I love putting wise @$$ greetings on my answering machine , so I though a Thread dedicated to em would be fun , here's a few I use >:]Answering Machine Messages
2. Hi. Now you say something.
3. Hi, Iím not at home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
4. Hello. Iím Davidís answering machine. What are you?
5. Hi! Johnís answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and Iíll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
6. Hello, You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their pictures taken. If youíre still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
7. This is not an answering machine.. This is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and Iíll think about returning your call.
8. Hi. I am probably home. Iím avoiding someone I donít like. Leave me a message, and if I donít call back, itís you. (I'm currently using this one LoL)
9. Hi, this is George. Iím sorry I canít answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.
10. If you are a burglar, then weíre at home cleaning our weapons right now and canít answer the phone. Otherwise, we probably arenít home and it is safe to leave us a message.
11. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
12. Hello, youíve reached Jim and Helga. We canít pick up phone right now, because weíre doing something we really enjoy. Helga likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right, real slowly. So leave a message, and when weíre done brushing our teeth, weíll get back to you.
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