What if I was wrong? I wanted so bad to be wrong. I tried to find excuses for the signs that I saw but deep down I could not lie to myself anymore so I decided to take matters in to my own hands and find out for myself. I installed Mobile Spy Software in to is cell phone and what I found out was the most painful heart shattering thing I could have ever imagined.
Yes he had been cheating on me. He had been cheating on me for some time. Even having sex at work! He had had conversations about me and how he wanted to leave me for her but had to wait for awhile so he could collect alimony (I make about 20 times more than what he does and his lifestyle raised considerably when he married me). He was telling her that if she loved him like she said she did she would wait to live with him for 5 years, In 5 years he said he could divorce me and get enough alimony to totally support them both. By monitoring his SMS messages (Text, Picture, & Video Messages) I read all this and more. Horrible details about there sex life and so much deception I could almost not believe what I was seeing. It was much more than I had suspected.
I was completely heart broken and so angry I was in a rage, I wanted to do so many horrible vindictive things to him my mind was racing. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done but some how I collected myself and kept my cool. I wanted to know more. I used Google maps to track his exact location and found out that the nights he had been “working late” he was actually at two different places, across town in bar district and not to far from there in a apartment building. Not where he said he was, and this was going on 4 or 5 times a week. I also found out that they talked on the phone for hours at a time and sent each other pornographic pictures and videos.
I was very sick about this but I was not going to be played for the fool. I gathered all the evidence I had collected and took it to my lawyer. He was very pleased I had made his case so easy for him, he said he would have no problem leaving with exactly what he came in to the marriage with which was absolutely NOTHING!
Our divorce is not final yet but it will be very soon and although he did try to sue me for alimony my lawyer assures me that be cause of the text message evidence I brought him he will not get one dime. I can use ever bit of evidence I gathered because I am the owner of his cell phone (just by being married I co-own anything of this nature).
I am very glad I found out of his infidelity and intentions now before anything went farther and I am so thankful that we did not yet have children and most of all that I was not taken in like the victim of a con-art which is exactly how I felt. I am still devastated though, I find myself wishing stupid things like that it had only been sex and all that talk of love and money was never there, or even that when I did find out about everything that he had tried to win me back. No I do not want him back so why do I want him to want me? It is silly I know but this whole experience has been so hard and so draining, I used to feel pretty good about myself and now I just feel like my self esteem has been drained.
I would love to hear feed back on my story and your own stories on how you caught your spouse or lover cheating and how you dealt with it after you found out?
How did you move on and put it past you? Or have you even been able to do that?
I knew that could not stay with him but I wished there was a way that I could have. Has anyone caught there partner in the act and stayed with them and had it work?
If you left as I did how did you get past the feelings of loss and betrayal? How did you not take it personally?
I am having a lot of trouble with these issues but I am taking it one day at a time and I just keep telling my self that I am better than this and that I should not be sad over such a scum bag worthless leach of a man but saying it and actually feeling it are two different things.
Maybe we can help each other?
This post has been edited by Duchess: Mon Oct 11, 2010 01:51 PM
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