Is it wrong to tell a woman shes...
Posted Wed Sep 15, 2010 08:51 AM
Posted Wed Sep 15, 2010 09:00 AM
Do you wear your wedding band?
What ARE your intentions??
Do you want to tell her she is beautiful to achieve something, to boost her spirits, WHY??
It sounds like
If you told her, and she hit on you, then what?
If you told her and she accepted the compliment graciously and went about her day, then what?
Posted Wed Sep 15, 2010 09:13 AM
Posted Wed Sep 15, 2010 09:34 AM
Posted Wed Sep 15, 2010 09:37 AM
Posted Wed Sep 15, 2010 09:51 AM
Yeah - glad you don't wear your wedding band. My guess is that she has heard she is beautiful. Yep, she might like to hear it. But if that is all you want to accomplish -make her feel good - leave it to her lovers. No sense putting yourself in a questionable position - unless you want to be there.
I am trying to put myself in that woman's shoes...what would I do..... You know, if a service man comes to my house and if he makes a lovely comment about me, I'm flattered. But I'm married and he knows that (I wear my ring, but also I know what I am going to do with that compliment - be flattered and then get back to business).
It's hard to say if it is or is not appropriate. If it is your business, do what you want - you only stand to have your business to lose or gain by reputation. If you work for someone else - I'd say keep your lips locked.
Posted Wed Sep 15, 2010 09:56 AM
When i get offhand comments from strangers, I don't know how to handle them. I've had a random customer at work ask me "Does your boyfriend tell you that you're beautiful everyday?" and I had no idea what to say so i said "I don't have one." and made it clear I was somewhat offended - that was just awkward and made me uncomfortable. She may be offended if she thinks you're trying to come on to her, so don't be a creep about it.
This post has been edited by LyricalOne: Wed Sep 15, 2010 09:57 AM
Posted Wed Sep 15, 2010 10:21 AM
Posted Wed Sep 15, 2010 06:58 PM
Posted Wed Sep 15, 2010 09:25 PM
Posted Thu Sep 16, 2010 03:02 AM
Save the cutesy lines for the local meat market on Friday night; our friend is working. He needs to respect his job, and respect the woman. Don't forget, he said he wanted to make her feel good, not cheap.
Kiser, I agree with those who say that any comment about her looks can be misconstrued. If, however, you were to compliment something about her ('what a flattering dress/great smile/nice hairdo', or simply 'you look very nice today') as you arrive- and not another word about her from then on- it can be seen as a polite gesture, not a come-on.
To say something when you first greet someone is common courtesy. She'll enjoy hearing it, but she probably won't wonder about ulterior motives. If you make the exact same comment after you've been there an hour, she could get nervous ('has he been watching me all this time? what is he thinking?')
I'm always willing to offer a kind word, but when we say is as important as what we say...
Posted Thu Sep 16, 2010 03:03 AM
Posted Thu Sep 16, 2010 07:09 AM
I for one am ignoring him...his comments that is. They might be funny in another context, but not in this thread.
Q, OP said he just wanted to make her feel good- no ulterior motives. Hmmmm........
Posted Thu Sep 16, 2010 07:16 AM
I'd think you were a little strange if I were the lady in question.
Posted Thu Sep 16, 2010 07:39 AM
Yesterday, I had three comments in a row from people, plus the usual niceties of opening doors, holding elevator doors and such. No, I don't mind at all... as long as it's clear that I'm not looking to get laid.
Posted Thu Sep 16, 2010 10:55 AM
Posted Thu Sep 16, 2010 01:43 PM
I have this affliction. I am an inveterate romantic who is in love with all women. Regardlesss of their height, shape or anything, I love women. I could easily find something complimentary to say about any woman in any situation. But I run the risk of being one of those creepy older guys. So .......
I smile, I am warm and friendly, I am polite, and friendly w/o being creepy. I am just really nice to all women which isn't hard because women make me feel so good about being around them. I never make any comments about appearance unless she responds with a statement of modesty about herself or puts herslf down. I am just returning the serve in those cases.
Posted Thu Sep 16, 2010 02:17 PM
This post has been edited by Olive: Thu Sep 16, 2010 02:18 PM
Posted Thu Sep 16, 2010 05:35 PM
Olive, ya killin' me, I swear.......................