squishys favorite jokes
Posted Wed Dec 22, 2004 05:23 PM
to which she replied" Do you mean to tell me that this whole time Ive had a choice?"
a man seeing an odd funeral persession of 2 hearse's and a man w/a pitt bull followed by 20 more men in a single file line felt compelled to approach the lead man w/the pitt and say"I realize this is not a good time for you but I've never seen a funeral like this.could you tell me about it?"
"Its quite easy you see, the first hearse is my wife,the dog attacked and killed her"
"And the second" asked the stranger
"Thats my mother-in-law, she tried to stop the attack and the dog killed her too"
amazed and astounded the stranger said the first thought that came to his mind "Damn, I sure would like to borrow that dog!"
"Get in line!" replied the man
whats the differance between michael jackson and a plastic bag?
one of them is white and harhful to children and the other one's a plastic bag. (ouch)
Do u know the differance between oral and anal sex?
oral makes ur day while anal makes ur whole friggin week!
Do u know why GOD gave men bigger brains then dogs?
So we would'nt hump HER leg when we got to heaven
a man arrived home early to find his wife naked and a cigar burning in the ashtray. curious he asks "where the hell did that come from?'
and a voice from under the bed replied "havana"
do u know the difference between ur bonus and ur boner?
ur wife will gladly blow ur bonus.
Posted Wed Dec 22, 2004 10:14 PM
Posted Wed Dec 22, 2004 10:37 PM
our new joke critic.
is that a thumb up, thumb down? or two thumbs up or what?
Posted Wed Dec 22, 2004 10:41 PM
:edit never mind, i do not want to know.
keep your thumbs to yourself, LOL
Posted Thu Dec 23, 2004 12:05 AM
Posted Fri Dec 24, 2004 05:48 PM
AGREED... BUT WHAT DO U WANT FROM A NEWBEE
Posted Fri Dec 24, 2004 06:06 PM
Posted Fri Dec 24, 2004 07:27 PM
BECAUSE THERES TWENTY OF THEM
Posted Thu Dec 30, 2004 08:02 PM
one slip of the tounge and your in deep shit.
a hunter spots a bear and raises his gun and fires. when the smoke clears he looks for,but cant find the bear. a moment later he feels a tapping on his shoulder.he turnes to discover the bear standing befor him. the bear says to him"noboby shoots at me and gets away w/it" he continues " you've got a choice, you can either be torn limb from limb and eaten or drop yer pants and grab yer ankels"
deciding anything was better then getting eaten the guy drops his pants and the bear has his way w/him.
hobbling home the hunter gets a bigger ,better gun and heads out for revenge. he spots the bear and takes two shots and again w/the smoke clears theres no bear. again he feels a tapping and turns to find the bear. again the man chooses the latter choice and now he crawls home with a bloody asshole.
this time arming himself w/a bazoka he heads back out. again he spots the bear and again he fires. again w/the smoke clears theres no bear and he braces for the inevitable tapping.
this time as he turns to the bear the bear askes" your not doing this for the hunting anymore are you?
a guy was bringing a friend home for snacks and to catch a game.as they walked thru the door the spotted his wife fucking the mailman on the sofa. w/out batting an eye he continued to the kitchen followed by his buddy. curios his buddy asks him what hes doing.
the man calmly states 'I'm making our snacks"
"But what about the mailman?" he asks.
"Fuck him, he can make his own".
what do u call a dog w/no legs?
Does it matter, the damn thing ant gonna come anyway.
Posted Sun Jan 02, 2005 01:04 AM
u gotta push 'em aside to start eating
do u know why redneck crimes are so hard to solve?'cause theres no dental records and all the DNA's the same.
Ive got two that are funny but dont want to offend anyone so if u want to hear them just email me and referece the words "bowling balls and fliestrips" :icknose: