Posted Thu Nov 16, 2006 11:09 AM
She's dealing with issues with self-esteem and anxiety and that could be affecting it. She is seeing a psychologist about it next week and I'm supporting her through this rough patch in her life. Counsellors haven't worked for her mainly due to personality mismatch.
But to feel nothing sexual? Sex just does not enter her mind!
This is very frustrating for me because I have to hold back my desires. It's hard for both of us because I see her situation and she understands mine too, but it doesn't resolve anything.
Its hard to get turned on, because I think about my gf but I know she couldn't care less sexually, and is going though these psychological troubles - it just doesn't fit! ahhrrrr!!
Anyone else experience or identify with this kind of thing or have any suggestions?
Posted Thu Nov 16, 2006 11:58 AM
Posted Fri Nov 17, 2006 04:38 AM
Posted Fri Nov 17, 2006 08:05 AM
That is one of the reasons that I have liberated myself sexually. I was on my own for so long, I re-evaluated my hangups and inhibitions. When my wife came out of it, she also emerged as a liberated woman with a new sexual attitude.
Just take care of your own business until she snaps out of it.
I am a firm believer in self discovery. Analize the situations and logically come to a resolve. Counciling is just making you aware of these same things. You can work it out between you.
Posted Fri Nov 17, 2006 11:51 PM
Posted Sun Nov 19, 2006 10:36 PM
Why? Are you sure you can't think of any other outlet?
Posted Mon Nov 20, 2006 10:14 AM
BIG: Why what? And what do you mean by outlet? Of course I masturbate, but my sex drive is RAMPANT - so if I see her for more than 24 hours I go mad with horniness. Thing is she has MAJOR issues with self-esteem/ body image/ anxiety, so I can't tell her that I think she looks sexy, hot and beautiful knowing that she fckuing hates her body and harshly criticises it in her mind everyday. Or are you refering to things like sports and stuff? Because that's not what this is about. Unless you mean talking to counsellors... yeah that helps sometimes.
Posted Mon Nov 20, 2006 06:55 PM
Yes I meant masturbating, and if you see her and go mad with horniness and you masturbate, what's the problem?
But here is a new issue. You have it backwards about telling her she looks hot, etc. If she has body image issues that's when you do tell her how you feel about her body. Why would you hold back compliments from somebody that would probably benefit from them the most?
Posted Mon Nov 20, 2006 07:14 PM
I hope your experience turns out different, but don't delude yourself either.
Posted Tue Nov 21, 2006 08:20 AM
We don't live together yet but when she sleeps over, I will often be really horny the next morning lying next to her that I will have to go to the next room to masturbate because she wants nothing to do with it (sex, sexual activities, etc.). Of course she is not responsible for my sexual satisfaction, and nor I for her satisfaction, but to share this in a relationship is more than important to me. Well... it's not happening and it makes me sad, and I find masturbation just average because these things go through my mind. I don't know if that makes sense...
wingsofdesire: Thanks for sharing your experience. The siutation you were in does sound similar to mine and sounds like you had to make a very tough decision that you've stuck with for 7 years and made the best of it since. I don't want to leave her but right now we are just really good friends and it is not the same. We've been together for 5 years...
I think I need to liberate myself, sexually, as topper suggested. I should stop worrying and getting worked up about her feelings toward sex because I am really choosing to let it bother me when I pleasure myself. And its all about what I want when I masturbate alone anyway, so what other people think should not matter one bit.
Posted Tue Nov 21, 2006 11:36 AM
from psychology studies i do know that this is a much more common trait in females than males for a variety of reasons..some of which have been touched upon above in prior posts, however, this can also be caused by medications especially antidepressants and hormonal imbalances.
Posted Tue Nov 21, 2006 04:03 PM
i hope everything goes okay with you and your gf's therepy