Ok, first off, Hi to SF! I've been a voyeur here for a while, but I'm deciding to step out and become ... an exhibitionist? ... n/m
Here is my dilemna: I'm a fetish freak. I mean, there aren't many things I wouldn't do. My girl, however, does not share my mindset. At least I don't think so.
As of late, I've opened up a lot about my desires to my girl (I guess it would be relevant to reveal that we've been together for about 6.5 years; marriage is coming soon). She tells me she loves that I am honest and open with her and she seems generally interested in what I have to say. The problem (problem? not sure) is that she tells me that she doesn't have any fetishes. None. Nothing that she would categorize as "out-of-the-box" (God, I hate that term).
She tells me that she defines herself as "moldable". She told me she hasn't had anyone in the past that is nearly as experimental as I am so she isn't sure how to do "other" things. But, she is willing to try things. And I guess this is where I am falling short and need advice.
To turn this into a concrete example, let's talk anal. This is my biggest fetish and she is WELL aware of it. She undertands that I will NEVER hurt her (that is the biggest turn-off there is) and knows I do plently of research on the topic (to the point of reading medical papers from Ph.D students ... I'm a geek, also ). She makes plenty of anally-themed jokes and will tease me around the house (bending over and spreading her ass for me ... things like that). She likes when something is in / around her ass during sex, but nothing as big as my penis (oh yeah, BTW, I'm no John Holmes or anything. From what I read, I'm "average").
We've had anal a few times but I always felt I'm pushing her to do it, even though she claims nothing of the sort. When committing the act, she usually wants to jump right in to it, after only 1 finger or so. I *know* this is not the proper warmup (that personal fetish is for a different post) and will hurt the inexperience. Therefore, I know she can't be enjoying it (which SF has taught me; women can enjoy anal if done properly .. thanks ladies!). I want to take my time and slowly work my way up but feel like I have a clock ticking away and that just completly ruins in.
She defines anal as one of her "moldable" points. Question is, how do I go about doing it so I don't feel like I'm pressuring her?
How can I explain to her that it takes some time and it can't be a quickie-type thing?
Anyone have experience with my issue(s)? Any other women out there that would consider themself "moldable"? How does someone go about "molding" you?
(Wow, that was longer than I anticipated. Sorry)
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