from this forum very lucky *grins evilly*
Posted Tue Jun 06, 2006 04:24 PM
I was unaware of your history up until this point, so much of what I told you is just a repeat of what you already knew. However, I will stress again the importance of going to other sites/organizations/and places in general to find a larger population of individuals who are experiencing similar issues.
Please don't mis-interprate me, because I'm not trying to say "get lost we don't need your kind here"...in fact my feelings are quite the opposite. I really do hope you find help and comfort here, but in general this seems to be a place where gender issues aren't discussed in any great depth. What I mean is that you won't find as much info/help here as perhaps another site that focuses primarily on such issues with individuals who are pre-op/post-op, and/or experiencing a similar situation. Your therapist should/should have given you pamphlets on such organizations. If not, ask for them, I'm positive he/she has them available.